A Whisper from the Heart

Stormy weather

2005-05-02T11:47:00.000+06:00

Quote from 'Importance of being Earnest' -
Gwendolyn: "Don't talk to me about the weather, Mr Worthing. When people talk to me about the weather, I'm quite certain they mean something else... And that makes me so nervous."

Say! She's Gwen too!

Anyway, she's quite wrong in this case, I'm really talking about the weather...

It's summer now... So it's really HOT! Got under the weather a bit... With some headaches and stuff... But I don't feel too bad being in

Bangladesh

... I heard that home is equally hot... =) And we don't even get the nice cold spells of winter like over here...

For a while though, we were getting quite a nice relief from the heat... There was a short season of rain... Hmm... Rain is putting it nicely... We were getting some pretty exciting thunderstorms...

Back home, we lived in the water catchment area... (Read: Rain 24/7) And I loved watching the storms from my room window or inside the car... (the safe places)... listening to the sound of the rain hitting my window... Lightning is especially facinating to watch... The funny patterns that come up against the backdrop of the darkened sky... Just beautiful... Some would be so near that it would light up the entire house! Of cos, there were the days when I would be caught outside with no umbrella... And I'd walk up the steep slope to get home... Sometimes I'd sing and dance and drink in the surroundings... Other times, I just sloshed my way back, savouring a bad mood... But I'd always arrive at my doorstep, completely soaked to the bone...

It was nice to experience thunderstorms again...

Over here, the winds get really strong and tosses everything around... Like the dustbin on the roof of Pathshala... Feels as though it could almost lift me up and blow me away... Sometimes the sand gets swept up on the road and we gotta cover our faces... It's very terrible for rickshaw wallahs... If they have passengers, they can't stop and find shelter... they have to continue riding while closing their eyes... Good thing they don't get into any accidents... Or at least not as far as I've heard...

When the rain comes, the whole place just changes... Traffic reduces to a trickle... Everything slows down... For me, I leave the door open and let the smell of the rain and the cool breeze get into the room... Sometimes, I just stop what I'm doing and just stare at the rain... Rain always gives me that lovely lazy feeling...

Ironically, the most interesting storm that I’d experienced here isn’t a thunderstorm… It was a hailstorm… It was raining at that time… I was at work… And I started hearing a very strange sound coming from the rain… It sounded like someone throwing stones… Atiq came to get me and Jess to go see…

It was raining little ice pieces! Each piece was about the size of a 20 cent coin… (Sing dollar)… They looked very special too… Not your normal ice cube… They were round for one thing… they all had nice small spherical dense little centres… And the sides were more translucent… I ate one… Tastes just like ice… =)

Jess & I got really excited seeing the hail that we ran up to the rooftop to get a better view… We didn’t go out to the open though… Didn’t want to get wet… Besides, we both knew that if we got hit by one of those hailstones, it would hurt a lot…

Someone in office didn’t bother though… Just ran out in the rain like a madman picking up the hail stones… For the record, I didn’t call him a madman… The other people in office called him that… “Pagol!” I agree though… He didn’t have any change of clothing… So he had to wrap himself up in a blanket for the rest of the day to keep from getting a cold… Bekub…

Hate to sound judgemental but I really don’t like people doing things like that… Playing in rain when everyone is around… For one thing, you’re supposed to be working… For another, you just look like you’re trying too hard to prove that you are being spontaneous and stuff… I say… If you wanna play in the rain… Do it when no one is around…

The bad news of all this is, Jess suspects that we’ve just experienced the last of the good rainy weather… Which means, all we’re gonna get now is the plain ol’ hot humid topical weather… Sigh…

Tribute To The Pranksters...

2005-04-28T23:30:00.000+06:00

Lately I've been getting some rather amusing calls and smses on my Dhaka number... No... Actually it's just one amusing call... I get more amusing smses... Haha!

It all started during the new year... I was out with Jess, Darren, Topu, Danny & all their friends... Suddenly I got a call...

"Hi, this is... (Couldn't catch the name. Anyway, that's not important.) Is this Gwen?"
"Yes. Where do I know you from?"
"I got your number from Islam."
"Islam?"

(Who on earth is Islam? I thought that was a religion! The question must have caught the guy offguard and that was the first word he could come up with... Not smooth, not smooth...)

"Yes, you know Islam?"
"You mean Insan?"

(Insan is a rather egotistical photographer who has had his work up on the walls of Cafe Mango for months, apparently as a critique of Chobi Mela. But they are so incoherent that no one has any idea what his point is. Besides that, he has several self portraits in the mix... And that's plain creepy. So if it were him that the guy on the phone was talking about, everyone would know where to find him. I had a name card. Then I realized I was always smart enough not to give Insan my number.)

"No, Islam."

(Oh well.)

The rest of the conversation involved getting the weird guy to talk to every single one of my guy friends just to scare him off, and find out what he wanted from me... Apparently, he needed to meet up with me and talk about something personal... (Right... I barely remember where I've known him and he's got something personal to talk to me about? Get outta here...) We even tried to fake that I had a boyfriend and discourage him... Finally, we got bored of him and just hung up....

He never called again... Which is a bit of a surprise and relief really... But I got some other strange smses...

These three came that same day... Same number... So I assume the same guy...

"Handsome, sweet, intelligent, spontaneous, good looking, nice friend, charming, funny, well........ it is enough about me, what about u?"

Good thing he didn't say humble... That would be plain lying...

"***Shuvo Noboborsho*** Faysal"

Rather nice of him to leave a name actually....

"Have gone out today..&..have u seen the setting sun, which is telling u by forver ur sorrows. Just wait for the next sun which is blessing u ***Shuvo Noboborsho***"

I know he's trying to be philosophical and poetic and all that... But I really don't understand what he's saying... Think my arty farty Nightbird could give him a pointer or two... No... An intensive course in English and Poetry is due....

I showed all my friends those smses... And they all think it's funny... Apparently, this sort of thing happens a lot over here... Jess asked if I was worried or scared or anything... I said no... The guy doesn't know me... Just my number... What's to worry about? Even if they knew my name, it just means they're resourceful... But they wouldn't be able to recognise me even if I was standing right in front of them... Besides, if they tried to make trouble, I'd get Pathshala Topu to scold them... He's really fierce...

Here's the latest one I got... On 23 April 2005 @ 1.20pm...

"Guen, 1st day I saw u on the street felt that life is beautiful. 2nd time saw u smilin with eyes of the bluest sky so knew that life is Blah.... I luv u. John"

I'm really sorry to offend 'John' but I can't help laughing everytime I read this... It's the bad english, the pathetic attempt to be romantic and poetic, the even more pathetic attempt to profess his love for a complete stranger when he got her name wrong... And the fact that I don't have blue eyes! Gee, I'm real sorry man... You got the wrong Guen...

People might think I'm weird, keeping those smses and writing about it... Truth is, I kept the smses to write about it... Not for any other weird reasons... But just to pass the joke around... I'm sure someone else will get quite a good laugh out of these too... And it's kind of interesting to see how these pranksters work... Adds a little humour to every routine day I must say...

If you find yourself caught in love...

2005-04-16T15:00:00.000+06:00

Everytime I hear the Belle & Sabastian song "If you find yourself caught in love", I'm reminded of the most romantic event I'd taken part in this year... Nope, it's not a Valentine's day thingy... (If you remember, I had quite a bad Valentine's Day...)... It's not a very good romantic movie... (They don't show foreign shows in the cinemas here...) It's not even a good romantic novel... (Never been big on romance romance books...)

It was my sister's wedding... =)

The webgallery for their wedding day finally came out last week... www.36frames.com/webgallery/ycyh ... and I spent the entire day looking at their pictures... It left me in tears at times… It was a really really beautiful event...

We did the usual things… The Groom goes to pick up the bride and brings her home… They give tea to the parents and relatives… The bride changes… Then they go back to the bride’s home to give her relatives tea… And everybody eats a lot… Of cos… No one ever makes it easy for the groom to get to his bride…

My dear brother (think it’s easier to call him that than brother-in-law) got a mini Amazing Race… (One of their favourite shows… It’s a good thing they didn’t do Fear Factor though…) He had to go to Jalan Kayu to buy breakfast… Imitate a Shah Rukh Khan MTV… Recite an original poem in 7 steps… And, we pulled a “Runaway Bride” trick… My sister was placed in the loft… (And not in our room, where she was supposed to be…)

The actual solemnization and wedding was held at the Ritz Carlton… So you can imagine… The glitz… The glamour… It was a dizzy, dazzling place… A place you can really call “Romantic”… 90 tables… 900 guests… Theme of Tiffany’s turquoise… White feathers… White roses… A luscious warmly lit banquet hall… Soft music… Gives you the mood of being in love all over again…

I was pretty swept up by the whole event too… That evening, I was wearing a pretty strapless pink dress with a poofy skirt… 3 inch heels… An elegant purple crystal bracelet and necklace to match… Made by my mum’s dear friend Aunt Lay Kian… My hair was swept up in a pretty bun with braids at the top, and white flowers pinned in it… My nails were manicured… My eyebrows were plucked, and my lashes curled and laced with mascara… The make up was put on like an elaborate painting… (yup, I felt like a canvas…) I could hardly recognize myself in the mirror… The Nightbirds met me that night and they were stunned… Ivan said that was Gwen as he had never seen before…Mark asked me how it felt to be a woman…

The VIP table was the largest I’d ever seen actually… Think there were 19 people… My brother’s family is pretty big… He has three sisters who are all married… One of them with a little toddler called Ethan… My uncle and aunt from China were there with us as well… But even though the table was so big, most of the time, everyone was missing… My sister-who-was-getting-married and my brother were missing most of the time… As expected… They had to enter and leave the hall time and time again… (I still don’t get that bit… but they were very cool… They came in on Segways at one entry…) Then there were the other little things they had to do, like make their rounds at all the tables… Pop the champagne… Cut the wedding cake… Make speeches…

The emcees for the evening were my brother’s 3rd sister and her husband… So they were kept busy writing their lines down and scuttling between the table and the stage… My sister-who-wasn’t-getting-married was the main organizer of the whole wedding… the hotel personnel were all taking their cue from her… She had hurt herself that afternoon, but that didn’t quite stop her from moving around… Just slowed her down a teeny bit… (I think she should have used the segway too…) The parents have their own parenty things to do too… Mingle with their guests and the relatives… I’m really not sure what parents do at weddings… Maybe it’s the mixed feelings… they are happy cos one of their kids is no longer under their charge… and they are sad cos one of their kids is no longer under their charge… It must be a very awkward transition…

My job for the evening was to perform a short item… It’s quite an easy job compared to the rest… Save for the nerves that came up before it was my turn… (I was even worried that I might trip over my heels on the way up the stage…) I had intended to write an original song for my sister… But I couldn’t quite fit words into a melody I wrote… So I just stole a melody and fitted in my own words… That was the English song… I also prepared a Chinese song for the benefit of the older crowd… Didn’t want them to be too bored…

Here’s a little information on the Photographer who prepared the web gallery… His name is Rueyloon… And he took really good pictures… He had some very artistic and unique perspectives… and has a knack for making a very chaotic situation look so peaceful… He captures all the little moments... And that makes it special... In his pictures, everything looked so quiet and orderly… It was exactly how I wanted to remember it… Even Jessica was very impressed by his pictures… She was amazed that anyone could take such pictures at a wedding…

The problem about being in the photography circle is, when you show people pictures of your sister’s wedding, you get silly arrogant frens insisting that they can do a better job… In fact, they start fantasizing about going to Singapore to do wedding photography to make it big… For the benefit of all of these dreamer photographers, here’s the facts of the matter…

Exchange rate: S$1 – TK36

The cost of hiring a photographer for 1 Day’s work, inclusive of a coffee table book and web hosting = S$1200

Expenses: (Covered by photographer)
Air Ticket: S$800
Accomodation: S$200
Book: S$50
F&B: S$200
Total Expenses: S$1250

Profit: - S$50/=

If they are interested in doing studio shoots as well, (maybe to earn more?)… Studio shoots range from SGD $1500 to SGD $2500. That is inclusive of the studio with equipment and the final product. The rental of studio and equipment must all be covered by the photographer.

Conclusion: Don’t quit your day job, dude…

Interestingly, the most poignant moment of the wedding was not captured in the web gallery… In fact, it could not have been captured by Rueyloon nor anyone else… It was a private moment when I saw my sister and my new brother cry as I sang for them… and in a magical instance, (as if they suddenly realized that this was the start of their new lives together…) they kissed… No camera could have caught that moment… I was the only person in the position to see it… because I was on stage… and it was so loving and tender… It would never ever be erased from my mind…

It’s strange… That in such a big and elaborate event, it is the small quiet moments that make it truly special… And I think, even if I ever decided to embark on a career as a performer (under the probing of the audience that evening who are convinced I’m gonna be the next big thing… It’s the alcohol really…) No other experience would ever give me more satisfaction than having created that moment for them… =)

Shuvo Noboborsho (Happy New Year)

2005-04-16T14:50:00.000+06:00

14th April: Bengali New Year

Wake up at 7.30am… Put on sari that I bought with Jess… Head off to Romna Park to see the classical performances… Then head to arts college to see the rally… have lunch… and then see other happenings elsewhere…

Well, that was the plan… Got up at 7.30am to put on the new sari I bought with Jess… Jess & Darren woke up late… And by the time we both got our saris all done, it was 9… too late to see the classical performances… Opps…

So we headed down to the arts college… The weather was extremely hot! Nono… It was sweltering… Not really the best day to wear a lot of cloth I can tell you… I was sweating under my sari… good thing the blouse is like a midriff thing… when the wind blows, my torso is cooled… at least… Mind you, I never wear midriffs… Ever… so this sari thing is quite an adventure… I couldn’t walk right too… cos I was afraid that I would step on the skirt and it would come undone… apparently it couldn’t… after all I pinned it all down… but the worry was there… And I was walking really slowly… taking really tiny steps… sheesh… for the beginning part, jess & I didn’t even feel like taking our cameras out… but we decided not to waste the day…

There was such a lot of people! Lots of women wearing red and white… macam Singapore National day… That gives me an idea actually… Think I’ll wear my red sari with a white blouse next time on National Day… Haha! (I can almost hear Mark and Ivan complaining right now...)

The 3 of us decided to venture out onto the road where the rally was moving by... It was a bit too hot and too crowded for us to follow the rally... We stayed around the area... Then we got caught in a terrible stampede. There was a concert held in the middle of the road and that totally blocked up the traffic…People started pushing and shoving and we nearly got stuck in a little section in the road completely immobile... Good thing there were some kind hearted people who helped us get back into the moving lane and we go out of the crowd... It was really scary... Many times, we could have been squeezed to the point where we couldn't breathe... (Trick: Keep your arms in front of you... so that you will always have breathing room...)

Ended up at a carnival across the road from the art college… eating fuchkas and taking pictures of two very darling kids…The little one was so shy... I took his picture and showed it to him... When he saw himself, he was so excited... The older one was very cool... Kept trying to look serious... But most of the time, he couldn't keep his laughter in... Their mother is very pretty I must say... And such a good natured lady...

In every event, what is one thing that Gwen must do? Shopping! Bought some local toys… a little drummy thing and an ektara... Even a silver toy cooking set…As Jess says, I'm forever buying useless shiny things…

Lunch was very nice… proper briyani… It's a good thing we arrived at the restaurant quickly... because soon after we got our seats, the crowds came in and there was no room left... To get away from the crowds at the art college, we took a van to accommodate all of us, Danny, Topu and their frens... and the 3 of us… Vans are a type of vehicle that looks like a cart attached to a bicycle... Mostly used for goods in Dhaka... The van wallah had actually been selling coconuts on his van... but he finished selling them so we could hire it to sit... everyone was staring at us… cos no one takes vans except in the village areas…

After lunch, it was back to our rooms to relax... Topu and Danny came to visit later that evening... And they were really tired... So they each took one end of my bed and laid there to rest... Poor tired guys...

15th April: Bengali New Year Again…Shong Kranti

Well well… I had no idea that there was a continuation of the new year… but we stumbled upon it anyway…

We just wanted to have a relaxing offday.. (for me at least.. Jess is on leave… the lucky girl…) It was another scorching hot day... We emerged from our aircon rooms at about 1… to have lunch at Best Fried Chicken… had an Ice Cream at Rainbow Italian Restaurant… then back to Pathshala to rest somemore… it’s the heat… makes one so tired and uncomfortable… went out again at 5pm… to go down to Buriganga…

We visited Jessica’s family… the family she photographed the last time i mean... they’re really sweet… the girl is very pretty… got the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen… but she looks so old for a nine year old… almost grown up… the baby is really shy… Darren offered cigarettes to the crowd that had gathered around us... And before he knew it, most of the pack was gone... But the people were quite happy to get the gift...

Then we went on the river… I really really love the motion of the boat… the best thing in Dhaka if you ask me… I could be on the river all day if possible...

Then we decided to visit Hindu street Shangkari Bazaar. It is really nice… The whole street was very elaborately decorated... I've never seen Hindu Street this crowded and lively before... There were some big speakers set up at one part of the street and some of the younger people were dancing to it... The places of worship were totally crowded... They also set up some altars in the middle of the road... Think we would have stayed longer and enjoyed ourselves better if the weather had been colder... we were subsisting on cold cokes all the way... But still, nothing stops Gwen from shopping... I bought kites! 5 of them... and the cool big thingy to hold the string with... Very nice… Next time I’m buying a tablah.. or the drums… And some more local instruments...

(I'm seriously considering shipping... Otherwise, Mark is going to help me bring back some of my stuff... I'll never make it back on my own... )

The best thing about our trip to Old Dhaka was the amazing rickshaw wallah we got on the way back… We were actually intending to get a CNG... but this guy said no, he can take us... We told him where we were going, and that it would be 3 people... He was completely unfazed... And He tooks us for Tk50... (To some it's expensive, but we thought it was ok since it is really far for anyone to cycle that distance with us in tow.)

He was so much fun! He was weaving thru traffic with such a lot of ease and we estimate he was going at 50kmh... haha! At one point he turned around with a big grin on his face and asked us... "CNG good or rickshaw good?" Duh? Rickshaw la! It was a really really cool ride... He asked about us, if we were siblings... We said no, just friends... We asked if he had children... he has 3 girls! (Doesn't that sound vaguely familiar?) And he thinks I look like one of his girls... Cool!

But as we expected, he started to get tired... We asked him if he wanted to have some tea... He declined... We just stopped him... And bought him tea and Darren offered him a cigarette... We finished the rest of the trip... He was pleasantly surprised when we gave him another Tk20 on top of the agreed amount... Just for being such a sport... and for not extorting more than was originally agreed... He shook all our hands before we left...

It's all about give and take, I guess... If there were more wallahs like him, I would gladly give more to them... The kind who are honest, and really take pride in their job and have such a positive outlook... Cos he made our day, we wanted to do the same for him... After all, it is the New Year!

Interesting Fact: I learnt how to spell "Shuvo Noboborsho" because some prankster got hold of my mobile number and started sending me smses... He was trying to introduce himself to me and make some clever conversation... I ignored it... But I made use of this particular phrase... =)

3 Singaporeans

2005-04-13T17:00:00.000+06:00

Quip of the week:

"No, we don't have Tiger beer... Do you want Elephant?"

Must be wondering why Gwen's talking about beer right? Don't worry... I'm still teetotal...

Let me explain...

Jessica's boyfriend just arrived at Dhaka two days ago and we'd all been going out... They are really funny to hang out with... I haven't spoken that much Singlish in a long long time! I mean, Jess & I do speak it... But it's just more dynamic with Darren around now... Cos he talks really fast and has a very quirky sense of humour... (I didn't say that... Jess did...) It is a very interesting feeling when you can talk using a little bit of dialect here and there, throw in some chinese and malay into the sentence... and EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS... It's a real first...

First day he arrived, we all went to Elephant road and bought saris.. Jess bought 2... I bought 1... (Mine cost Tk400! Unbelievably cheap... Jess' was even cheaper... But oh well... ) When the couple talks, it sounds like they are arguing... But really... They're just having fun! And it's really amusing to watch them...

Last night, we went to have dinner at Bar-B-Q Tonight. It's a strange place... But not in the way you'd think....We have meals out in the open... In their courtyard... Which is good... But everytime we go there, we'd end up getting very badly stared at and laughed at... Good thing it wasn't like that yesterday...

The people there didn't notice us much... The waiter was a little grumpy at first... Until he started noticing that we were speaking bangla... And then he was so amazed that he praised us for it... He wore a smile for the rest of the evening... =) The food is nice... But i've decided never to get that beef I ordered yesterday ever again... It's a beef patty minced with chilli and chilli seeds... It's really really hot... I had to get 2 lassis to get it down... Phew!

After dinner we saw a naked man sitting at the side of the road... Reminded me of this one incident, days before that, of another woman who wasn't wearing anything.. According to Rajiv, who took pictures of the entire event, she had taken off her clothes and thrown them away... Jess & I saw her sitting at Road 32 with only paper to cover herself... Rajiv told us that many women had come by and tried to give her clothes to put on... But she refused them and chased them away.... Later on, she came near Pathshala and Jess ran to give her old sari... Only it was Zaid who actually offered it to her... He looked the most gentle of all of us... And she accepted it! She put on the sari very very quickly... Much faster than Jess & I ever could...

Ok... Back from the sidetrack...

We decided to go to Peacock... An underground bar... Jess & Darren wanted to get some beer... I just wanted to see what the place was like... It's in a small alley... Near a Peacock Restaurant and Peacock Hotel... It looks like a long room with curtained windows and doors on one side... No lights on the inside... Save for some small red bulbs.... Zaid said that the idea was that no one can see your face from the next table... (But that did not stop some strange guy in the next table from asking us... "Your country?") And no a/c either... Just fans... And bad music... It's just a place to drink and leave... No atmosphere whatsoever... I found it rather interesting though... It just seemed like such a candestine affair... Haha...

Good thing Zaid came along... He helped us from getting ripped off by the waiters... (Ok, not really us... I didn't buy anything at all...) Jess was saying... "For someone who doesn't smoke or drink, you are really hanging out a lot with us..." Haha! She was slightly high at that point... She only had one can of Heineken... But being the first one in 3 months... It might as well have been vodka...

Okok.... Now, where does that strange quip come from then?

See, Jess & Darren ordered Heineken... Then they saw an anchor logo somewhere... And decided to try their luck at getting Tiger Beer... So they asked the waiter for Tiger... The guy had no idea and went to the kitchen to find out... After a while, he came back and said...

"No, we don't have Tiger beer... Do you want Elephant?"

Darren started laughing! Until he realized that the guy was dead serious....

Just makes us wonder... What exactly is Elephant beer anyway?

Like awaiting the birth of a child

2005-04-13T13:30:00.000+06:00

It's taken Months of waiting... Weeks of uploading... Days of preparation... But guess what?

The first pictures are finally out!

Yup...

To view the pictures, just click on either the thumbnail picture or the title of the album... (They are on the right side of the website) Either way gets you to the pictures...

Feel free to leave comments for the pictures... But as always... Leave a proper nickname so that I'll know whether to take your comment seriously or just kick you out... Makes my job a little easier....

Because, unlike alot of weird bored people in this world (many of whom read this blog)...

I have a job...

Cheers!

Joke of the Day

2005-04-13T10:50:00.000+06:00

I'd recently posted some new pictures on my friendster... One of me in a Salwar Kameez... Another of me in "Escape from Shanghai"... (The one on my profile)

Days later, I got a very excited message from a particular Mr-Soh-Soon... The subject was "wwwaaahaahhaahaha"... And he was gushing about how funny and how cute the pictures were... Even wanted me to keep it up...

So I sent him this picture...

Funny?

Well, I'm quite sure Mr-Soh-Soon is rolling on the floor laughing now...

Gwen Buddhi Barcche... (Gwen's getting clever...)

2005-04-09T11:43:00.000+06:00

Just completed a crash course in digital photography... "The Digital Survival Kit" organised by Ikon Photo and conducted by my very own BIG BOSS... Mind you... It was a very good workshop...

In two days, I cleared up all my doubts about resolution and pixels and bits and all that annoying microscopic thingys that every digital-using person needs to know but that no one ever bothers to figure out... I'm proud to say that I finally got it all sorted out... Not without much consternation and frustration of cos...

Don't worry... I'm not about to bore anyone with any of the specifics... But if you wanna know... Email me...

If you don't have my email... Drop me an email and I'll give it to you... =)

The only problem with the workshop was... I was the only non-bangla speaking person in the room and that meant that Boss had to speak in bangla most of the time... On the first day, I was trying my best to follow what he was saying with whatever pathetic knowledge of Bangla I had... I was quite lost... But Boss was good... He'd notice when I had a pained look on my face, the look i had when i was completely clueless, and translate into English for me... Next day, I knew better... I sat right in front of Boss... So he could see my pained look immediately... And... I kept asking him to translate not only what he said but what other people in class had asked... Plus, I'd ask questions about things from his notes that I didn't understand...

It pays to be inquisitive in this case...

So after several hours of sitting in the Ikon Photo Studio, feverishly taking down notes and trying very hard to digest every bit of information being thrown out... I now have a little notebook with all the information given during the workshop and an official certificate of participation to show for it... So proud of myself!

Final Note: Nightbirds, our long overdue photos from the outing we had while I was in SG is finally out! Check it out here... Password Hint: Name of Gwen's favourite Initial D character... If you're dyslexic and can't spell, it's your problem...

Nothing ever happens around here

2005-04-07T12:47:00.000+06:00

People are starting to say that I don’t blog about the things happening here anymore… Well, the reason is, nothing ever happens here… =)

For instance, nothing ever happens in Drik…

We wake up at about 9 every morning, reach work at 10+ (that’s late btw… but we don’t really care to be on time since there’s nothing for us to do here…), and we set up our laptops and start surfing the internet… I’ve been uploading my pictures everyday but it’s not finished yet because of all that backlog from the past 3 months… (Anyway, I suspect one of my rolls of film is missing or isn’t scanned yet…) Otherwise, I’m setting up my blog for when the photos are ready… There’s not much work, except that I just got two books yesterday to write summary scripts for…

There’s this group of models who rent the Gallery to rehearse for their performance at some snazzy hotel for the Bengali New Year coming up on the 14th… Not sure I like them much… I’m sure they’re expert models… but dancing?... And besides, they’ve been leaving behind a mess everyday and poor Azirha has to clean up after them in the mornings… Think that’s pretty irresponsible…

Drik’s been having a massive change in employment… Abir is leaving for another good job at the European Photo Agency… Tutul and Amin have been shipped off to Drik India for an exchange program for 4 months… We are having a new operations manager who starts work today… No idea what his name is… We had two new people at Multimedia, to work on our human rights portal www.banglarights.net ... Two more people to help out at AV… And I’m sure there are other new people around that I just haven’t met yet…

Big Boss got upset one day cos he discovered that everyone wasn’t working… Myself included… He found some of them watching cricket, playing games on the computer…. And he was completely disillusioned… I feel bad for him… Everyone knew everyone else was slacking off… And it isn’t really their fault… There isn’t much to do during off peak periods anyway… But Big Boss didn’t know that… And his face was blacker than coal all that day… His assistant was relating the whole story of that day to us after work… It was quite ridiculously funny actually… Even though we were all in disgrace...

Yup… Nothing ever happens at Drik. Heck! Nothing ever happens at lunch time either…

Jess & I recently discovered two nice little eating places… One of them is a branch of Mango Café called “Escape From Shanghai”. The picture in my profile was taken there… And the place really looks like that… Very pink and dreamy… We were just trying out my camera and Jess happened to get a very good moment when the waiter walked by… We edited it to make the colour richer and I cropped it to get the movie effect… Giving it a very ‘In the mood for love’ feel… (We’re crazy about the show… heh!)

We also discovered “Shwarma Palace”… A shwarma looks like a mos rice burger… Only the bread isn’t rice… It’s filled with very nice bits of beef or chicken and it’s topped with shredded cucumber and sour cream… And you eat it with their own chilli sauce… Very good… And the best part? For less than Tk100, you get a shwarma and a lassi (sweet yoghurt drink) and you actually feel quite full. No worries of overeating there…

After work is even worse…

The weather has gone rather wonky nowadays… Kinda like Singapore weather… One minute it’s extremely hot, and the next minute, it’s raining cats and dogs… Once, Jess & I and Jo (She’s this exchange student from Bolton, called Joanna, but we call her Jo… She has 3 kids… 14yr old Isabelle, 12yr old Sophie and 9yr old Anna… and says ’bloke’ all the time) decided to go to Rifles Square… It suddenly started raining and Jo & I got drenched in the rickshaw… It was the funniest thing when we arrived at rifles sopping wet! Everyone was staring at us… (But don’t worry, Mom… I didn’t fall sick… )

Last week, we went to a meeting of Shadhus and Bauls. They are spiritual gurus and musicians. They play very traditional music using the local instruments like the ektara and the banjo and other things that I don’t know the names of… It was a really beautiful night… No rain there… There was a stage set up for all of them to sit and perform… At times, there would be individual performances… The music is so dreamy at times… And I must say, the light was fantastic… A large majority of the audience were photographers from the local papers, and the Pathshala students… They were having a real field day cos the stage was so well lit… And the organizers, my friend Zaid was one of them, were going around burning a strong that produced a lot of smoke, and creating a really dreamy mood in the entire place… *Pictures coming soon*

Jess went to a dentist here to get her teeth cleaned… And she said it’s the most ‘worse’ (she must say it so it sounds like ‘wuursse?’) experience she ever had in a dental clinic… For one thing, one of the thingys that they stuck in her mouth got spray all over her face and made the sides of her mouth sore for days… On top of that, they chipped her teeth… Good grief… But she took it quite ok… Said she’ll get dentures in future… Cos her mum got them and her smile looks fantastic now…

We got invited to Big Boss’ home last night, and Big Boss’ wife is the sweetest, most darling lady I’ve ever met… She looks really classy and all… But is still very motherly and hospitable… (She and my big boss are so so so in love!) She considers us like her own children… And she said that her home is our home in Bangladesh… When I mentioned how much I liked her place, she excitedly showed me around…

It is the coziest and loveliest apartment place here… They don’t use white light… only yellow lights… (Except in their work rooms..) The living room has nice carpets and cushions so that we can sit on the floor comfortably… It’s also filled with lots of little trinkets from all over the world… And tons of really interesting books… They even have this really lovely filing cabinet that they got made and they even hired a rickshaw artist to come and paint rickshaw designs on each drawer! It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen! The food was great too… And my lady boss would never claim credit for preparing the food herself, she would tell us that it was because of their nice cook that we get such good food… I overate… again…

Don’t even talk about Pathshala… Nothing ever happens there…

When I got back from Singapore, I couldn’t open my closet for 3 days because the keys were locked in the office and Joseph, who has the keys to the office, was on leave… I panicked and did some emergency shopping… heheh… Good thing I left some clothes out to dry before I left and I could wear those as well… The problem was, I had a lot of food from Singapore but I couldn’t cook them because my kettle was in the closet… Irony…

The mangoes on the mango tree had started to grow and everyone has been picking them… They’re all very small and hard… I tried one and it was quite sour… but very crunchy… Thing is, Noyon’s gotten into the habit of calling Jess & I to pick mangoes for him whenever he wants to eat them.. cos he’s too short to get them from the tree… Sometimes, we just pretend we don’t know what he’s talking about…

Abbas and Koli have arrived back in Dhaka to stay for good… And Noyon has a playmate again… I’m not sure if that’s a good thing… cos they make so much noise! But Abbas is cute… He’s actually younger than Noyon but he’s much bigger than Noyon… I think he’s even gotten taller since the last time he was here… Must be because his dad is big… (His dad is Malu, if you have forgotten… A really annoying bloke… )

There’s this other little girl who comes round on Fridays as well… Called Medha… I have no idea who she is and who’s she is… But she’s really cute and drew a nice little picture and gave it to me… I think Abbas and Noyon like her too. Haha…

As for me? Nothing ever happens to me also…

When I arrived back at Dhaka, the first welcome I got was a hit on the head by a luggage that fell from the overhead compartment as one of the passengers was getting his luggage... It smarted at that moment... But the guy was so apologetic, and I didn't want the other passengers to chide him for his mistake... So I just smiled and told him I was ok... While secretly rubbing the bump on my head... No loss though... Not much IQ points to lose.. haha!

Strangely enough, maybe because of the way I dress, people have started to mistake me for a local... From the tribal areas... The people from the Chittagong Hill Tracts look like Thai... and they look like us... One guy at the Airport spoke to me in Bangla, offering to help me with my luggage... until his fren told him that he didn't think I was local... Then the guy turned back and said "bangladeshi na?" And I said "Na..." That cleared it up...

My sister got me a CD to learn Bengali from Singapore… Haven’t started using it… But am seriously planning to… And continue learning the language… Took a break when I went home… Hmm… sounds like what I tell myself when it comes to that teach-yourself-guitar book that I have here… somewhere in my closet…

My new laptop started to crack up the last two days when some of the buttons suddenly stopped working… But I prayed about it, and asked God to fix it for me because I was at a complete loss… After that, it miraculously started working again! As though it never had the problem! Praise God!

I just signed up for a digital photography workshop at Ikon Photo… It’s taught by my Big Boss and costs Tk1200… I’m planning to really make it worthwhile for me… I’m gonna really try to learn a lot from it… Even though danny thinks I won’t because I’m “not that much intelligent”. I’m giving him the cold shoulder treatment for saying that… *evil grin*

Next month, I’m going to sign up for the basic photography course organized by Pathshala… Cost: Tk1800… To improve my techniques and my basic knowledge in photography… Never been very strong at it… And I’ve only started photography what… 6 months ago? Anything would help…

I also signed up for a module in school that just might allow me to go Sri Lanka to do a reportage… But I probably won’t get it… Which doesn’t matter too much to me either… I’m gonna be traveling around Bangladesh and maybe Calcutta after the internship anyway… My fellow Nightbird, Mark is thinking of joining me… If any of my frens is interested to travel… Please let me know… and we can try to arrange something for a bigger group…

Oh… I also might have a chance of getting my pictures published… If the journalist who needs pictures will just call me back or something… oh well… It’s a slim chance… *fingers crossed*

So, you see… There’s nothing much that I can say… Nothing ever happens around here… =)

OFF THE RECORD: Please forgive me for this long blog again... I squeezed in weeks of stories in one entry...

Fade Out...

2005-04-02T22:30:00.000+06:00

Time:9.30pm
Location: Rooftop of Pathshala

I’m wondering “Why is it that the only time I ever sit down to write my blog is either in the wee hours of morning or when the power is out?”

(If you haven’t got it by now, it’s the latter.)

Either I’m so busy with the little mundane things of my life or I just don’t like thinking of the massive task of penning down all the little things that happen to me…

Lots of little things = large mountain of little blog entries to be written…

And I wonder why I never felt like writing my blog for so long…

Right now, I’m just trying to figure out how to break down all the little things into bite sized blog entries… Unlike that horrible hunk of a blog I wrote for Ampfest… Terrible excuse of a piece of written literature… If I may say so myself… All I needed to do, was throw in some photos and a lot of it can be thrown out the window…

*I promise I promise the pictures are coming*

Ok… I’ve decided to take things slowly… So the blog stories are coming one little piece at a time… Maybe together with the pictures…

The power has gone screwy now… We’ve all gotten so used to power cuts that today’s situation was really quite bizarre…

A power cut is just that… A cut.

The lights, the fans, the TV, the computer, everything gets cut so that you are suddenly plunged into a sea of darkness and momentary immobility. Kind of like a funny bone sensation. But this one only because you can’t see and not because the pain at your arm just shot thru your entire body…

But today… It was more like a power fade out… (Any sound engineers out there?)

Seriously! The lights and fans just faded out and back up…Time and time again… Jess & I were watching a show on some queer channel… Hmmm… Wait… Think I’ll back up here… Come to think of it, lots of queer things were happening today… The microwave sounded a whole lot louder today than it normally did… (Jess couldn’t tell the difference, but she admitted she never ever listened to the microwave) The tv channels got scrambled up so Star World was now on channel 3 and not 30… AXN, Discovery, and Cartoon Network were now within the channel 1 – 15 range when it used to be in the 17 - 25 range… HBO had gone missing… Yikes!

Then the power faded out. (conveniently leaving the TV and computer on so that Jess & I could keep on watching our movie-on-the-weird-channel) Shortly after, the power came on again….Then it faded out again… And came on again…

And the computer monitor caught fire…

It just started smoking! Jess saw some flames I think… And we started to worry! We ran out to find Mothi and look for an extinguisher… We found Mothi… But no extinguisher… Good thing the fire just died out…

After that, it became evident that the power fade outs were potentially quite dangerous…

Sidetrack: Just saw a huge mouse running across courtyard of Pathshala… I swear it’s the same one in my room last time…. It’s really big now… Probably 4inches long… But rather cute running around… Think some people might find it gross… But I’ve always been a rodent type of person…

So back to the strange power fade out…

We switched everything off… I had left my aircon on in my room and it survived thru the entire episode… But it wasn’t safe to leave it on any longer… After I had switched it off, a strange Styrofoam type smell came into my room a little later… It was quite evident that the power was weird… Cos when my fan was switched on at low speed, it was going much more like it would at high speed… And some of the bulbs are looking extremely and unnaturally bright…

Yup… Think I was prepared to be perspiring in my sleep all night…

In the meantime, I needed to cool off and I came up to the rooftop to type… My baby (the laptop) can last for about 2.5hrs without a power source… Good enough I think… To do some decent writing… And once that died? I would switch to practicing my guit… No batteries required… heh heh…

Survival? I rather not think that way… In the whole scheme of things, a power failure is really not that big a deal… As long as there’s no fire or anything to burn my room down… I’m quite happy…

Things are looking up though… The unnaturally bright bulb suddenly dimmed… And the lights have come back on in the rest of Pathshala… Probably safe now to go back into my room and have the lights and fans on…

So there you go… One blog story down… A zillion more to go… If I don’t figure out a more effective way to write the rest of my stories, my baby is going to go to bed and I’ll never muster up the energy to write ever again until the next power cut…. And that entry would also probably be about… a power cut… *good grief*

A little peep out of Dhaka

2005-03-30T10:48:00.000+06:00

People are getting worried... I mean... Seriously worried...

There's been no news on this blog for ages....

So just to put all these worried little minds at ease here's my news in brief:

1) I'm alive and well!

2) Went back to SG for a short 10 days... attended my sister's wedding... met up with friends and my supervisor... had lots of fun... ran around a lot running errands for my ppl at Drik... So i was too busy to upload my pics... AGAIN...

3) I'm working... Video Logging for Drik AV... But I'm working from Pathshala so I don't go to work per se... The work is long and tedious and tiring so I seldom have any energy left to blog or do anything but sleep...

4) We're finishing our work in a couple of days time. So maybe then, I'll be able to sit down and blog all the little ideas and funny stories that have been floating around in my head but never had time to get down...

5) Maybe also then, Jess & I will start having our life back again... And maybe go shopping or swimming...

I can hardly wait!

Live photographer

2005-03-13T10:24:00.000+06:00

More photograph opportunites. More sneaky tricks. More shutter happy Gwen.

Danny brought me to another rock band marathon called Live! Still the same bands. Still sponsored by B&H. But the experience was way different.

This time, Danny managed to get us through the sweating jumping rowdy crowds to the very front! That was pretty amazing! If I was on my own, I'm sure I'd have given up halfway... But he isn't like that... Most photographers aren't... But as he called me, I'm an "apprentice".

He brought along his D70 this time, and I was having a really fun time taking pictures and looking at the result immediately. Danny likened me to being a little child with a new toy. And that's good to him cos he thinks photographers should have fun. Good photographers are the ones who have fun taking photos apparently. But seriously, it's very fun! I didn't even need to worry about film or anything because he has a 1Gb memory card!

So we had squeezed our way to the front of the crowds, by saying "please let us pass". Magic of the word "Please". and we found ourselves behind a barrier. The VIPs and the Press were in front of it. But in order to get in, we had to squeeze out of the crowd again and go in from another entrance. So I was satisfied taking pictures behind a barrier, and dancing to the music. (It was Junoon btw! The one we missed the night before. Great music!) Then, we saw a couple of our friends in front of the barrier! In fact, one of them was on stage! Knowing that they could get up there, I wanted to get up there as well! I wanted an up close and personal photo of those musicians!

We squeezed out of the crowd again. 2 guys came along to help to usher me out of the crowd! That was really really sweet of them... We got out safely and then we went to find the entrance to the VIP section. One of the Pathshala students, Murad, met us at the entrance and helped to get us in. He just coolly went up to the security and said "Media". The guy let us all go in. Even though only Danny and Murad had press passes. He didn't bother to check me. They never do. It's the face I tell you. And the camera I was holding.

Now we were at the VIP section. Right in front of the Stage. I took some pictures there and was happy there. But Danny wanted to get me to the stage. Think I was a little freaked out. I didn't think it would be possible and I didn't feel ready to be on stage. Like a lot of people would see me up there. And I wasn't even a real photographer. Just a poseur. I made myself swallow all that negative thought cos Danny was already getting us access on to the stage!

It was easy... Just displayed his press pass and walked in. Before I knew it, I was on stage! Looking at the musicians face to face, taking their pictures. I know I got some really nice shots of one of the cool bassists and another of a lead guitarist. As soon as I got some nice pictures, I'd show them to Danny and Kabir, the Pathshala student who was already on the stage. When we thought we'd had enough of the stage, we went in front of the stage and watched the musicians. I assumed that re entry would not be a problem since we had gone in once already.

Wrongo... There was a little difficulty in re-entry. A policeman tried to make some trouble for us by not allowing us to go into the backstage. I didn't want to make trouble so I just accepted it as that. But Danny wanted to prove a point. He went to the policeman, talked to him very calmly, and in a couple of minutes, the policeman was being apologetic and allowed us free access!

What was that about?

Apparently, Danny went up to the policeman and told him that he is a journalist. In time to come, he would be doing interviews with the government officials. And at that time, he would complain about how badly treated he was by the police. That scared the poor policeman. He didn't have a chance against the nifty tricks of journalists who want to get their way all the time... Think I'm enjoying the life of a real photographer...

Rest of the night was spent taking pictures of other people enjoying the music... including the stage crew! It was so funny seeing stage crew dancing to the music and some of the ladies becoming groupies to the cooler band members... Dan says this is the first time he's seen groupies in Bangladesh... Well well... There must always be a first.

Speaking of firsts, I saw some ladies wearing jeans and a tank top! I think they're either foreigners or they are the extreme minority. It was one group of friends and they all looked like they were really there for the music. Well done! But I think my idea of the adapted Salwar Kameez is more interesting than just wearing black tank tops. And still... no female musicians... Guess that takes more time...

Now, I'm totally hooked on the D70 DSLR. (No wonder Danny was always gushing about it! I'm doing it now too!) The convenience of digital is so evident! I could upload the pictures into my laptop in a jiffy. And I managed to get the hang of the camera very quickly. I'm not usually so comfortable with foreign cameras. But the controls of the D70 are very similar to my own Minolta so it worked like a dream... Can't wait to get my own now... Of cos there's the other thing that I really need to use the D70: A new laptop. One that can access the internet, has enough memory space for me to save my pictures, and allow me to work on photoshop without completely stalling. Maybe I can get those when I get home?? (Mum, Dad, are you all listening in? Hee hee! Just kidding...)

Amp Fest!

2005-03-12T12:00:00.000+06:00

Think yesterday was the coolest offday Jess & I have had in weeks... We went for a day-long Rock Concert/Carnival thingy called "Ampfest"... It was held at the National Stadium at Mirpur... (Reminds me of a smaller version of the Singapore National Stadium.) Although it started at 10am, we didn't arrive until about 2pm. Not that that really mattered. The good bands only performed after we arrived.

It was very cool... We got complimentary tickets to sit at the invited guests sections... Because of the special invites, we skipped the long queues... We managed to take pictures of everything happening even though we weren't from the press... (Cameras weren't even allowed in the stadium!) And I even got to go quite close to the stage... (Closer than most of the audience at least... sitting with the police...) As usual, I promise the pictures will be coming… But dial-up is such a pain!

You must be wondering how we managed to get such a good deal... Answer: Danny.

Danny is the guy who works at Ikon, the one who helped me the night before the BIG REPORTAGE SUBMISSION, the one who bought the Nikon D70 my sister brought from Singapore (that was supposed to be for me... but I don't mind at all... He loves the camera to the end of the world! And his lady boss, Snigdha, got to use it for the Int'l Women's Day exhibition... She's a wonderful lady! But she's fallen sick lately. Poor thing...), and Danny is the one who used that D70 to help me take pictures of me in my green Salwar Kameez.

Dan's got very cool contacts, on top of having a very powerful piece of paper: His Press Pass. The organizer of the Ampfest was his good friend. That's how he got enough invites for Jess & I, and for four other friends of his: Baul, Raymon, Salim & Salim's girlfriend. (They're all new people we met, so don't expect too much info on them for now.)

Everything was an adventure... When we arrived, we sailed past most of the queues but got stopped because Jess & I had brought our cameras along. They didn't allow anyone to use cameras except press. (Danny didn't bring his camera because he wanted a personal day off so he never thought to arrange for cameras to be brought in.) The security wanted us to leave our cameras behind. Or at least leave the batts behind. Jess opened her camera to show that she didn't have any film. And they let us go. Even though I had both batts and film in my camera. (Haha!)

Danny told us that is the trick of the trade. Just go into the events with the camera batts and film kept separately from the camera. Show them you don't have any film or batts and then go in... And you can put in the batts and film once they are out of sight... Now, how cool is that?

Danny showed us another trick. The security wanted to let him go to the press box. But he didn't want to go there. He later told us that it's very boring there and no one ever goes because you can't get any good pictures that way. He told the security that he didn't want to go there. And pretended to make a phone call. They let him come along with us. Chalk up another point for the Press dude!

There was just a tiny little problem with the invited guests sections, the seats are near the stage, but the view is still really bad. We sat down in our alloted sections for a while… To take in the whole atmosphere of the event, and to cool off. But after that, we left the section and never went back.

The stadium was really exciting. First thing that you'll notice is B&H. Benson & Hedges. Brand of cigarettes. It's excellent marketing I can tell you that. They are not allowed to advertise in Bangladesh so instead, they sponsor all these youth events. There were tons of banners around with their name splashed on it, all in yellow & orange (Benson colours). The emcee of the whole program would give little speeches about the sponsor. (Good thing he spoke in English. Or otherwise, Jess & I would have no idea what he was saying and get really bored. His English was quite bad too, but it was better than nothing.) He once talked about the 3 characteristics of B&H. I laughed. I told Jess what I thought the 3 characteristics were: Cigarettes, Cigarettes, & Cigarettes.

The stage was set up on one side of the stadium, boasting a bright backdrop with "Ampfest" (in Benson colours, of cos), and a huge sound system and a few projection screens. Several stalls were set up under tentages. There was food, ice cream and beverages, art, music, fashion and a little information and medical centre. Didn't walk around by myself. There was just too many people there. If I needed to go someplace and the others didn't want to go, I was accompanied by Danny (he became my fixer... journalistic term... person who helps to set up access for a journalist to do their assignment) and Jess would be protected by Raymon and Baoul. Salim took care of his own girlfriend of cos. The couple left after a little while. For their own private time.

There were some very good food stalls. Grill & Chill and Boomers (a music cafe in Anam Rangs Plaza… also sponsored by B&H... also introduced to Jess & I by Danny...) both had stalls there. I recognized one of the vendors at Grill... He's the guy who always served us at the restaurant! He even asked us how we were! Haha! I bought a chicken burger. It was nice but I like the beef burgers better. The Maggi mee stall was surprisingly very popular. There were always very long queues. Either the instant noodles tasted really good or it was cheap. Have a strange suspicion it's the latter.

They also had Igloo ice cream and Movenpick. Jess & I always eat Igloo ice cream so we didn't bother getting any yesterday. It's a very nice brand. Cafe Mango uses Igloo ice cream for our brownies. Our favourite ice cream from the convenience store across the street from Pathshala is the Igloo vanilla one with a chocolate coating on it. The ice cream cake that Danny and Drik Topu bought for my sister's birthday, was also the Igloo vanilla one... Making me drool just thinking of it now.

The art section was very strange. I appreciate art, I love going to galleries to learn about the artists and see the work they do. But I didn't know what to make of all those paintings. They were all done in B&H colours! They were in all shades of orange and yellow. Some of them looked very nice and all. but I was uncomfortable with the stamp of sponsorship and commercialisation that I was seeing through these paintings. Didn't stay long.

Music section had a few Music CD shops. The CDs were a total steal! Tk50 for every CD. and they were all rock bands. Danny bought 4 CDs, and I bought 1. a soft rock group called Subconscious. Danny's promised to let me hear his soon and introduce other CDs of very good Bangla rock bands. In return, I'm going to introduce him to Power Station and chinese music in general He's very interested in those. Did I also mention that he plays the guitar very well? He's cool at that.

There was also a very interesting Karaoke thingy. Instead of singing to a TV screen as you would normally expect, the people would sing to a small live band. It was a very popular corner. I could hardly see a thing with all the crowds around the stall. Was telling Danny that I would invest in a hardy but portable little chair. In a situation like that where I'm caught in a crowd, i would stand on the chair and see above everyone's head and get a cool pic. But i didn't have a chair. I got around it, literally. I went to the next shop, went behind their shelves to peek back into the Karaoke shop. And got a few really cool shots! I emerged from behind the shelves with a huge sense of satisfaction... Danny could tell I was satisfied... and gave me a hi five!

I went to the fashion tents to do a little shopping, bought 2 nice little scarves. Turned out I was just in time for the fashion show! It was one scary experience. We were quickly surrounded. The men were totally excited and were cheering and woof whistling when the female models came out. The catwalk was very high so that none of the men could get up and jump the models or anything like that. I was a little afraid for the models though. The crowds were so rowdy that if they fell off the catwalk, they'd be in serious danger of getting raped or something. I only dared to take pictures because Danny was with me, giving me advice on how to take a good picture in a situation like that. We got caught in a stampede too! Nearly lost my footing and my camera and didn't know what was going on but Danny helped to get us out. I'm quite sure some guy touched my butt in all that, but I couldn't stop to whack him... Getting out was the first priority. Oh well....

Now for the performances. It was a real rock band marathon. Band after band would come up to give performances. (The main problem was the sound. Despite the size of the speakers and the large number of sound engineers, the sound kept going awry. Spoilt the experience a bit.) The two most popular foreign bands, Strings and Junoon arrived amidst a lot of fanfare, in a chopper. When the helicopter came near, Dan & I started running towards the landing area. I wanted to get as close as possible to the chopper. But we were stopped by the flying grass and sand that got swept up by the chopper. I got some shots though. Some when it was landing, Some when it was leaving. I was all poised for the leaving one. Hope it turned out all right.

The crowds last night were fantastic. There were so many guys wearing black teeshirts with the names and faces of famous rock bands and heavy metal bands and the like. Many times you can hear the crowds singing along with the bands. Danny & Co included. At times, during some of the popular songs, guys would start dancing and doing the little train thing and run in circles. I got some good pictures among the crowds. At other times, all of us would go to the top of the audience stands, to look at the whole stadium. Rock music is really alive and kicking in Bangladesh.

I really liked the local bands. I thought the foreign band Strings was ok. Didn't manage to hear Junoon because it was too late. But the local Black and Artcell were nice! LRB lead guitarist was the coolest! His playing is superb! And you know the best part? I was sitting right in front when he went into his solos. I was sitting in front of all the crowds, and I could see him on stage and on the projection screens. That's really good cos the projection was not powerful enough to be seen further away.

Danny managed to get me into that restricted zone on his press pass. The security guard was a little reluctant but Danny assured the guy it would be ok. After that, we just acted cool walking among the police. My foreign face and camera helped too. Made us look like we were journalists on official business. Haha!

I think it's so cool that the Bangladeshis are so big on their own local bands. I don't see that in Singapore. It's also really nice to hear good rock music, even if you don't understand the words. Not that it would make much of a difference. I mean, sometimes I can’t even understand what the English rock bands are singing about. I'm going to seriously learn about Bangla rock bands and rock bands from other countries, and look out for Singaporean upcoming bands. Maybe even do a comparison of their image and their music. That would be cool.

There's one thing that saddens me about the scene. It all seems so testosterone-driven, like rock music is only for men. A lot of the ladies who went for Ampfest didn't look like they even knew what rock music was. They were all dressed in their dainty salwar kameez and were sitting next to their cheyley bondhus (boyfriends), their reason for being there. That discrepancy became very apparent when Strings asked the ladies to sing. First time they did that, the stadium was silent. Only at the second time, was there an audible feminine murmur going through the crowds. When it was the men's turn, the response was thunderous.

I’d like to see more of a female appearance in this scene. Girl rockers, girl bands, girls not afraid to let down their hair and dance and sing to good music. (They’re not uncommon in Singapore. I’ve seen so many of them.) Perhaps it’s the society. Even their dressing makes it difficult for them to get dirty. Most girls don’t wear western dress. They wear Salwar Kameez and Fortuwahs. It makes them look very grown up because of the flowery prints and soft fabrics. I don’t even wear those types. Mine are cotton and I make sure I can still run around in them, the way I would in western dress. A photographer/journalist really needs that kind of outfits. I dunno how my ah mu (my Pathshala mummy) can go take photos in her dainty salwar kameez… Amazing…

I think it’d be really cool if the salwar kameez could be adapted to be more hardy and convenient for girls to rock and dance in. The kind I would readily wear. The cotton types could have cool prints (no flowers) and the ornahs (scarfs) sewn down so that they don’t disturb a guitarist or drummer. Something more suited for a young girl or a young-girl-at-heart. This way, the girls could still look cool and be very much in touch with their culture. But it might not happen for awhile. It seems that when the girls hit their late teens, they are no longer concerned with youth culture; they’re too busy getting ready for adult life… looking out for their future partners and preparing to get married and start a family...

Such a pity I think… Girls would add a different spice to the rock music scene… But that’s just me… I don’t even think girls should marry until they’re 27 at least… There’s just too much to experience when you’re younger… Married life can be experienced later on… Oh well…

International Women's Day

2005-03-09T14:19:00.000+06:00

8th March... International Women's day...

Never knew there was such a thing before. Jess thinks it's cos women in Singapore are liberated enough to not need to celebrate such a day... She doesn't believe in anything that further segregates the sexes. Could be a political thing too... Doubt the Singapore Government wants any Feminist event/riot/demonstration coming into to cause any ruckus in our peaceful little island country. Disrupts the business going ons you see...

But I'm not in Singapore... I'm in Bangladesh... And over here, it's a huge deal... At least in Drik...

All the women in Drik were told to wear Saris on that day because my Big Boss' wife was apparently having a party on the rooftop that day... I didn't feel like it... Just wore my favourite pink Salwar Kameez and wore a matching tip on my forehead... (the tip was a concession already...).. Jess didn't even have a Sari... So we were 2 little oddballs...

And that party thing? Not quite what I expected...

It was an exhibition of photographs taken by many renowned female photographers... followed by a performance/speech/prize presentation on the rooftop of Drik... The photos were quite nice... Not all of them were good... Jess & I had a sneak preview before the official opening so we didn't have to squeeze with the crowds... The performance/speech/prize presentation thing was boring... It was in Bangla and the roof was a little warm... Plus, there was a huge pillar blocking my view... We left early to have cha at Drik Cafe...

So that's Women's Day for you... Think the saddest thing I thought that day, was about the word "emancipation", term used to describe the liberation of women. For women to be free, they are to become more like men! I thought the liberation of women should be for them to be released to be as womenly as they wish... Not beat men at their own game... That's not liberating women... That's oppressing men... hmmm

Ok... Not sure what I'm saying... It's the middle of the workday... After lunch... And I'm feeling sleepy... Ami ghom pach chey...

Something freaky happened on the way to lunch...

2005-03-07T13:10:00.000+06:00

Some people already know about this…For others, this is going to be very new information… Basically, I’m here to provide the facts and the details, crush any worries about my well-being and mental health, and demolish and wrong details that may arise from lack of information… This is the real truth…

I was molested by a rickshaw driver yesterday…

That sounds bad…

I was physically harassed by a rickshaw driver yesterday…

Sounds better…will stick with that one…

Here’s what happened… Jess & I were going for lunch at our favourite hangout place, Mango. We got on a rickshaw. The driver made like he was going to maneuver the rickshaw. But instead of holding the side of the rickshaw or the bars behind his seat, he held my thigh. I didn’t realize it at first because he held my thigh from below. But I saw his hand and got a shock. He let go. I told Jess about it. We assumed it was an accident.

The rest of the journey was kind of ok… But we realized this guy was kind of weird. He asked us which country we were from. We said Singapore. He said that America and Singapore were all very strong countries and were very bad. (Everyone else normally says something nice about the country we are from.).He also says Bangladesh is bad… Nothing pleases him apparently…

Then we arrive at the destination. Jess got off. I was about to get off when he gets off and starts to maneuver the rickshaw again. Before I knew it, he was holding my thigh again! I was outraged and jumped off the rickshaw and ran to Jess… Quickly gave him Tk10 and ran into the café.

At the time, I was terribly shocked and outraged and upset. But it happened so suddenly that I didn’t know how to react to it… Jess later said that she didn’t know whether to help me or laugh at me. She said my expression was funny… But that’s out of point… She thinks I should have slapped him and scolded him and made a fuss… I didn’t want that… I didn’t want to draw attention to myself… I just wanted to hide… We had a long lunch and I managed to get over it…

On hindsight… It’s nothing much…It could have been a lot worse… It could have been anywhere else besides the thigh... I could have been alone… I could have been wearing a short skirt or thinner pants or something… I was wearing thick jeans… It could have happened to Jessica when she was wearing a sarong skirt that showed a lot of leg when she got onto rickshaws…

But it wasn’t… And I’m thankful for that… I know Jesus had protected me and Jess from anything that is more serious… To all who are worried about me: I’m OK! I can still continue in doing my internship here for the next 4 months! =)

It has served as a good wake up call though…To be very alert when I’m living here… Jess & I had become very laxed in that area... Will also try to wear thick jeans as much as possible… (Oh wait, I already do that…)… Of cos, and not wear any outfit that might seem sexy to people here… (At the time, I was wearing a baggy top that did not show my belly or anything… Very decent… Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m a foreigner… I don’t know…) I’ve even learnt to say some very useful phrases in Bangla in case a similar situation arises next time… Like “juta maro po” (hit you with my shoe) and “guy haad diben na” (don’t touch me).

There’s one last thing that I decided to… I decided to forgive the man for what he did… Yes… Forgive... To let go of what he did and stop replaying the scene in my mind… To not feel anger towards him… And to pray a blessing over him and his family… I’m not doing this because he’s right… He isn’t right in what he did to me… But if I don’t forgive him, I wouldn’t be right in my response towards him either… God doesn’t want us to be angry at people… He commanded us to forgive, the way He has forgiven us.

I’m really reluctant to do it… A part of me wants to be angry and look for ways to hunt him down and make him pay for what he did… But the other part of me tells me not to… And it is that latter part that I am listening to… Being angry does no good for anyone, including myself… It’s not worth the time or energy…

I need all my time and energy to prepare an item for my sister’s wedding which is coming up on the 19th of March… Hee!

Noyon’s Birthday

2005-03-06T14:00:00.000+06:00

5th March was Noyon’s birthday… That morning, Rayhana was dressed in a pretty sari and was waiting to catch Jess & I as we were walking out to catch a CNG for work… She anxiously asked us if we were going back to Pathshala for dinner… We weren’t sure… That’s when she revealed that it was Noyon’s birthday and they were inviting us for dinner! The news was confirmed by Mothi who caught us again, after we parted with Rayhana, to tell us that it’s Noyon’s birthday…

Yup… They really wanted us to be there… =)

The timing couldn’t have been better… The night before, Jess & I had gone shopping at new elephant road… We bought a lot of accessories and things… I even bought a necklace and earring set to match my green salwar kameez (it’s made of silk and muslin, I believe… The shopkeeper said it’s silk and muslim… but that doesn’t make any sense.)

The thing is, at one shop, I told Jess that I wanted to give Noyon a toy guitar so that he could play with it, the way he plays with mine… Then I looked up… and saw that they did sell toy guitars there! I bought a very nice black one with glitter on it. Came with a little pick too!

My only dilemma was when I should give Noyon the toy... I didn’t want to keep giving him toys when there was no occasion, I was going to spoil him silly that way… It’s a taste of how I’m gonna spoil all my own kids or my sisters’ kids in future… I even thought I wouldn’t give it to him until I left for good in June… But the birthday was a very cool opportunity to give it to him…

Jess & I came back late from work that day, because we had some video logging to do… (That’s our main work now…And it’s really tedious…) But that was ok… The party started later than that… Noyon came to my room looking very smart with slicked up hair, a nice little shirt and pants… He looked so handsome I had to take pictures of him… Even took pictures of him playing with his new guitar…

The gift presentation was funny too… I took it out of my cupboard… And wouldn’t show it to him… His eyes lit up! He knew that it was for him…And kept on asking me to give it to him… Even voluntarily said please and thank you… The best was, I got two kisses out of him… He really looked very happy when I finally presented it to him.

It was a real party on the Pathshala rooftop! There were balloons and Mothi had a radio on playing some bangla children’s songs. One of the songs on the CD was happy birthday… So we didn’t even have to sing the birthday song for Noyon.

Noyon was the cheekiest birthday boy ever… He blew out the candles before his dad had the chance to take pictures of him… So the candles had to be lit again… He was so excited to cut the cake that he was running around with the knife before the cake was even brought out… Once he cut the first piece, Rayhana took over… But Noyon didn’t have enough… Whenever Rayhana had her back turned, Noyon would go back to the cake and attempt to cut another piece, which he successfully did once. Rayhana had to take the cake away…

But remember… This is Noyon we are talking about… The dirty/nongra Noyon… He was dancing to the music with a plate of cake in his hand… The cake fell on the floor of cos… He picked it up and blew at it, as if that would remove the dirt from it… And attempted to eat it… Good thing someone took it away from him…

After cake, we had dinner… Jess & I had the privilege of dining with Noyon’s family… And have his birthday pulau and mutton curry… It was fantastic! But Noyon spilled drinks on the floor and on the bed… Nothing new… I’m just very amazed by how unfazed Rayhana is by all this… She nonchalantly scooped up all the mess and went back to being the host! Noyon has a cool mum I tell you…

So now, Noyon is 5 years old. An older, cuter and smarter little boy he’s going to be… Hopefully cleaner too… Jess & I have been teaching him to wash his hands… And he’s doing it quite willingly now… Think if we keep it up, he’s going to be very mild-mannered and polite by the time we leave Dhaka…

Strangely, I just thought of Noyon as Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes… if you don’t know about this comic, you should be ashamed and run to the nearest borders to get the whole collection and read it!)… So now he’s normal Calvin… If we succeed, then he’d become the mild-mannered alter ego Calvin. “The physical manifestation of Calvin’s good side.” Cool huh!

A photo shoot

2005-03-03T14:15:00.000+06:00

Think I didn't like being left out of all the wedding frenzy that my sister and my family have been going thru... So i'm hitting back with a vengence... I had my own photoshoot...

Not a big deal really... but it's just funny...

I was told by the wedding planners back home, mainly my sister-who-isn't-getting-married, that I had to take pictures of the dress I was going to wear for the wedding... My sister-who-is-getting-married doesn't like surprises...

The dress, is a lovely olive green salwar kameez made from muslim and silk... Real fancy stuff... Costs SGD$78!! I bought it with my sister when she was over here... We even have nice green bangles to go with it... She couldn't bring it home becak we needed to get it slightly altered... The people at the shoe were very nice to us... I think, it's probably cos very few people actually buy the more expensive items in the shop... I'm currently looking for shoes, and an olive green tip to go with it... (you know... the dot in the middle of the forehead? yup...)

So back to the shoot...

I asked Danny to help me take pictures since he had a digital camera... he offered to help me take the pictures at the studio in his office... I thought that was too much so I got him to just take pictures at Pathshala...

It was a whole lot of fun!

I was only expecting two pictures... But see, Dan is a real professional... And he's passionate about the job... So he took at lot of pictures... from pictures showing the whole dress to portraits, only showing the face...

I was really nervous at first and all... But I relaxed after a bit... We ended up having all kinds of different and funny poses... Like having a veil or just making funny faces... My favourite is one picture where I was pretending to be angry...

Danny was really quite disappointed that I didn't go to the studio... He insists the studio light would show off the details of the dress much better... Oh well... Too bad for him...

Getting more excited about the wedding now... I can't wait to go home and wear that dress... The only problem is that I'll be wearing it in the hot sun... Sheesh...

This one is my favourite picture

End of a Chapter

2005-02-27T23:00:00.000+06:00

The workshop has come to an end. The assignment submitted. The Norwegians will be going back tomorrow morn. And I started working at Drik again today.

Now, why did I start on Sunday? Didn’t the workshop end on a Thursday?

Well yes… It ended late on Thursday… And we had a party on the roof again… Where my ah mu did a very nice Bangla dance, and everyone sang songs in their national tongue. Jess & I were at a loss… We sang a Chinese pop song… At some points, it got very awkward… But oh well… Most of the Norwegians and the Bangladeshis never quite got along…

Friday…. Off day… Couldn’t go to work even if we wanted to… I think I had too much time on my hands… Started thinking… And felt lonely and miserable… Perhaps I missed home? Perhaps I needed to have someone to talk to… I don’t know what it was… I just stole out of my room… Headed to Café Mango… I had a latte and a chocolate brownie with ice cream… and sat down to read for two hours… It was a wonderful book about Psalms 46:10 – “Be still and know that I am God”… I felt revitalized after I read it and prayed in a little corner of Mango… Totally turned my day around…

Saturday was a self declared holiday… Mainly because Jess & I weren’t sure if we were going traveling… We didn’t… Instead, we had breakfast at Mango, I went to get my sari blouse tailored, shopped at Aarong & Prabatana (it’s very cool - 2 storeys of shopping, a bookshop, and a cool café that has live performances on Thursdays…), then went to see pet shops and bookshops with Jess at Kalaban & Neelkat respectively…

A lot of the pets were really sick… Otherwise, they’d gotten so miserable and resigned they didn’t bother moving anymore… We found an owl that wouldn’t stop banging its head on the door of the cage, wanting to get out…It was also very nervous when we bent down to look into its cage… Poor thing… It was going for Tk5000… Jess wanted to buy it and free it… There were some darling little kittens and puppies as well… But they were miserable in their small cages… Sigh… I really wanted to buy a pet… And take good care of it… The bookshops and stationery places were also cool. I bought a maker, a crayon, and some very cool books, like “death of a salesman”… I also bought a 2nd hand Archie for SGD$1.50!!

The problem with having too much time on my hands was, once again, I could think too much… My dear Junior made a concession and called me up to see how I was… That conversation was so precious… We both figured I should start work again soon so that I wouldn’t have that much time to brood… There’s just so much a trip to Mango can do…

So I went back to work…

At Drik, Reza and Amin tot I gained weight… (Uh oh… Sister’s gonna call and find out what happened…) Work-wise, didn’t do much… As usual… But there are new people around again… Two Singaporeans from Epson… Nicholas and Timothy… They’re pretty Singaporean looking I must say… Nick looks like an imitation of Glenn Ong… Rather beng… Tim is just softspoken… I did learn more Bangla from my Publication colleagues… My Big Boss was told about my improvement in Bangla and wouldn’t stop telling Nick and Tim about it… He sounds just like a proud dad really… Oh yes… I avoided the weird guy with the v day incident… Like the Plague…

The other major thing was the Norwegians leaving… I didn’t think it would be an issue… but it was…

It was a lot more difficult than I had thought. I don’t think I knew them that well… Only Bjorn… And that was bad already, I think… I’d gotten so used to having them around. People who come and imprint something in your life… I was feeling lonelier than usual today… Jess had her own cool plans… But Bjorn was a great friend as usual. Together, we like Mad hats… Both of us… that’s how I’d describe him and I…. you’ll understand once I describe what we did...

I went down to Ambrosia to meet them all and have dinner with them. (Had no other plans after work anyway…) Managed to help Linn with her Sari! How cool is that? Linn is one of the 3 Norwegian girls… Linn, Elizabeth, Hilde.. Bjorn & I agreed to hang out on his last evening in Bangladesh… We went to rifles square and bought chocolate…. Meant to do shopping but we both didn’t bring much money… Got on a rickshaw… got playfully chased by some of the beggar boys… because Bjorn was too friendly with them and still didn’t give them any money… Then we ate chocolate on the rickshaw while singing lemon tree… Didn’t quite finish my chocolate though… I gave half of it to a little girl on the street selling peanuts… I didn’t have change to buy her peanuts you see… she seemed happy with the chocolate though…

We went to the lake near Pathshala… Meant to have cha and fuchka… But it was too late… the stall closed… We just sat by the lake, eating sweets… And talked… There was a couple sitting next to us who were very intimate… we found them funny… just didn’t laugh out loud…

Went back to pathshala… Played guitar and sang songs… In fact, I used my lappy to record some of the songs… It’s quite funny… Especially the last song… Don’t look back in Anger… Bjorn is convinced that we’re gonna get famous with that one… I dunno about that… But it’s definitely a cool way to record memories… It’s way funny! (Btw... I have a special song for a certain mousy character who just found her other half... She wanted to learn how to say "giant" in Norwegian... I got Bjorn to record it for her... She'll be getting it in her mail soon enough... Once she tells me which email to send it to... There's another thing... I upped it by one notch for her... I asked Bjorn to record "big friendly giant" in Norwegian... Hope she likes it!)

A month of friendship… And I have 6 songs, 3 photos, and tons of laughs to remember it by… Not too bad I must say…

Think this internship has been about changes… People just keep coming and going… You don’t have much time to get used to things and once you are used to it, they change… I have not been able to settle down… And perhaps that upsets me… But there is one thing that I still hang on to that is always unchanging… My faith… The book I read was not merely interesting literature… It really touched me and was a response to what is happening in my life… It maybe difficult but I keep on going back to that verse… “Be still, and know that I am God”…

You might think that I’m anything but still… That’s true… It’s a constant struggle to be still when nothing else is… But I think that’s the whole point… There’s no challenge to be still when everything around you is… The real challenge is to be still, even though everything else around you isn’t… Once you can do that, you can be still and unshaken in any circumstance in your life… And that is something I really want to see in myself…

Reflections by the Moon

2005-02-23T23:00:00.000+06:00

Ok… I finally decided on what I love best about the power cuts here…

I love the shadows cast by the moon…

It’s the only time you realize how bright the moon can be… And the shadows cast are very very gentle… Kind of having someone looking tenderly and loving down at you…

Yes, I’m a Christian… So, no prizes for guessing who I might be talking about…

But I’m not just talking about Jesus… It’s like your mother or father coming into your room to check on you when you are sleeping… My mother did it when I was very small… She still does it too… I like to peek at her from under the blankets… She always looked so loving and gentle… I wonder how many times a week she does that now… And look at my empty bed… (Ok… Not quite empty… My sisters and I have a habit of throwing the next day’s clothes and every other conceivable junk on any empty space around… And in this case, it’s my bed…)

I’m sure she goes up to my loft at times too… I left a little voice message on a photo frame for my family to listen… Even left a little globe so that they can see where I am… Think my new souvenirs should have got there already… I have a nice silver miniature rickshaw and a small sized pot, with a cover, that the locals use to cook… (My parents should be glad that I only brought home a miniature rickshaw… One of the Norwegians, Magnus, is buying home a full sized one… It costs Tk8,000 - Tk10,000 I heard… I wonder how much hassle it’s gonna be to ship it back… The postage service here is… well… scary…)

Yeap… A power cut is the perfect time to reflect on things that have been happening all this while… (Also, it’s a good thing the power cut came after American Idol… The girls were really good and very pretty! But I like the song Bo Bice sang yesterday… It was ringing in my head this morning… “Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul. I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away.”)

My presentation of my reportage is over now… The Q&A was mild cos my topic was not quite as controversial as some others… Transsexuals and street families and limited access areas got a lot of rap… Abir and Per (the Norwegian teacher) all thought I had improved a lot in two weeks… That felt nice to hear…

Things with Noyon are really good… Sometimes I’m too tired to be all rowdy and boisterous… And he comes to me in a very quiet and mild manner… Like he knows I’m tired… He would speak to me very politely and ask me for my guitar or my laptop or something… It’s very very adorable…

Just yesterday, he came into my room, and asked to play with my guitar… I took it out for him, sat him down on the bed with it… and he strummed it and sang some songs… I sat next to him… cheered him as he sang… and folded my clothes… Once he was done, he gave it back without any fuss…. Wow!

Perhaps it’s because I gave him a bear when my sister arrived with 5… (He keeps coming to my room to see all the other bears I have left, but I remind him he already has one… I think he wants the other bears to keep his company… He wanted to keep his in my room once too…) I’d also been giving him sweets when I remember… He allows me to hug him and carry him now… Sometimes I can sit him on my lap and teach him to write G… the start of Gwen… He doesn’t have the patience to finish the full name…

Ok… He’s still very much a kid even with those quiet moments… Once when he was sitting on my bed, he spotted some sweets my sister left on the table… (Mind you, it isn’t all that near…) He pointed for it… I thought he wanted to play with the laptop and said no… He got off the bed, went to the table and pointed out the sweets… I gave it to him… And he willingly said “thank you” in bangla! Normally I gotta force him to say it before I give him anything…

Here’s one more thing… He likes Schnauzzer… My stuffed toy dog that looks exactly like the real one… Only cuter… I brought it from Singapore and he’s my companion for the nights… Noyon found him one day and liked him a lot… But Noyon knows Schnauzzer is my toy and that he cannot do any damage to it… He would come, find Schnauzzer and hug it… Sometimes he makes Schnauzzer lick my face… Other times he makes Schnauzzer lick his own face… But I would take it back from him after a short while and pretend that Schnauzzer was sleepy… Then Noyon would help me tuck Schnauzzer to sleep… and then creep around my room so as not to wake it up…

It’s a very popular dog I tell you… Both male members of the Nightbirds offered to take care of it for me while I was in Dhaka… They love it… Even made me bring it along when we all went West Coast Macs to study… And they played with it there! In Public! But I disappointed them by telling them Schnauzzer was coming with me… My sister, who’s getting married, was sad to hear I was bringing Schnauzzer along… She kept insisting that there wouldn’t be any room for it… Yeah right… And everytime I had cell in my room, the girls would play with it… It’s the most loved stuff toy dog I’ve ever had I think… And the most well traveled one too… coming with me to Dhaka… I’m sure it needs a bath badly cos this place is dusty…But I can’t bear not having him around for a night…

Ok, enough about the dog…

Just today, I found another lovely place to hang out in my area… It’s called café mango and is very near Pathshala… A ten minute walk max… And it’s very lovely and quaint… Rather bohemian and rustic… They played jazz… And they serve excellent cuppuccino and brownies! I’m going there with my book one day… Maybe on those days when I really dunno what to do with myself or feel really miserable… (I find I get more of those when I’m stressed out)

All I can say is, I’m glad that the reportage is over… I’m going for the presentations tomorrow with no stress… (Other people are presenting…) I’m planning to wear my nice bright pink salwar kameez… The whole thing… with the trousers and all… Maybe even wear my silver bangles… Also, I tried to do some impulse shopping at Banglar Mela on the way back from the place I go to get my negs scanned... I was Tk20 short of buying a nice blue top… The shop was nice… They’re holding it for me so I can just go back to buy it tomorrow… But that really changes the whole concept of impulse buying…

Oh well…

The lights just came on again… Reflection time over…

DEADLINE

2005-02-21T22:00:00.000+06:00

1 reportage, 2 weeks, 13 rolls of film, tons of takas spent processing film, getting contact prints, getting prints and reprints, several hours spent writing and rewriting… And I finished with 6 photos and five pages for my report…

Am I happy with my work? Not completely… But I don’t totally detest it either… Perhaps it could have been better if I could redo the scans, or perhaps have a few more rewrites of my text and captions…. Thing is, for all the things that had gone wrong the night before, I think it was a pretty good work.

First things first… I was stood up by the founder of Surovi… I made an appointment with her a few days before… woke up early to meet her… and she never came… Good thing I found the girls that I usually talk to in school… I spent time with them at school then went with all of them to visit one of the girl’s homes…. But while I was out, something bad happened…

I had sent some pictures to be scanned by one of the drik ladies, Molly. I gave her my final edit with some extras. But it turned out that I was only supposed to give my final edit and my big boss found out… He wanted to help me edit but they realized I was not around… I got scolded by Joseph for submitting too many pictures when I got back.

Was totally devastated cos I didn’t want to delay Molly’s work or make her do too much. I actually went around moping and feeling guilty… I started talking too fast and that’s when Danny and Drik Topu had to come and console me… Even my big boss noticed that I was upset and gave me a hug to comfort me… (That was really cool! He’s a very fatherly figure in Pathshala and now I understand why…)

I was running around like mad yesterday… My big boss finally helped me to edit my story. He helped me choose the final 6 pictures… I would have liked a few more and I didn’t like two pictures that got chosen… But they made sense as a story so I left it at that… Problem was, 1 of the 6 was not in the list of pictures that Molly was to scan for me…

I had to go down to Ambrosia to meet Bjorn who was helping me with my photoshop work. But I couldn’t do that until I’d scanned the extra picture and the negatives came back from Molly only at seven. Turned out, all of Molly’s scans had terrible scratches and dust particles. That made it difficult for photoshop…

While I was at Ambrosia, I discovered that one of the pictures that Molly scanned was not the one that I chose… She had scanned a similar one that was not as nice… I had to get a ride on Danny’s bike to get back to Pathshala to scan it. More trouble there. I tried using the scanner but I didn’t get the right settings and the scans came out too small… Before I could get a good scan, Mothi came to close the room. I had to get Danny to bring me to his office Ikon Photo, (very near Drik and very closely affliated as well.) Then I finally got the picture scanned…

And it was back to Ambrosia to get the photoshop work done. Bjorn was a total darling… He was really helpful… If not for him, I would not have finished my pictures quite so quickly…I owe him some good chocolate for his work though… Once the photos were done, it was midnight… And I took a rickshaw back on my own…

~The following is Noyon’s typing. He came in midway while I was writing this and wanted to add his two cents worth~
Vbcv vx c vc fcfcfttghuity890-=]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]ASDFGHJKL;’PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 9IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBNVBXCB
~End of Noyon’s typing~

Back at Pathshala, I had to do all my writing… It was quite ok except for the fact that I was falling asleep and I’d started experiencing a terrible tummyache… I managed to stay up and finish my story and captions at about 5.30am… But I couldn’t take it after that… I had a method report to hand up and I was only half done… Jess made me go and sleep and promised me to give me a morning call at 8am…

~More of Noyon’s typing~
gglkfvihrfvihyfycfroiwoieoiowewieowdeueyuui8 fur8ffuryuffufyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudsdddddddddddddddddddddddh b x bbbcbxbnnmmmmmxxxzzzcccvvvvbbbbnnnmmm m nm
~Truly the last of Noyon’s typing~

It was the strangest sleep I ever had. All the things that I’d done and thought about that evening were swimming around in my head… I even had the vaguest idea that I’d woken up already… But then I heard Jess knocking on my door and woke up… Again… So the first one was just a dream.

I continued working at 8am and managed to finish everything by 10.30am… 1½hrs before the deadline… Mind you, I’m a real procrastinator and I was not used to finishing my work way before the deadline… Yes, 1½ hrs before deadline is very early for me… I usually finish 10mins before, or hand up my work late… So the effect of ending early was that I started worrying that something would go terribly wrong before noon… I was actually very reluctant to hand up the work that early… I just sat around waiting for someone to tell me that there was something seriously wrong with my work… Waiting for the other shoe to fall…

Don’t ask me why I felt that way… It was so bad that I felt it way after I handed up my work… I handed up at 11.40am… Probably because of Joseph’s scolding yesterday… Anyway, when I handed up my work, Joseph was all… “Thank you thank you thank you!” It was in a nice manner… Everyone else had not finished their work you see… And Joseph was under a lot of pressure… Felt quite sorry for him…

In the end, nothing terribly wrong turned up… Just that I’m not too happy with my edit… Abir chose an edit for me that I liked better… When I can muster up the patience to do some uploading, I’ll upload all the different edits… There’re four completely different versions…

So what’s gonna happen to the people I met at the school? Well, I’m planning to visit them when I’m free… Will be giving them some photos I took… The Director asked for them and offered to pay me back for it! I have a few home visits to make that I pushed to after my submission… Figured that I wouldn’t have the time before… Also hope that I won’t forget their names…I have trouble remembering names… "nam muney tagbe na"

Super Sister

2005-02-18T10:27:00.000+06:00

You know Superman, Superwoman, Super Heroes of all sorts... But you haven't met Super Sister... To be exact, MY Super Sister...

Ever since she got here, she's swept up my room, my closet, my entire life!

She's tidied up my table so that I have room for my lappy and space for other things as well... Before that, I couldn't see the table top at all... And she managed to locate my two missing rolls of 400iso film... It was just on the table but I couldn't see them...

She came and did tons of washing... The washing I neglected because of my assignment... In my defence, I didn't let her do everything... While she went on a boat trip, I cleared out quite a bit of washing myself... She just came back and took over from where I left off...

She kept all my clothes neatly so that there's a system where I can see everything I own and not have to keep digging to see what clothes lie beneath... Mind you, there were some things that got buried so deep I forgot I brought them...

I brought her to Surovi yesterday... And because it would be too early to have breakfast at Pathshala, since Peter wasn't in yet, she got up early, and prepared hot drinks for me... As a kind of breakfast...

She did it again this morning... It's Friday so Peter's got a day off... She got up early and made instant noodles and eggs for breakfast before going for a day tour...

We went shopping together yesterday... And I got tons of new clothes... I got Two sets of Salwar Kameez (think my other sis is not gonna be surprised to hear that one of them is bright pink), two Salwar tops, a pale purple Rajshahi Silk Sari and lots of little souvenirs that my sis will bring home for me and keep in my loft... Silver things as usual... (Still can't find the sari for my sister's wedding though... Worrying...) We shopped from New Market to Aarong... Which is a very long stretch... I walked till my legs felt like they were going to break... But I'm very excited about my clothes...

It's been really nice having my sis around... Someone I can talk to at times... Other times, someone I can hug... (Even with her protesting)... Most of the time, I'm just watching her as she tidies my things, nags me like a real Mummy, and as she scuttles around making plans for herself and for me... I believe she'll make a fine Mum... Just like my Mum...

Think I'm gonna miss her so bad when she leaves... I can't even send her off because I have an appointment for my assignment... Argh! There is an upside though... After she leaves, it will only be a month more before I will go home to my other sister and the rest of my family... For a week... A Precious Whole Week... I can hardly wait!

Living Up Dhaka NightBird Style!

2005-02-16T18:20:00.000+06:00

A Night Bird will always be a Night Bird no matter where that Night Bird might be… Why do I say that? I find myself always wanting to go out at night… Used to be easier with Mark & Ivan… I didn’t quite know where to go over here and what time places close… On top of that, there’s no car to get around in… Just a lot of rickshaws that never want to go where you want to go… Otherwise, they wouldn’t go there for the price that you want…

Despite that, I have found that it is possible to be a Night Bird in Dhaka… I started out by bringing along a trusty local who thinks everywhere is safe… Topu… And no wonder for him… He’s excellent at making snide or sarcastic remarks to people who pester him… while still smiling… Ouch… But you know, when someone dares to say that everywhere is safe, hanging out becomes a mission to see exactly how he keeps the muggers at bay… (useful talent)

We went to New Market to look around one night… I love all the stuff they sell… Stationery, toys, clothes, books, cutlery, household items… It’s like a gigantic open air shopping centre… I bought a lovely little something for my mother… I just know that she would love it…

Once the Norwegians had a party and we went over to their guesthouse… We had such a great time chatting that we didn’t leave until after one… Afterwhich, Jess, Topu, Mumit and I squeezed into one rickshaw to go back to Pathshala… The roads were very nice and peaceful…

On several other occasions, we just hired a rickshaw and went around sightseeing… I went to Old Dhaka and around Kalabagan area at night already… I remember seeing the stars in sky… There was so many of them… I leaned back on the rickshaw to look at them properly… The bumping of the rickshaw going over the bumps on the road just added to the whole mood…

But there's just something about going around on your own that doesn't quite cut it when you are out with other people... So Jess & I have started venturing out on our own too... We went to the book market last night and had a look around... Too bad we couldn't stay long because of a power cut...

In fact, I'm bringing my sister to New Market tonight! Think it's going to be very fun indeed... She promised to shop for clothes for me... Cos I don't have enough clothes and I don't have the time to get more...

I expect Jess & I will be going out on our own more often because it was so fun... Besides, Topu's perspective of Dhaka at night has rubbed off on us... And I'm sure the two of us can handle anything that might come our way... With our improved command of the language and our greater familiarity with the roads and back alleys...

I’m the most excited about it… It's real Nightbird activities… Once we find ways to fit drinking cha in...

Spring in Dhaka

2005-02-16T17:34:00.000+06:00

The 13th of February was the first of Spring or First Falgun. The cold spell is finally over and all the lovely sweaters and long sleeved shirts that came in my parcel are officially unwearable. According to the Headmistress of Surovi, ladies wear bright yellow or orange saris on this day. Indeed, many of the ladies were wearing bright yellow and orange saris that day. Even Rayhana, Mothi’s wife. Really livened up the place.

But neither the scorching sun nor the bright yellow saris were any match for the one thing (or person rather) that arrived together with Spring… My sister… It’s very exciting when you see someone you love right in front of you… Especially when you haven’t seen her for the past one month… She arrived in her bright pinks and her warm smiles… The first thing she said to me was “Wow! I can’t tell if you you’ve gained or lost weight.” (It’s a good thing cos I have a wedding to attend in just over a month’s time…)

With her, came lots of perks. She brought me two pairs of slippers, one that I always wore back home and a new pair that my mother bought for me! She brought food, tons of food, my favourite white bag and some more clothes… Noyon got a nice stuffed toy too (Which he dirtied immediately)…Think I got too much stuff… Going to go down to Drik one day and give presents… There’s one thing I’m not sharing though… The box of homemade pineapple tarts that my mother freshly baked before my sister left… It is such a joy and comfort to have that to eat…

That was quite a nice start to Spring… Another nice start to Spring was the welcome I’d been getting at Surovi… I’d started visiting the home of Tumpa, one of the sweetest, and cleverest girls in class 8… Her mother thinks of me as a daughter! Haha! I’d been showered with food and snacks and flowers by the other kids in school… The teachers have been very friendly and invited me to have tea with them… My sister asked me to bring them down to the school cos she liked the pictures I took of them… We’re going tomorrow…

Jess & I also rediscovered Hopscotch yesterday… She got a sudden urge to play it… So we ran to buy chalk, asked Joseph for permission to draw on the floor, (promising with all our heart that Noyon would not get his hands on any chalk) and we started playing… It’s surprisingly fun! We made all sorts of silly rules to make it more difficult… It’s great exercise too!

There have been some unpleasant things though… I burnt a dustbin by accident… I’m not a smoker, no good with fire and had always listened to my teachers to not play with matches… Until curiosity got to me yesterday… I was absolutely guilt-stricken about the dustbin… Mothi was just pleasantly amused… Must have thought… “What was this silly Singaporean thinking??”… I made Jess take away my matches in case I burnt something else…

On V Day, someone at Drik professed his love for me… Which totally freaked me out… So disgusted that I don’t want to mention his name ever! I had absolutely no interest in that person or any other person here… Never will too… Don’t even know how he got the idea that I like him… I only talk to the guy at work… Never anywhere else… It’s not even like I knew him very long… What was that guy thinking???

And I’d started to see a side of the people here that I never saw before… People here have two faces and I’d only been seeing one… The other one is really not quite so pleasant… It’s their inner self… The complicated one with lots of weird ideas… The side that makes you realize that you can’t quite trust them…

I was quite upset to learn about such things… Very upset in fact… Jess & I were utterly disappointed… I’m very trusting by nature and I like to think that I can trust people… When even that is not possible, it just seems so upsetting… I don’t understand why people can’t be simple and honest and trustworthy… Call me naïve or idealistic… Simplicity is the easiest and most pleasant way to live…

Don’t worry… I’m ok now… Got over the initial shock and I’m learning to change the way I do things… It’s taught me not to take things at face value and to be very careful about people I meet and how I talk to them and treat them… I realized that this knowledge has started to make me a little more critical… (Not cynical though… I’d hate to be cynical at 22…) Critical in assessing the things people say and do and exploring possibilities of an alternate meaning or motive… Think that would come in handy wherever I go… I’ll bet people who are in the corporate world are just as two faced and complicated…

Even then, I think I still look out for a glimmer of hope… I read somewhere that hope is the denial of reality… Perhaps… But I think real hope comes when you have considered reality… Have I considered the reality of the people here? Yes… For a full week while this whisper was silenced… Do I still have hope? Yes… I refused to think that everything had hit rock bottom… I refused to believe that there was no person I could trust any longer… And that my friends could no longer be friends… That’s why this place was quiet… There was a battle within me between the depression of seeing the worst in people and the hope that wanted to come through…

Hope won… That’s why there’s life in this Heart again…

It’s not in people that I’m trusting now… It’s in Jesus… I don’t think I dare to trust anyone here for a while… So I’m trusting in Jesus to bring me through a place that no longer seems quite so friendly… Also learning to depend on myself… (I’m amazed by how independent I can be…)

Perhaps, after trusting in Him, I will find it easier to trust other people again… Within reason of cos… I don’t think I want to have another misunderstanding like that horrible one on V Day… Maybe I could start telling people I’m married and my husband is living with me in Dhaka… (Jessica’s saying that to strangers) Hmm... No… That would be lying… Maybe the next time before I come to Dhaka, I’ll make sure I’m married… Yup…

Surovi

2005-02-10T10:05:00.000+06:00

That’s the name of the charity school that I’m covering for my reportage… The story is about Charity schools that are not a product of NGOs but that were started by Bangladeshis for Bangladeshis. Surovi is really name the NGO that is taking care of this group of schools… But the schools have no other name… And to make things simpler, I’m just featuring one school… The one that I take pictures at is the one at Dhanmondi Pach (five)… Very near Pathshala...

It’s a very cool school… Madam Syeda Iqbaln Mand Banu (or Mrs Khan) started it in 1979 in her own home. She found children from slums, on the streets, working as domestic help and personally taught them. There was no classroom in her home compound so the students were taught in the open lawn of her home. The school is now one of 19 schools throughout Bangladesh. Most of the new schools have proper classrooms and facilities, but in this school where it all started, the students still have lessons on the lawn.

This is how the school works… It starts from baby class to class 8… Baby class to class 5 have 3 sessions of lessons each day…2 hours 30 mins… (The kids only attend one session) From 8am to 10.30am, 11am to 1.30pm, 3pm to 5.30pm… They have 3 subjects each day… For class 6 to 8, their lessons stretch from 8 am to 1pm… Only one session… Every class has about 30 students…

I've been shooting them for the past few days with Topu as my temporary translator... He's got his own assignment to do too... So I'm on the look out for another translator...

When I first started shooting these kids… I dunno what I was expecting… But I was definitely worried… I didn’t know how having a language barrier would affect my ability to work with the kids…

It did affect me… I was awkward and weird… Thank goodness for Topu at the beginning… He was great with the kids… He made friends with them right away… And that helped me to warm up to the kids and vice versa… cos I could only say a few words to the students and ask for their name and their age… some of the kids were so young that they didn’t even know their own age….

But it got better as I started to recognize some faces and names… I also picked up the pace of my bangla knowledge… Crash course you might say… So that I could start asking the kids if they liked something… (Useful… Since the kids were receiving uniforms and shoes on the first few days that I was there…)

And things are still looking up… The kids started plucking bougainvillea branches with flowers and giving them to me and Topu, as a symbol of our popularity… At one point, we were comparing to see who got more flowers… He won… Then one of the girls from class five came to me and drew henna on my left hand for me… In pen… It was a really pretty design but got washed off real quick too… Sad…

Perhaps the kids will get more familiar with me as time goes by… I dunno… I really hope to be able to do my assignment on my own eventually… without Topu’s help as translator… That would be exciting…

Peace like a River

2005-02-09T22:00:00.000+06:00

Okok… Lousy title… I just wanted something to start this blog on the River Buriganga… (What it should have been: The last time when I said I went down to a river and had a boat ride with the Pathshala and Norwegian students… I made a mistake… It wasn’t the Bangsi River… It was the Buriganga River… If they are the same thing, I wouldn’t know… The Lonely Planet map of Dhaka on page 117 is really pathetic…)

So, since the Norwegians arrived, I’ve been to Buriganga 5 times! That’s plenty considering that they haven’t been here for very long… Am I an expert on the place? I should be… But I don’t really think so…

It’s just not so enjoyable when you go to a place knowing that you have to do an assignment if you know what I mean… Killjoy… One thing I definitely enjoyed… The boat rides… I love the movement of the boat as it crashes against the waves… Sometimes splashing up at me… (Fine as long as my camera stays dry…)

The first time I went there on assignment, the weather was perfect! It was cool… And we could see the rosy sun as it set… It was a wonderful backdrop for all the pictures that we took… Think postcard pictures…

I know quite well that with the assignment in mind, I did not concentrate on what was going on around me… I was just thinking of what stories I could do… I decided between boat making, bamboo factory, and colours by the river… (I chose boat making in the end…but the final pictures were not up to scratch… oh well)

The people situation was also not very pleasant… They kept gathering around us, making it difficult to take any pictures… Cos there would be crowds of people in every shot… I couldn’t even sneak up on people because the crowd would shout to them and make them notice me... Other times, they would ask for pictures to be taken of them… Which is plain annoying… I was quite stressed on my first trip…

But I watched Kakoli as she took pictures… She really spoke to them and explained to them what she needed to do… She would take pictures of them to please them… then return at a later date to give it to them… She also bravely ushered the people out of the shot as they started to crowd the frame… I tried out myself and it really worked! (Aside from the explaining bit… Langauage barrier…)

It’s also quite interesting to watch as people wash up on the edge of the river… The water might be black and full of unknown disgusting objects… But it’s still a cleansing agent… I don’t understand why… I watched as one lady washed her pots… then herself (always covered at the right places)… and lastly her kids… Her kid was very reluctant to shower because the water was so cold! That was a beautiful picture… A really beautiful picture…

But my last trip to Buriganga is the one where I really enjoyed… It was after the assignment was over… I went on a boat ride in the evening with Topu and Mumit… and it was great… We were just talking… and singing… (Mumit caught on to the song “Peace like a river”… Seriously!) I had time to really breathe in the fresh air… Admire the things on both sides of the river… Have a little R&R…I laid down on the boat and just looked at the stars… (love doing that…) Then we got stopped by river patrol… Apparently it’s cos Topu looks weird… I think it’s cos I’m foreign… And I’m with two guys… (Could be hijacked for all they know, you see…)… But nothing bad happened to them…

The only thing that made the trip less pleasant than the previous ones… The fact that there are a lot more mosquitoes after dark… yup…

Buriganga… I don’t think I really know much about it… (I’m ashamed… I really am… Maybe I’ll do more research on it…) But I have a feeling that I’m going to go back there a lot more… There’s nothing quite as effective in clearing your mind as a boat ride… And it really beats the air on Dhaka streets…

A visit to the Armenian Church

2005-02-09T20:00:00.000+06:00

The irony of the whole thing… The only Armenian in the entire church and in the entire Dhaka is the father of the church… I dunno… can you really call an Armenian church an Armenian church when no one who goes there is Armenian?

Oh welll it’s been there for the longest time… That’s why it still stands… in the middle of old Dhaka… Opposite to the building that Topu used to live in… It’s his favourite place in the world (the church… not the building…) so he brought Mumit and I there to visit…

Churches always give me a very peaceful feeling… Even with all the graves around in this one… Could I call it the Peace of God? I don’t know… It was a very pretty church though... With a bell tower and the whole place nicely painted beige... A very traditional looking place... With lots of detail on the walls...

A few things struck me as I went to visit this church… There was one epitaph that had the most touching poem written on it… I copied it down for the blog… It was the grave of a man who died when he was only 24… and his fiancé erected the epitaph…

“As I loved him, so I miss him
In my memory, he is near
Loved, Remembered, Longed for always
Bringing many a silent tear”

This was the first part… It’s the second part that I love…

“Weep not for me my sweetheart dear
I am not dead but sleeping here
I was not yours but Christ’s alone
He loved me best and took me home.”

Another grave had the famous verse from Job… (Don’t ask me how I remembered that it was from Job… Think God brought remembrance of it to me the moment I read it)

“The Lord hath gave and the Lord hath taken away.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord.”

This one struck me… It takes so much faith to trust God in times of diffculty and problems! I took the opportunity to explain to Mumit and Topu what it meant… Even the story of Job… Mumit loves this verse… Topu loves the epitaph that I wrote earlier…

The last thing that touched me was inside the chapel… Been reading about the building of the Tabernacle of God in Exodus… And in the chapel… There’s one area where I was not allowed to step in… Like the holy of holies… Looking at all the utensils and things, I remembered the bronze and silver and gold mentioned in the Bible to build all the utensils for the Lord…

I suddenly felt a real respect for the place… so it’s Catholic and it has pictures of the last supper and of the crucifixion… (I’m vehemently against idolatry and anything that might cause people to worship man-made things…) But then… They really love God and Jesus his son… That counts for something…Their faith… Their obedience to the Word…

And seriously, stepping into that place has made me feel better than I have in weeks… Like a part of me feels at home… Topu asked me if I’d go back there… I said I would… Perhaps the Lord will speak to me more the next time too! =)

Birthday Parcel!

2005-02-08T19:53:00.000+06:00

I once thought it might happen… But I didn’t expect it to really happen… After all, it was supposed to arrive in 2 weeks, not after 3 weeks…. My parcel arrived on my birthday!!

I only got the parcel today… But it arrived yesterday according to the people at Drik… And the best thing is, I didn’t even need to go down to GPO… Topu paid the guys Tk25 and they delivered it down to the office! I went to the office to accompany Jessica and I got a birthday present instead!

It is one very heavy parcel I tell you… There were tee shirts, pants, socks, a lovely Polo Ralph Lauren jacket, a shopaholic book (which I already have and read and left at home… but now I can read it while I’m here…), tons of chocolate, moisturizer, photos of my mum with a new haircut (Mummy seems to have aged a bit…), picture of my sister while she’s posing for her wedding photo (my friends and I agree that is a very nice picture… Did Yeechin take it? Can’t wait for the actual pictures… I want a copy of it in digital!), and I haven’t even mentioned the heaviest item in the box…

My family’s love…

They packed all the love they could fit into my parcel… The entire box was filled with it! Every little crack, every corner, in every item placed in it… My mother and sisters must have painstakingly filled up every space with all the love fit to pack…

And since love cannot be seen immediately and they didn’t want me to miss it, they wrote me a card… A simple Me to You card in the silver envelope… And a message from every one of them… How come Yee Chin didn’t write? He’s family too… (That’s just for him… I know he reads my blog too… Hi there!)

It’s so nice to receive it on my birthday… One of the things that 22 brought I guess (see previous blog)…

If I could beam myself home for just 10 minutes, I would run to my family, hug every one of them real tight and give them two kisses each… One on each cheek… for balance…(even da jie who doesn’t like physical affection) And tell them…

“Xiao mei loves you very much!”

Birthday? Whatever…

2005-02-07T23:30:00.000+06:00

Someone left me a rose on my door…

Seriously! I have no idea who did it… But it could be anyone from Pathshala… They’re all a bunch of jokers… It could be Sumon who calls me “Dadi”(or Grandmother), Murad & Danny who think I’m preggers (it’s just the fat..), Topu who’s ridiculous or Mumit who’s good at looking innocent while making fun of you… the poker face type… Could even be one of the quiet ones like Kabir…

But that’s just one of the nice things that happened to me…

I got several very sweet e-cards, emails, smses and MSN msgs from home wishing me happy birthday… My SB sent me a sms with a picture that says “I brought a flower for your birthday”… Maybe the rose came from her?

Here’s a funny incident… One of my guy friends, who didn’t realize that I was overseas, called me and wanted to send a cake over to me… I told him that the cake wouldn’t make it… Cos I am in Bangladesh and it takes over 2 weeks for any parcel to arrive… He asked me if I was kidding… I’m sure the readers of Whisper know better…

The Norwegians sang me a Norwegian birthday song during class… It is the funniest birthday song I ever heard! Loved it… Especially their expressions while they were singing… Think they were enjoying themselves springing this surprise song on me… I’m making a recording of it before I go home…

Kakoli, my "ma" in Pathshala, bought me a birthday cake… and I cut it cake on my own bed… With Jess, Kakoli, Rajiv (Pathshala one), Lars and Murad… It’s a really nice chocolate cake… Better than most of the cakes I’ve eaten so far… My “ma” has good taste in cake…

Syeed (actually I discovered the correct spelling is “Sayed”) from multimedia dropped by Pathshala and asked me if I wanted to have dinner! I was surprised that he remembered… So I went for dinner with Sayed, Jess, Lars and Rajiv… Had a beef kebab roll at La Bamba…

The rest of the evening was just quiet… Spent it chatting with Rajiv and Jess (poor Lars had a tummyache…) And I liked it that way…

Sure, birthdays are special days, but it’s not good to make everyone do everything you want just because it’s your birthday… Like dictating where I want to go, where I want to eat, what I want to do… That’s just selfish… I was quite contented with surprise smses and Norwegian birthday songs… Didn’t want everyone to have to pander to me…

In fact, it seems wrong to want so much attention… I don’t even feel any different from yesterday… It could just be another day… So I’m now 22 and well into adulthood… But I don’t need too much fanfare and such… Think an age is not something you turn into… It’s something you grow into… I don’t become 22 because it’s my birthday… I become 22 when I experience another year of challenges and experiences… In fact, on my 22nd birthday, I felt I’d finally become 21… The new age tag 22… is just the beginning of my stage of my life where I will become 22…

I’m not sure if I make any sense now… But the gist is… Birthdays are really nice to have… Presents and cakes and things are nice too… The most important thing however, is how you are going to live the year when you are 22… And who are the people you are going to know and love and bless in this year… It’s been nice being 21…At the start of adulthood and all… Made some new friends… Made some old friends… Learnt a little more, grew a little more… I’m sure I’m more mature than when I was 20…

I can’t wait to see what 22 is going to bring…

World without Boundaries

2005-02-07T14:00:00.000+06:00

I decided to pen down this entry because of 3 year old Noyon… In case you don’t know who that is… It’s the housekeeper’s son…

Through our constant interactions over the past month, I think we’ve developed a certain understanding that does not involve language… After all, he doesn’t speak English… And I don’t speak Bangla… At least not enough to understand him…

So, whenever he talks to me, I don’t understand what he’s saying… but I understand his gestures… And when I respond accordingly, he gives this huge grin on his face… Like when he was jumping off the steps and wanted me to join him… After my first jump, he was so excited! Other times he asks me to play badminton with him or with his opponent because he wants to see how we play… I’m a real softie when it comes to kids… I give in everytime… I’ve played badminton and cricket with him and with anyone that he asks me to play with… It totally cracks him up when I lose…

I think he feels the same way about me too… Me and my expressions… He doesn’t know what I’m saying… But he knows exactly what I’m trying to tell him… Whenever I give him an instruction in English, he can figure out what I’m saying… Sometimes he does what I want him to do, other times he responds in the exact way that I don’t want him to... Little Rebel… Once the guys told him to hit me and I told him not to listen to them.. in English… He happily said to the others that he didn’t understand what I was saying cos he doesn’t understand English… And then he ran back to hit me! Come on… When a cheeky kids does that… It’s just an excuse to hit me in spite of what I’m telling him… he’s really smart at that…

Once, I bought him a skipping rope because I happened to see them hanging at a stall… He saw me coming back with shopping bags… And kept saying things… And pointing to the bags…When I took out the rope and gave it to him, he was elated! I could tell he did not expect to get anything for himself… He just wanted to see what was in the bag…

I do make an attempt to learn some Bangla to be able to give him some directions and say nice things to him… I’ve learnt to say “good boy” (bhalo cheyley), “sit down” (borsho), “come here” (ekhane asho), “well done” (shabash), “what are you doing?” (tumi ki kortey so?), “what’s that?” (eta ki?), “who’s that?” (eta kay?), “I love you” (ami tomake bhalobashi)… It helps…

Maybe he knows that I’m making an attempt to talk to him… Cos we’re much closer now than before… Sometimes he wouldn’t even let me get out of Pathshala because he wants me to play with him… It got really bad once when he bit my shawl and wouldn’t let go… Topu had to scold him to get him to release it… Poor baby…

He’s really dirty though… from playing in the dirt and not being grossed out by anything in the drains, on the road or anything… Never fails to get dirt on me… I get it by carrying him, hugging him, talking to him, standing near him, standing far away from him… His hands are really dirty and he puts everything into his mouth… It’s amazing how he never falls sick…

For the next few months I expect I will be playing a lot more with him… And probably buying him some more clothes and toys… From the looks of things, more clothes would be good or his clothes are going to get really tattered from his rough play and from constant washings… He has this nice blue jacket that is warm but can’t be zipped… (Speaking of jackets, once when I was wearing a jacket that wasn’t zipped, he came along, fitted the zip properly and zipped up my jacket for me! Is that adorable or what?)

Jessica calls Noyon her baby…But really… He’s everybody’s baby… The Pathshala students adore him, the Chitroshala people love him, and every foreigner that has stepped into the premises of Pathshala love him… This intern included…

“Noyon, Ami Tomake Bhalobashi”

Turning 22

2005-02-07T01:00:00.000+06:00

It’s a strange thing… Having a birthday when you’re so far away from home… It feels different…

I got my first birthday sms at 10pm Dhaka time from my “mama”… (it was midnight at Singapore...) It came in while I was having cha with Mumit… One of the Pathshala guys… Yeah… It was really sweet… Thing is… Mumit’s birthday is the 6th… So, interestingly, we have the same birthday for about 2 hours!

So far, 22 hasn’t been too bad… I visited Mumit’s home just now… Cos he was going home and asked me if I wanted to come along… (They are all very hospitable) I got to have a bit of his birthday dinner! And I couldn’t help watching the telly… It was a hindi movie with Sharuk Khan… Good grief… He’s almost 40 but he was playing the cool/popular/good-looking teenager who gets the pretty girl… I hate to sound bimbo… But I actually found it quite fun to watch… The whole show is very colourful… And they always have the usual musical style thingy…

Before it was even close to my birthday, Bjorn gave me a pre-birthday celebration… We ran across the road to the baker… Bought two slices of cake… And ran back to Pathshala to eat them… No candles… No fuss… Just unbearably sweet cake… He even sang me a birthday song… “Happy Birthday to you Tomorrow”… That’s just like him…

He’s been really sweet to me since we got to know each other… Always the one to laugh with, and share every little silly confidence with… A very good natured and jovial person… Never takes offence at anything… He isn’t hiding anything either… He’s just honest… He plays the guitar too… When he found my guitar, he started playing it… And we even discovered songs that we both know and were singing at the top of our voices… Haha!

In honour of the Nightbird tradition, I went out at night… Just to look at how the streets were… I wasn’t alone… Topu came along… (They all have this impression that girls shouldn’t go anywhere alone… That’s how I ended up going to Mumit’s house too…) I was relating to him stories of the Night bird activities… And he looked at me and said… You miss home right?

Yeah… Maybe more than I have in a couple of weeks…

Things had not been going too well for me… I messed up my photo shoot that morning… I messed up the proposal for my reportage… I was messed up… Just this afternoon, I cried… because I’d felt so useless and so pathetic… I actually tried to stop myself from crying and force myself to concentrate on making the proposal right… Even smsed a neutral source to get a whacking (i.e. get the person to think clearly and rationalize with me that I’m wallowing in self-pity)…

The neutral source, although a kind of researcher, destroyed all stereotype that Engine students are thinkers... He was partial to crying and letting things out… I got that, and the floodgates opened… I should have called my “mama”…

It did some good though… The crying… Really felt a bit better… (And by God’s grace, the report is back on track…)

Listening to “Fly Away” now… A while back, the Nightbirds were always listening to Corrinne May’s album… Ivan and I really liked it and we wanted to educate Mark on the finer points of her music… It didn’t work… He doesn’t recognize her song titles, can’t recall any of the lyrics and still can’t tell if a song is sung by Corrinne May or otherwise…

There’s a certain quiet at night that just can’t be found at any other time… I’d learnt to feel it, breathe it, live in it and thrive in it… It clears my head, makes me sane… And it was a comfort… As it is right now… (Sounds like it could be a worship song to Jesus eh?)

If I was back home, what would I be doing?

Probably sleeping by now… But not before cutting my birthday cake at the stroke of midnight… Would have seen and used my new D70 a zillion times already… Would have had a lovely birthday cake (my choice), a birthday song, birthday card, surprise birthday gifts and birthday hugs and kisses… The way I celebrated my birthday for the past 21 years…

But I’m not home…

That’s why I just walked across the road to have chaffee (cha & coffee) with Mumit and Topu… Got punches(not hard) by the guys at the stroke of midnight… Joined Ovick in analyzing Jess’ pictures… (They’re still at it)… Tomorrow… Or rather, later today… I will be buying a birthday cake to share with all the Pathshala students on the rooftop… And I will be meeting my multimedia buddies for dinner when I can…

So my 22nd birthday is a little different from the past… But it seems like a turning point… From when I was a small island kid… To when I became an independent adult… Fending for herself at every turn… Not being too afraid to try anything… Most things anyway…

I once told Topu that I’m not afraid of anything… He was trying to intimidate me... (At least for cockroaches… Diya thinks I’m the bravest girl in the world because I whacked a cockroach at close range… She uses aerosol) Maybe I’m exaggerating with the whole "I'm not afraid of anything"… But then, I’m beginning to see it… A strength and courage I never knew I had before… Until I started to live here...

I think that perhaps in future, I would want to come back here again... To work, to live, and to learn something I can't learn in Singapore like photography and Bangla... Think this is going to upset my mum so I shall stop here now...

Think I’m getting too sentimental… Going to the rooftop to get some air…

Stealing a moment….

2005-02-05T05:57:00.000+06:00

Time: 5.57am
State of Mind: Half Asleep
Reason for getting up at such a ridiculous time: To shoot the Buriganga River

There’s been a lot of silence around here… Which might be good for some Heart readers who say that this blog is more like a shout than a whisper… But for others, it’s a worrying sign… (I’m not saying that I’m in trouble... I’m saying that some people might get worried… Since I usually blog very regularly)

Don’t Worry.

I’m not blogging so often because I’m no longer a slacker! I actually have assignments to do and a report to work on… As much as I would like to blog on a lot of things, there just isn’t much time for it… I will try to of cos… there are some topics I have in mind… (Think blogging everything I do collectively in themed entries is more efficient... Keep a look out ya!)

This assignment is a part of Jack Picone’s Photojournalism Workshop which ends today… Assignment is to take 5 pictures of the Buriganga River… We’ve spent the last two days taking pictures there… Then printing the pictures for Jack to review and evaluate… I used up 6 rolls… (Yup… This workshop is very costly…)

Before my evaluation yesterday, I was really stressed out… I was afraid that I’d do badly or that my pictures wouldn’t come out in time… But Jack was very encouraging…

Of the five pictures I chose, Jack chose 2 and asked me to reshoot the rest… It’s not a bad thing… That’s what happens to everyone… There were some who had all 5 pictures chosen from their first lot… But there were others whose pictures didn’t get chosen… That’s the whole point of the exercise… To try to improve our pictures…

Thing about taking pictures outdoors, is you only get the best light in the evening and in the morning… That’s why everyone’s been getting up early and staying out late at the river… I prefer taking pictures in the evening… But yesterday, the evaluation ended too late and there was no time for anyone to go in the evening… I was forced to make this morning trip…

I seldom wake up so early… The only time I remember being up at this time was the first night I was here… I spent the entire night up unpacking… The whole place is very peaceful and quiet at this time… I stood on the roof and looked out onto the streets… There were some CNGs and rickshaws on the road already… The drivers must be freezing!

So right now, I’m waiting in my room for my group mates to come by and go down to the river together… They’re 30 mins late already… So much for wanting to leave here at 5.30am… Oh well… I’m giving them a call…

Window of R & R

2005-02-03T10:45:00.000+06:00

How does one start on a topic like this? Ok... I got it...

I'm slacking now...

I know it's not much of a surprise or anything... but actually, it's a very calculated period of rest... Allow me to explain...

The photography workshop with Jack Picone started yesterday... He showed us his work on the AIDS patients in Thailand, a very stigmatized group of people... After that presentation, he gave us our first assignment... Take 5 images of the Buriganga River... My group, consisting of Bjorn and Kakoli, went down at about 3 to take a look at the surroundings and start taking pictures... We spend the whole afternoon and evening there... Only reached back at Pathshala at 8.30pm... I sent my film for processing and was contemplating going down to the river in the morning before 6am and again at 3pm...

But I decided not to go in the morning...

For several reasons... (besides not wanting to wake up so early)

My first trip down to the river had not been a very successful one... I had taken a lot of pictures... 4 rolls to be exact... But I didn't know what to expect or what my story was going to be about... I felt I needed time to regroup... Get back my negatives from Chitroshala... Look at what I had taken and where I want to go from there...

My group was not going to the river together... So if I were to go down, I would be joining people from other groups... That would not be much of a problem but the river is very long and those groups might not be going to the same places I went to take pictures... It would be an opportunity for me to see more of the river... But I wasn't sure I wanted that... It would be another trip of discovery just like the previous trip... And it would be a waste of even more film and would tire me out for the trip down to the river in the evening...

I wasn't comfortable with the camera I used yesterday... I borrowed a camera from Pathshala... It was quite ok but I was not familiar with it... So I decided I wanted to use my own camera... The lens came back just fine! I just needed to borrow a filter from Topu...(I can't buy it because of the hartal...) and he could only be able to bring it down to Pathshala at about noon...

Then there are the advantages of not going in the morning...

There's more time to shoot in the evenings... Hopefully, with time to look at my pictures, I'd be better organised for my second trip... I wouldn't be so tired too... And of cos, with the free time I have now... I can blog, check my emails, iron my new tops, and do the research for my reportage... With opportunity costs like that, staying in today was the obvious choice...

Yeah I know... I'm a lazy bugger... "Allosh"

Awakening the Photojournalist… (Sort of)

2005-02-01T23:50:00.000+06:00

At breakfast, I spoke with Arabella about my story ideas and how I was worried that they weren’t very interesting… She got me to talk out my interests and we came up with a great story idea! It’s about charities and charity schools that are set up by locals for the locals… My focus will be on the individuals who set up these organizations and why they did it… It’s a break from the common misconception that charity work is only done by foreigners and NGOs… We pitched our story ideas to the local newspaper New Age and the editor liked my story idea! I even got some contacts… So the story is on its way! Such a relief….

The workshop is starting tomorrow…I’m quite worried cos I dropped my camera and the filter cracked and got jammed into the lens housing… The lens itself doesn’t look chipped in any way… The filter broke the fall of the lens… Thank God! It does mean that I won’t be able to use my own lens for my morning workshop assignments… Good thing I have the telephoto lens from Abir to use… So I just have to stand very far away from my subjects until Moti helps me get my lens fixed… Not a great way to start a photography workshop… But it isn’t the worst way either… At least the lens is safe…

I said it once and I’m gonna say it again… I’m glad I made frens with the Pathshala students… With their help, I can go to all the the places I didn’t and couldn’t go on my own…

After the trip down to the newspaper… I went shopping! I know I’m supposed to work on the story… But the Hartal is coming on Thursday and I didn’t want to waste the precious days when the shops were open… I hired Topu as my tour guide and we went down to New Elephant Road to take a look at the things there… I didn’t spend much time there because I was overwhelmed by the large number of shops in the shopping centres… It happens to me a lot… We ended going into individual shops… I bought two new tops! One is dark green and the other is purple… Now I’m two tops closer to assimilating into the culture…

Topu also invited us to a wedding dinner that he had to attend... We were all terribly underdressed... But it was quite nostalgic... Cos it was held in a Chinese restaurant.. Just like back home! I was just worried about was stealing the limelight from the Bride.. Everyone was staring at our Asian faces... sheesh...

Before the end of tomorrow, I’m going to do some more shopping… Maybe at New Market, where I’ve never been before… I won’t be just shopping for clothes… (Although that is high up on the agenda…) But I’d also be looking for the lovely handmade jewellery and bags, and for the local musical instruments as well… So what if I already own a bracelet, a nice pendant and a flute? A girl can always use more accessories… =)

Pooped out Gwen speaking

2005-01-31T23:55:00.000+06:00

Just in case my parents, or other people who don’t understand, get really upset reading the title… “Pooped out” just means “really tired”…

It’s confirmed… Jess & I are taking part in the whole month long program… Not just the workshop… That means that we get to go on excursions with the students and go sightseeing… It also means we have to do a photostory… It’s what I came here to do really… But then, I’ve never been confident of my photography skills or my journalistic skills… And the whole thing is stressing me out… I can’t think of a good story idea… One that can be done 2 weeks and has visuals… Panic!

I got a few stories but they are very vague…I need time to think it all through and get some specifics… 1) Foreigners who choose to live in Bangladesh… Why they want to do it and how they live… 2) Street Children… Learn about their backgrounds and what they do to survive and to have fun… 3) The educational system… How students like it… And what are the opportunities that are lacking for the poor... 4) Middle classes… How do all of them live… If anyone has any suggestions, let me know… I’m gonna need all the help I can get… I’m supposed to promote the stories to a newspaper or publication… Help!

Back to my being tired… I woke up at my usual time to go to Drik… Which really wasn’t enough… Only got 6 hours… But I dragged myself up… I went with Jess to Drik to drop off her parcel (which she is sending to her bf back home)… Said a few words to my people at Publications & of cos my dear friends in Multimedia… Then we came back to Pathshala… We weren’t sure if the Big Boss wanted us to go for the whole workshop or just a portion of it and we wanted to check… We attended the morning talk and it was really up to us! So we decided to go for it!

That’s when we had to present our story ideas… We had to think of them on the spot… Later on, we discussed the story ideas with our groups and that’s when I started worrying that the stories weren’t visual enough… I can get some contacts from Topu but I’m just not sure what I want to do…

After the discussion, it was sightseeing once again… But first, we went to Drik Café for lunch… Of all the places! Good grief… I met my dear Multimedia guys there and joined them for lunch… Syeed says they’ll both miss me when I don’t come for work… Haha! I feel bad about the Norwegians though… They never eat spicy food and that’s all you get in Dhaka… Save for the fast food joints and fancy restaurants… Think they didn’t quite enjoy their lunch at the café…

We went back to Lalbagh Fort Museum and this time, it was open… The grounds are really huge! It was used by the Moghuls… There was a bathhouse, a burial house and a few more buildings but I have no idea what they were used for… It was very tranquil…

Lots of people go there with their families to relax… Kind of like a park… All the children kept staring at us and walking around us… They saw our cameras and wanted their pictures to be taken… I took a few pictures… I couldn’t help it… Some of them were very endearing!

We also saw a little boy being forced to do squats by a security guard… Apparently the boy was caught picking flowers and as punishment, he had to do a hundred squats! Ouch… That must hurt…

Topu bought a very nice sweet made from coconuts… They were little flakes dipped in sugar… Perhaps actual flakes from coconuts… I don’t know but I really liked that sweet…

When I was taking in the whole surroundings, the Islamic worship song started playing… With the hypnotic music, and the whole Islamic surroundings, it was just so apt… It’s something you can’t take away with pictures or a video… It was different from any other place I’ve been to… The museum actually had some China porcelain plates and vases… I recognized the prints from when I went to China… But otherwise there’s nothing about this place that is similar to other places/countries…

After the Fort museum, we went to a Hindu temple nearby… It had a sculpture of a Hindu story in the centre of it… The sculptures were caged up to prevent people from damaging or stealing it… One of the characters… the villain… looked exactly like Malu! (Mind you, I wasn’t even the one who said it… Topu was… And he’s good friends with Malu!)

We went back to Pathshala…

It may not have sounded like I did a lot, but I was really tired already… Talking to Topu is exhausting when I keep having to decipher what he's saying in Bengali... On top of that, it was not even the end of the evening… I had agreed to go shopping with the Norwegian girls but I remembered that I had a dinner appointment… Abir had invited over to his place for dinner!! Yup… I promised the girls I would join them another time…

Strangely, I felt I would be wasting my evening if I didn’t go out and do something before dinner…The hartal had just ended and the shops were finally opening up after 3 days… I went out on my own to get my negatives scanned… It isn’t very far… Just down Mirpur road… I rather liked going around on my own… I mean, I know I’d be able to take care of myself…But I’m not too sure if I can take care of other people… I sent the negatives in and took a rickshaw back on my own… No problem at all! Shomosha na!

At “sharey shat ta” or 7.30pm, Abir came to pick us up and go to his place… His place is slightly bigger than most of the other houses we’ve been to… He and his family stays with his parents and some of his brothers… His son Nil is so cute! Nil is very obedient… When I asked him to come, he came and sat on my lap… I could ask him for his age and for his name… So proud of myself…

There was so much food again! There was 3 beef dishes, 1 fish dish, 1 chicken dish, chicken salad and a lot of dessert as usual… There was even chocolate cake and Doy (the nice curd thing from Topu’s home… Abir says we can get it from any sweet shop… yes!)

We seriously over-ate and tried to make up for it by eating some strange leaves with some small seeds… The taste was really strong and I choked on it… Diya & Jess couldn’t take it too… We all spat it out… with Abir’s wife’s permission of cos… She found it very amusing… our choking and screwed up faces…

When we’d finally been stuffed to the brim with food and dessert, we headed back to Pathshala… There’s actually another place to go after dinner… The Norwegian students were going out to someplace that I don’t know of… I wanted to go and just see what the place is like…But I was so tired I knew my body would never forgive for it… Since I still had to wake up early the next day…

So here I am, writing my blog in my room… Listening to Michael W. Smith’s “Worship”… I’m going to bathe and do my time alone with God… Then it’s a long conversation with my pillow… ZzzZzz…

Invasion of the Norwegians!

2005-01-30T23:30:00.000+06:00

Today, the routine and monotony of Drik & Pathshala was broken by the arrival of the 15+ exchange students from Oslo University, Norway… They came to take part in a month long photojournalism workshop together with the Pathshala students… 4 days of which Jess & I have the privilege to participate in…

They had arrived the day before and were living at Ambrosia…A guesthouse further down Mirpur Road… We never saw them since we were at work and most of them were horribly jetlagged…

I had no idea how much damage they would do to us…

Jessica and I took off midway thru work to attend the welcome talk under the Big Boss’ invitation… We were expecting to go back to work as soon as it was over… But once we got there, we never went back to Drik (to work at least)… We got grouped into groups with the Norwegians and the Pathshala students and went sightseeing!!

There were six in my group… I was the only girl… Topu (not the usual one from Drik… Another one…), Ovid (also a Pathshala guy), Bjorn (pronounced Byeurn… Almost as bad as Gwen for the locals), Ivan (pronounced E-vahn), Eivince (pronounced I-vince)… Yup… Norwegian names are a real killer…

I found it quite easy to talk to Bjorn because he’s only slightly more than a year older than me… (He’s just turned 23 and I’m gonna be 22 soon)… He has a strange impression that I know a lot of Bangla and everytime Topu says something, he expects me to understand it… But seriously, all I did was bring him around Drik and get him some bottled water from Drik mini store…

Ok, he was around when I spoke a little Bangla to my boss… He (my boss) was lying about his mother being Norwegian as an explanation for his knowledge of the Norwegian language… He just spent a year in Norway… That’s all… So, I called my boss a “mitabadi” (liar)… My boss was pleasantly surprised and he thinks I’m turning into a Bengali…

The other person I really enjoyed talking to, in the group, was Topu… He’s 24 and is as friendly and funny as the Drik Topu…haha! He was our ‘tour guide’ and brought us to a few different places… He’s very friendly to the stranger kids and even went to join them in playing cricket! I thought that was really sweet… I really wish I knew what the kids are saying in Bangla… That’s my goal… All the kids speak better Bengali than me!!

So, everytime Topu says something in Bengali, I’d ask him to translate it… Or I’d think of something I want to learn and ask him for the translation… On one rickshaw ride where I was with Topu, the rickshaw driver could understand a bit of English and started to ask Topu to translate what we were saying into Bengali… The opposite of what I was asking for! Bengali to English translation… It was cool! That rickshaw driver could explain to me in English that “Bhalo Achi” is “I’m fine”! Wow!

Topu’s quite “ollosh” (lazy)… So he very quickly picked up my boss’ trick of speaking to me nonchalantly in Bengali… no translation… Pretty annoying but funny… I tried to explain that I couldn’t speak Bengali… But he asked me “ki bhalo na” (what’s not good?)… it’s the whole irony of telling people that you can’t speak Bengali in Bengali… “ami Bangla bolte pari na”… I say it so often that I actually sound fluent saying it!

Ok… Enough of my Bangla antics… There’s really a lot more… Like how I started telling little stranger girls and boys that they look pretty… And how I bought peanuts from a little boy for Tk3… Topu bargained it down from Tk4… But I shall not get into that… Even though the Norwegians were totally impressed! (They’re gonna realize how silly that is when they learn to do it themselves…)

We saw so much today!

We went to the Jatiya Sriti Saudha or the National Martyrs Memorial… The journey there was very nice… We took rickshaws there… 2 to 1 rickshaw… We went pass the older and more primitive parts of Dhaka… There were old shophouses… and when we approached the river, we saw paddy fields and brick factories on one side, and people’s simple housing on the other side… The view was breathtaking… (Sidetrack: It’s very strange when 6 people walk around with cameras at hand… We attracted so much attention! A lot, and I mean a lot, of people stared at us…Good thing it was in an open place so they didn’t congregate around us… They just stood near us, hoping to have their pictures taken…)

The memorial was a simple brick structure next to the Bangsi River… The memorial was small and simple… But the River was gorgeous! I would love to tell you that the waters were crystal blue turquoise... But I would be lying through my teeth… The water was black and polluted… Not helped by the residents and tourists who throw their rubbish overboard... We paid Tk200 in total to hire a boat to ride down the river… Just the six of us! Quite a good bargain… The ride was so cooling and nice… We saw three kids rowing a boat and one of the kids was flying a kite! Everytime we saw people in other boats or on the shore, we’d wave and smile at them… And take their pictures… Think they loved it… The boat ride lasted one pleasant hour…

After that, we took a rickshaw to old Dhaka to find the Fort Museum… But we got there too late and it was closed… On the way back, I saw the New Market… I really want to go there sometime to shop… But that plan is being hampered by the silly 60hr Hartal that started yesterday… And the next upcoming one that will be from 2 Feb to 7 Feb… Disgusting…

Oh yeah… Topu introduced me to a small fruit sold on the streets… It looks like a cherry but it’s dipped in some salt and tastes a bit sweet and a bit bitter… Can’t remember the name… Maybe Az can help again… I only had one… I gave the rest back to Topu…

The day was ended with a very nice dinner party thrown here in Pathshala… We had chapattis and kebabs! Very nice… But the chapattis were really filling…

Although Jess & I are not sure what’s going to happen next, since we only get to attend certain programs of the whole exchange, but things have been shaken up already… We’ve gotten out of Mirpur Road and Dhanmondi… We got to know new people from Pathshala and Norway… I think we’ll be busy with the workshop (for which we are going to need to submit our portfolios…) and our proposals… But when it’s offday or after work, we now have new tour guides (meaning the students) to bring us out!

I can hardly wait to see what February is going to bring… Besides the silly 6 day hartal of cos…

Resistance of this Heart

2005-01-30T08:45:00.000+06:00

The theme of Chobimela III was Resistance… And I finally understand the significance of it…

When you go outside of your comfort zone and see the world for what it is, see the way other people live and think… you realize that there is just so much that you never knew existed… Things you may like or dislike… Things you may agree or disagree with… It’s when you see all this that you start to understand who you really are and what you really think…

I’m a good girl by stereotypical standards… I’m a pious Christian girl… I go to church, I pray every night… I don’t smoke, or drink or club… I don’t have piercings or tattoos… I never even had dyed hair because I know my mother loves my black hair… And in fact, I consider black a lovely colour for hair…

I hold very strongly to the Christian values that I have learnt from church and from the relationship I have with God… I believe in the sanctity of marriage (which means, no sex before marriage), in the miracle of childbirth (no abortion… give the child for adoption!), in the truth of the Creation written in the bible (God made Man & Woman… There’s nothing in between), in not bringing harm to my body with cigarettes or alcohol, honouring my parents and being submissive to authority (like our government)…

Some people might look at me and call me conservative, prudish, naïve, simple minded… Not harsh words… but not the most kindly or friendly names either… especially in the manner in which these words are spoke… It seems a taboo to be good… Everyone wants to rebel… To be different… To stand out of the crowd… Make their voices heard… Protest… Strike… Everyone wants to satisfy themselves… Think about themselves first…their image… their whims & fancies… their self-worth… their dignity… their rights…

There’s nothing wrong with them… But here’s news for you… I don’t do what they do… And I AM different…

You might be thinking… You are kidding! How can you be different? You are exactly what society wants!

Yes… That’s true… In some sense, I’m exactly what people expect me to be… But even that has been a conscious choice on my part… I chose to be the daughter that my parents can be happy with… I chose to be the good girl… And that is different because everyone else is effectively trying to do opposite!

I just spent an evening watching “Sex and the City” on DVD with Arabella, Diya, Jessica and Shalini… And I was very disturbed… I cannot accept homosexuality as a norm… Nor can I accept sexual promiscuity… I have nothing against people who live that way… but I cannot accept their lifestyle…

Arabella, who has two kids and lives with their father Peter, is not in anyway married to Peter even though she lives as his wife and mother to the kids… It’s a form of resistance of the social construct of marriage… She said she just wasn’t the marrying kind… While I respect their commitment to each other, I can’t understand it… I believe God gave the marriage covenant to us… It’s not something for us to rebel against or to reject… It’s a gift…

Someone once told me that since I was living away from home, I should be more free and independent… Relish the feeling of being away from parents and the rules of home… Try out new things and experience a different kind of life… But instead of being drawn to the things that I’ve never done before… I’m finding myself wanting even more to hang on to my values, my beliefs and my faith…

Am I too scared or too cautious to try something new?

Well, I’m living on my own in a whole new country for six whole months on my own decision, a country where everything is different from Singapore, where people hardly speak English… I think that ought to earn me some points for courage to try new things… There are just some things that I don’t need to try to know I don’t want it…

Take smoking for instance… My colleagues in Drik were amazed that I never smoked…I even had to bare my teeth to Syeed to convince him I was a non-smoker… (The teeth thing worked…) Rajib & Syeed kept telling me I should try the taste to know how it felt and perhaps I would like it… I turned them down flat… I said… I don’t need to try… I would never consider picking up the habit… They knew how serious I was about it when they also heard I never drink… (Drinking is illegal for the locals, so they were asking me how I could get used to not having beer around… I told them, the same way I always get around… without beer ever…)

It does hurt to be stereotyped as a goody-two-shoes… I’ve had my fair share of bad experiences and hurts… To be brushed aside as a person who has not seen the “big bad world” just because I’m the youngest in my family or because I’m a Christian… It really isn’t very fair… Out of the five girls staying here, I’m the most conservative… And that makes me feel like an oddball at times… I’m more conservative than a mother of two! But I refuse to compromise in favour of fitting in…

People can resist the world and all the bad things it represents… But I’ll do my own kind of resistance… Resisting the urge to be a rebel like the rest of my generation… I’m a good girl… And I’m not afraid to admit it… =)

Precious offday

2005-01-28T20:17:00.000+06:00

After you had a four day holiday, a one day weekend just doesn't quite cut it... Oh well... Beggars can't be choosers... Neither can young interns from Singapore... To make up for the lack of offdays, the five of us did quite a lot today...

We left Pathshala at 3pm... (We couldn't leave earlier... Everyone woke up late... Even me! I woke up at eleven...) And we headed down to Aarong to look at Punjabis and Salwars... Apparently, the outfit I bought the last time was a Salwar... Not a Punjabi... I dunno what's the difference... But I'll figure it out and let you know... (Pictures are coming soon, I promise...)

Aarong has very nice clothes I must say... Very good quality and very pretty... But the prices are higher than Bangla Mela... I didn't bring enough money so I didn't buy anything... But it's a huge place! Punjabis and tops and Salwars on the first floor, saris on the second, ornaments on the third and men's wear on the fourth... Think I want to get something for daddy... But I'll wait for my sister to come to choose before I buy anything... That goes for the green sari I'm expected to get for my sister's wedding...

We visited some bookshops and DVD shops after that... Later on, we went to Rifles... I fell in love with a very nice white Punjabi suit... But it costs almost S$40... After that, I also found another shop selling very nice Punjabi suits for under Tk700... Think I'll consider those options before going back for the white Punjabi... (Also heard that my colleague can get a discount for the white Punjabi... So I wrote down the model number and I'll ask her about it tomorrow!)

To end the day, we went to eat at Grill & Chill... I had Spaghetti Carbonara but it looked and tasted more like fried noodles with egg... It's nice if you don't think that you are eating Italian food... And just think you are eating at home... Had a very local taste... It wasn't even oily!

So that's how we made use of every bit of time of our offday... Can't wait for next friday!

**And this is a reminder to all avid readers of "A Whisper from the Heart"... My birthday is coming up!!! If you don't know when it is... Shame on you! Just get me a present...

Enchantment of the Bonfire

2005-01-28T11:49:00.000+06:00

After work yesterday, Shalini, Diya, Arabella and I went to Zaib’s sister’s place for a bonfire… Jess didn’t go because she wasn’t fully well and she expected it to be a cold night… She was quite right in fact…

But anyway… Bonfire… What on earth is a bonfire? That was one thing I went to find out…

Turns out that a bonfire is just what we all know to be a CAMPFIRE… It wasn’t even a very big bonfire but it was quite nice once it was lit… Zaib lit it after we arrived… He also lit some strong smelling dried plants in a cauldron to produce a lot of smoke and keep the mozzies away… (I don’t know how effective it was since I was still getting bitten… but then, considering the surroundings and the fact that it was at night, it probably kept a good number away and saved me even more bites…)

The place was massive! It was a bungalow with a very large garden! Along the boundaries of the property were apartment blocks but no one could look in on this family… Cos they were protected by a lovely canopy of tall, shady trees… The family had set up tables and chairs on the lawn and there was a bonfire set up right in the middle… There was even a little service table set up where the servants served drinks and a special local dessert that is almost like our Kueh Tutu only that it’s 4x the size… It’s made from ground rice placed on a metal mould with a coconut filling… It’s also steamed! But they eat it with molasses… I forgot the name… All I remember is that it tasted really good…

Zaib’s sister and brother-in-law were not in and he and his parents had gone to stay on the property to take care of his two nephews, Nazin and Emud… They were rather friendly and were quite candid in telling us that we should not stay long in the smoking corner (an outdoor table equipped with a lit candle under a lot of trees) because there are a lot of crows in the trees and they do their poop at night… They spent most of the night negotiating for a bedtime later than their usual 8pm… They were smart enough to go to their grandmother, Zaib’s mother… It was afterall, a grandmother’s prerogative to spoil the grandchildren… They were still around when we left after 10pm…

The rest of us spent the evening eating prata(!!) & beef curry, making polite conversation with Zaib’s father and mother, playing with the two dogs Pluto and Socrates (Diya thinks Socrates should have been named Barbie… And I agree… Socrates didn’t look the least bit philosophical… It just looked ditsy…), barbecuing cube-shaped marshmallows that were only made from pure sugar, and even listening to Zaib’s two friends sing and play the Banjo and a strange one-string instrument called the Ektara or something like that… (I know my dad would have liked me to sing too… but I didn’t… For 1 very good reason… They were singing Islamic songs in Bangla… I didn’t understand the language, and they were singing to a different God…)

Seriously, there’s something very hypnotic about a campfire… I’ve never been a brownie or a girl guide… So I didn’t experience enough campfires to know until now… Several times that evening, conversations would cease, things would be still and everyone would just sit around the fire and stare at it... Completely enraptured... Perhaps the fire was very cheery and lively, when the rest of the surroundings were in the shadows… Like the contrast between hope and despair… Perhaps the fire provided the only source of heat in a cold winter evening… I couldn’t explain it… But it was beautiful… There was a full moon out too! Utterly romantic…

Normally, this die hard romantic would imagine spending such an evening with the someone she really cares about or something… But not that evening… Just for once, she took in the whole atmosphere, without wasting time trying to imagine something that is purely hypothetical… For her, only what is true and real was adequate… And the fire, the garden, the moon and the whole evening was all true…

And that made it truly poetic...

Quirky Drik

2005-01-26T22:30:00.000+06:00

Wanna know why I love working at Drik?
The people are just different…

For not apparent reason, people just burst into song… Seriously! They start singing right in the middle of nowhere… They could just be stoning… or taking a pause from a conversation… And then a song comes to their mind and they sing it out…. It’s happened several times! Different people each time… And the best thing? No one else seems to mind at all! I’ve promised myself that I’m going to record down everyone’s singing voice… just for kicks… And I think I’m gonna try it out myself sometime too!

Cricket is like this big thing in Bangladesh… Whenever Bangladesh plays, the majority of the Drik ppl would just disappear from their workstations… Nowhere to be found… But if you’re good enough to find the one room in Drik with the biggest tv… They’d all be there… Staring at the screen… Giving it their undivided attention… cheering on their team whenever there’s a hit… It’s quite funny to watch them watch cricket actually… (Reminds me of whenever there’s a big soccer match on tv back home…) I don’t get the game though… Do you know that it can go on for a week? And each day, it can go on for 7 hours?? Talk about stamina…

Drik people love to make jokes and stuff… I would know…I’d been the brunt of most of them… (Interestingly, such things don’t change no matter where I go…oh well!) Got some examples…The back of my maroon jacket says “since 1948”, so people say “Gwen, you’re born in 1948? That’s so old!”…the comeback is “No, only the jacket is that old… would you like to smell it?” There’s one where everyone says I behave like a little girl… only slightly older than Tutul’s son Raiyan… I’ve learnt the Bangla phrase “Ami boro may”… “I’m a big girl”… Just waiting to use it…

The new guy at Drik, Syeed, multimedia teamleader after Siraj, has been trying to trick me into believing that certain Bangla phrases mean something else in English… It’s been pretty confusing because I know enough of Bangla to know that he’s lying… So I just tell him, I don’t understand anything he’s saying cos I don’t understand bangla… “ami Bangla bolte pari na” … Need to learn to say “liar” in Bangla and maybe “I can’t hear anything…something flew past my ear…”… I have a feeling that if I keep this up, I’m gonna have a pretty good vocab of Bangla words… haha!

Oh and there’s the whole conspiracy of my boss wanting to make me learn bangla faster by never translating anything he says… Think it caught on to a few more people… My retort? I start speaking in Mandarin… and I refuse to translate until they do… Haha!

Yup, working at Drik has been great fun so far… They really take care of me… I wanted to go for a walk during lunch… When Nazrul heard, he came along with me… And brought me to Shonko Bajar… Near Drik… Where he bought bananas and bread to eat cos he didn’t want to eat the food at Drik Café… I got 2 bananas just for walking with him! (Did you know? It cos Tk2 for every banana… I think rickshaw drivers are at a losing end… they work so hard to ride 3 girls with heavy bags to Drik from Road 32… and they get a measly Tk6… The banana seller got Tk8 for 4 bananas! Think the rickshaw drivers should just quit their jobs and sell fruits…)

And you know what? I’m quite proud to say that I am confident enough of my knowledge of the streets around this area and of Bangla to be well equipped to go around on my own… I can hail a rickshaw… Tell the driver where I want to go… Bargain (doesn’t always work though…) & Stop exactly at my destination… At drik café, I can order food, and tea and pay… I even learnt how to compliment Jabar… the clever boy working there… Shopping… No problem there… Most shopkeepers can speak English… At least enough to get the right sizes and even get a new piece… And the shops I go to give fixed prices so I don’t even need to worry about bargaining… So yeah… I can pretty much go around on my own without much worry… “Chalak May!” (Clever Girl!)

Okok… Just a last bit for Rajib, my very patient Bangla teacher… (I know he only reads bits of my blog where I talk about him…) So, it’s a good thing that he’s really nice and helpful with teaching me bangla phrases… Otherwise I would just be stuck with “donnobud” (thank you)… I promised I’ll try to recall my Flash… so that I can teach him.. He’s been bugging me since the first week of Jan I think… but really… “ami Flash jani na” (I don’t know Flash)…Still trying to get out of it…

Yup... Quirky Drik... Even quirkier people in Drik... =)

Slow work day...

2005-01-24T22:30:00.000+06:00

Two days after Eid...

Every office is closed...

Every shop is closed...

Even DrikCafe is closed...

Except Drik...

Oh well... Even Drik is half closed...

Almost everyone was on leave...

Except me... and Jess... and Shalini...

I can name the people at office in one blog!

Topu, Abir, Amin, Anwar, Tutul, Falar, Rajib, Siraj, Syeed....

there are others i dunno the names of...

Multimedia department reported full attendance! (So proud of them...)

Jess & I?

we worked on our research and proposals....

using the slow dial up...

We got really tired and bored...

We got even more tired and bored...

I think we made more stops to the mini store today than any day...

After work, there was still nothing to do...

The shops were still closed...

Chitroshala was also closed...

So we just went back to Pathshala to sleep...

and watch a lot of Star World Sitcoms...

And that's how we spent that slow work day...

Heart of Gratefulness...

2005-01-24T09:05:00.000+06:00

Stock Taking: What have I achieved in Dhaka so far?

In the work department, I don’t think I have contributed all that much… I have learnt things but I have not been about to apply my knowledge creatively yet… There’s still so much I want to learn and to see…

In living on my own, I’m still trying to adapt… It’s coming along… But very slowly… Haven’t bought enough clothes to dress like the locals yet… And my vocabulary of Bengali words is increasing at snail’s pace…

In my personal projects like… learning to play “classical gas” on my guitar… writing my own song… I have not even touched them…

But there is one thing that I definitely have grown in… And that is in trusting the Lord…

When you are in a new place and you have no where to turn to… You could do one of three things… You could become very reserved and turn inwardly… Depending on yourself, trusting in your own abilities…You could turn to depend on other people and everything you do depends on what others do or say or think of you… The last way, is to turn to God… Where in everything you do, you choose not to be afraid for no reason or you choose not to crumble under all circumstances because you have a confidence that God is taking care of you…

I chose the third way…

Since I got here, I’d been become very disciplined in waking up! I have no idea how that happened… I’d also gotten very disciplined in doing my time alone with God every day… I’m very careful that I get daily feeding on God’s Word… My room has a daily devotion calendar given by my ex core group member which I flip and read everyday… My email has daily devotionals from www.purposedrivenlife.com everyday from Monday to Friday… Every night, I’d pray in tongues and in English, read the bible, sometimes pray the bible out, listen to and sing along with the worship CDs, and even listening to the bible in audio format at times… I’d also taken time to read Christian books to supplement my daily reading of the bible…

And it has done so much good!

For one, I’d been sleeping very well… That keeps ones mind straight really…

I’d been able to hear and learn more from Him than I have ever done before… I didn’t even need to go to church to experience Him and the peace that comes from Him… All I need to do is worship Him in my own room, on my bed… God has been teaching me so much about myself and the issues in my heart and life… At times when I’d felt lonely and insecure, a little prayer and worship always perked me up…

During one of my bouts of depression, I’d mustered up all the energy I had to email two of my favourite women in church, and asked them for prayers… Soon after, I started to feel better… It wasn’t a subconscious thing… It was God… It had to be because in the midst of my email getting sent, there was a power flicker that caused the computer I was using to switch off and I never knew if that email got sent to them… I only found out when they replied… And when I was released from the depression

Sidetrack: Must also thank God for allowing me to get my sermons from church YAS (Young Adult Service) every week… I have two ladies helping me out behind the scenes… My dear miss ha has been buying sermon cds for me every week… And my own “mama” or HM would upload it onto the internet for me to download as and when I’m free to… If not for their selflessness, and their love… I would not have this added feeding every week…

I also know that God has been the one protecting me and the people around me from any possible mishaps… Once a telephone wire was hanging low across the road.. I was on the rickshaw sitting at the top… The richshaw went straight into the wire and I almost got the wire caught on my neck… But thank God that someone who was minding the wires realized what was going to happen and yanked it out of the way in time… The wire just slid up my neck… Nothing else…

The several times that we’d been out late or were walking around a dodgy place, we were always able to walk back or find a cab quickly to bring us back safely… And on top of that, none of us had gotten close to being mugged… If all that is not the grace and favour and blessing of God… I don’t know what it is…

I know that people like to look at Christians and our weaknesses and say… How can you be like that? I tot you are Christians and should be very holy & perfect? All I can say is, only God is perfect… He doesn’t require us to be perfect… Just to try to be perfect like Him… He has mercy on us and our weaknesses… And it’s a really good thing that God is so merciful and isn’t looking for perfect people to bring to heaven… cos He wouldn’t find any at all… Certainly not me… I’m just a work in progress… =)

Another visit…

2005-01-23T23:59:00.000+06:00

For lunch today, Shalini, Jess & I went to Topu’s place… He stays with his parents and sister Topa… (Topu &Topa are pet names) Topa is very very pretty! She actually reminds me of a girl from CS…

Their house is very nice… There are two sets of sofas! A cane one with orange cushions and a simple wood one with blue cushions…The rooms are also quite big… Topa’s room is very simple and neat and pretty… But Topu doesn’t get his own room… He sleeps in the drawing room (i.e. living room) on two very nice sofas put together…

Lunch was prepared by Topa… We had 3 dishes of beef, 2 dishes of chicken, and 1 dish of vegetables… There was also salad and french fries! The food was fantastic! We ate too much and too fast again… And after lunch, they gave us this very interesting curd dessert… It tastes like natural flavoured yakult and the texture is like tau huay… Only a bit more thick…We loved it! I had three servings of it! I’m gonna ask Topu where they buy it from… After that, they gave us another dessert.. This time, it was a home made dessert called dohyi… or something like that… Also nice…

There’s one last very important thing that I learnt from visiting… The local cola RC tastes very nice! The original one tastes exactly like coke… And the lemon one is very refreshing… I'm so switching to RC from now on...

High Maintenance Girl

2005-01-23T13:00:00.000+06:00

This blog was inspired by a few things…

1) A comment my sisters’ once made… That of the 3 of us, the one mostly to marry a rich man would be me…

2) A complaint from my car-smart, male counterpart of the Nightbirds, that it is really expensive to be my friend… (Ok… Ivan is at fault too… But you get the idea…)

3) A life of independence in Dhaka, away from home… You learn about a side of yourself you never knew before…

4) A particular show on Star World called “Outback Jack”… I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure I will… It will pop up one day when I’m really bored and sitting in front of the telly watching whatever comes on… Based on the ads, it’s a reality tv show where 12 uptown girls (think Paris Hilton) are literally thrown into the Australian Outback and expected to survive…It’s the kind of show that I’d love to laugh at, trash and declare with all confidence that I’m not like them… (Mind you, when people say and think things like that, they are actually in denial)

5) A passing remark made by a rather peculiar lab rat that I’d spoken to on MSN… Somehow this phrase “high maintenance chick” just came up…

I tell you… All the signs were telling me to blog this…

I had always thought of myself as a low maintenance, simple kind of girl…The kind who never asked for much, never needed much, and never bothered much with anything… Thrown in a harsh place, I’d be able to live quite simply… Hardy like…

I was totally deluded…

There’s absolutely nothing like living on your own to really clear your head…Cos I realized that it takes a lot of money, time and energy to support myself… Even wits! Not even sure if that’s a good or bad thing… You know what I’m saying or not? (If you say that last phrase fast enough, you’d sound like one of my avid readers…I’m sure he’ll know who he is…)

Before I go on, just let me clarify what I mean by high maintenance… I know guys have their own ideas… Like girls who require ALL of their time, Girls who need to have their bags carried for them, Girls who need to be sent home everyday… I’m not talking about that… That’s between a guy and a girl… Not the same issue here… No guy… And won’t be a guy for a long long time… I’m talking about me maintaining myself see… High Maintenance… Essentially, I’m complaining about how difficult it is to keep myself alive…

Give you some examples…

Personal Maintenance: I can’t just live on my facial cleanser anymore… I’ve started using toner and moisturizer… The whole three step thing… And that takes time… I actually get bothered when my hair looks bad… I used to not care how bad it looked as long as I could tie it up… To watch my weight and health, I’ve been trying to cut down on my sugar and oil and egg intake… been taking my vitamins regularly… and might be starting my exercise regime in my room… It used to take 5 mins to prep myself… Now I take about half an hour!

Clothing: I’m still wearing my jeans and tees with sweater… but I already got a Punjabi to wear to functions… Wore it to my boss’ home during Eid… Planning to get more for work… Assimilating into the culture here… and a nice sari to keep… Started to be concerned about my clothes matching… (Perhaps I might even make a nice sari to wear at my sister’s wedding… Hope she okays it…) I never trusted my taste in clothes… but I’m still gonna go shopping for them anyway… And I’m sure I’d be able to at least tell what looks nice on me…

Domestic Arts: I can’t trust clothes that aren’t washed in a machine! I’m really trying to rethink that one… There’s no machine around here and I really don’t know how to wash my own clothes properly… I spend hours doing my laundry… And yet they still seem a wee bit dirty after washing… (Mummy! Help!) I could barely iron my own Punjabi… Never used to iron my clothes…I’d just ask my maid to do it for me… But now, I want to have nicely pressed clothes and I’m making myself learn to iron!

Still get very annoyed when I have to wash my own dishes… How come it takes so many utensils to have one meal?? And I’m a fussy eater but I can’t cook anything except instant noodles for myself when I’m hungry… Still looking for the familiar instant preparation food I had when I was back home in NTU hostel… Not too different from those other uptown girls in “Outback Jack”… Ok, at least I dun go around the desert looking for outlets for Eh-leck-tron-necks... (Electronics)

Recreation: Ref #2 above… It takes money to keep me occupied… Back home, I took part in a lot expensive activities like shopping for expensive useless silver collectibles… playing pool & bowling (but I cut down on those)… taking photos… driving a lot and wasting petrol… watching a lot of movies… always eating at expensive food joints and drinking coffee and chilling out at overpriced cafes…

Over here, I find myself still looking for the same kind of activities even though it’s a poor country… And when I can’t maintain it… I just think about continuing my old lifestyle the moment I get home…What’s wrong with me? I thought I was supposed to be learning to be more comfortable with myself and with less material things… So much for that eh…

But before I get my whole family worried that I’m upset again or something… Allow me to clarify… I’m fine… I’m ok… It’s just a realization of how much it takes to keep me… Mum, Dad, you’ve been doing a great job all my life…

It’s really not too bad being a high maintenance girl actually…

I know for a fact that I go for quality in things… i.e. what I buy must last… It has to be hardy so that I can use it for a much longer time… I wouldn’t settle for anything less, most of the time…

I know I have an expensive and exquisite taste… But hey… That applies to all things including people! So all my good friends can proudly say that they were exquisitely chosen… Now, how cool is that?

I’ve been in Dhaka for what, 3 weeks? And I’m still alive and kicking! No crying and wanting to go home… Even though I’m still getting used to my power getting cut off and water running out and no broadband access whenever I want it… I’m still adapting…

I’m also trying to learn to relate to very strange people at work and at Pathshala… Can’t been too spoilt and pampered anymore…

In the past three weeks, I’d also spent less than what I am given for 2 weeks… Think my dad should be very proud of me…

And besides, being a high maintenance girl, the odds of actually marrying a rich man in future is actually upped in my favour! cos only those who can afford to support you will dare to make a move…

So, all you high maintenance girls out there… Keep your heads up! You’re definitely worth it! =)

The story of my chocolate biscuit…Based on a true story

2005-01-23T11:23:00.000+06:00

There was once a girl with a heart for chocolate…

Any kind of chocolate…
Dark Chocolate…
Milk Chocolate…
White Chocolate… (Ok, maybe not white chocolate… She’s white and sweet enough…)

Anything made with chocolate… (not white chocolate)
Chocolate bars…
Chocolate cakes…
Chocolate brownies…
Chocolate ice cream…
Chocolate raisins…
Chocolate peanuts…
Chocolate biscuits…

She especially liked chocolate biscuits…
They didn’t melt in her bag…
They weren’t so small that they didn’t fill her up…
They were easy to find…

One day, she brought her Junior out…
She got hungry…
She was at a petrol station…
She bought a box of chocolate biscuits…
She offered them to Junior but he declined…
She ate them…

Weeks later, she was to leave for Dhaka…
She was afraid to miss the food at home…
She went out…
She bought two boxes of those same chocolate biscuits…
She packed them in…

Night before she left, she heard a knock on the door...
She saw her Junior with a bag for her…
She opened the bag…
She found two boxes of those same chocolate biscuits…
She had no space…
She left them behind…

Two weeks in Dhaka, she missed home and the food…
She ate some biscuits…
She ate some more biscuits…
She ate even more biscuits…
She finished the biscuits…

One day in Dhaka, she walked into a super market…
She walked down every aisle…
She looked at everything they sold…
She saw boxes of those same chocolate biscuits!
She bought them…

Now, she eats the chocolate biscuits any time she likes…

And the girl with the heart for chocolate lived happily ever after in Dhaka… =P

Eid Special: Stuffed Gwen

2005-01-23T01:00:00.000+06:00

I can’t sleep yet… Not on a full stomach… Just got back from my boss’ place… I think I had too many sweet desserts… It started from this morning when Rayhana (Housekeeper’s wife) gave us some desserts she had made… It was some noodle-like thingy that was brown and sweet… And had some beans in it… The other one was some orange rice and that was sweet too… That was served to us in the Pathshala common room… We never lifted a finger and got it… Then we went visiting…

We went to two places to visit… Kind of like visiting during Chinese New Year…

Sidetrack: Does every family gamble during Chinese New Year? Cos my family doesn’t… Thank goodness! Jessica was really surprised when I told her about it though… She took it for granted that every family gambles… Oh well, I used to take it for granted that every family spends Chinese New Year the way we do… No gambling… Just lots of people to visit and lots more people to visit us… And our time is spent having mature, adult conversations(ok, not me… but everyone else…) and enjoying the wonderful cooking that my mum whips up… Oh well… Guess CNY just isn’t the same for all families…

Back to the visiting we did today… One was Shalini’s friend’s place… Zaib… He stays on Sonargaon… Which is at the end of Panthapath, where we stay… They stay on the top floor of a high rise building… And mind you… They are rich! You can tell… They all look very upper class… Zaib & his parents… They carry that air of being very wealthy… But are still very hospitable and friendly…

Their place is two big apartments combined to become one… And only about 4 people stay in it… (To put things into perspective, their place is actually smaller than my home… But it’s big by Dhaka standards…) They have a young boy servant who serves us tea on a little tea dolly… How quaint is that? The whole place is quite grand... Carefully decorated with art and artifacts from all over the world… Like a hand-woven carpet of one of the famous monuments from China… (It wasn’t placed on the floor to be stepped on…It was hung on the wall…) They even have four sets of sofas in the living room…(I guess they entertain a lot) and there’s still plenty of space… On top of that, Zaib and his two older siblings were all educated in England… Rich blood…

We were served these sweet desserts… Like vermicelli in condensed milk… It was kind of nice… But I have a real problem eating anything that is too sweet… My mum altered my taste… haha! She also gave us this pasty thing which was made with molasses… Also very sweet… My tastebuds are really having a tough time adjusting to the new sugar rich environment… (Made worse by Diya who has a real sweet tooth and keeps buying these Bangladeshi sweets and cakes and offering it to all of us…)

The other place we visited was my boss Reza’s place… He stays at Old Dhaka… We had dinner there… It was all very nice! His house is way smaller than Zaib’s house… Kind of the size of Tutul’s place… But it gives a totally different feeling… In Zaib’s house, we all felt sleepy… It’s the comfy sofas and the whole yellow tinge in the décor… But in my boss’ house, they had very nice cheery coloured curtains and matching cushion covers…. And the whole place looked very homely and lived in…

Before I continue about the food we had, this die-hard romantic must give an update… We met my boss’ family and… His wife is very very beautiful!! And remember, I mentioned before that my boss is very good-looking… So they looked so good together… Like Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston (I heard they split up… is that true?) We saw pictures of them (my boss & his wife… not Jennifer & Brad…) when they went to Paris and Norway before they were married… They went there to work and travel a bit… They looked so loving! In the pictures and in real life… They were definitely a love marriage!! Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…

Here’s the best part… Lippi (My boss’ wife) is 3 months preggers! This blur girl noticed it all by herself! She asked her boss if his wife was pregnant and he was like… “She’s showing already?” I think it’s the way she tied her sari… With a bit more cloth on her tummy to protect it and keep it warm… aww... =) Jess & I agree that the baby’s gonna be a really good looking one… No matter who the baby takes after… He/she won’t go wrong in the looks department…

Now back to the food we had… Dinner was a nice yellowish rice with rezala beef curry, a fish called bwong or something, pickles made from olives or mango, and fried chicken! We were all very hungry so we ate really fast and felt so stuffed afterward…

The problem was, we hadn’t factored in the desserts… Dessert was more of the vermicelli thingy… My boss says it’s called sheemide or something…(Az… I’m expecting you to help me correct all these names… thanx!) Of all the desserts I had, I liked theirs the best… It’s sweet but not exceedingly sweet… Then there’s another version of it that doesn’t have gravy, looks a little orangy and resembles mini mee tai mak… It tastes really really nice!

By the end of the day, we were totally stuffed and got packed into a cab to head back to Pathshala… And, that is how this Eid Special came about… Stuffed Gwen… A sweet dessert…

Shopaholic Hits Dhaka...

2005-01-21T13:00:00.000+06:00

Ok... So "Shopaholic" might be pushing things abit... As all my family & good friends and my Junior should know... I'm not much of a shopper... I can't shop for very long periods of time and I don't shop for a lot of things...

I'm a targeted shopper in a sense... That means, when I shop, I must have a targeted item in mind... Jeans or a nice tee shirt or a bag or a pair of sandals or a book... (That's the normal shopping list... Most of the time, my shopping list looks more like: books, stationery, movie vcds, expensive silver things that no one else would think of buying...) Very general objectives but they give me an idea of what I need and what I am looking for... It also gives me the cue to stop when I have met that objective...

That sounds like how boys shop!

Well... Not really... I do know of certain guys who actually enjoy shopping... So there goes the stereotype... But if we talk about the rest of the guys who hate shopping.. I don't shop like them at all... They walk into a shop, see what they want, buy it and go home... I know what I want... But i still need to compare... and browse... And I do make detours when there are nice clothes or something in the window of another shop... I just need to get into the mood of shopping by starting with something in mind... If I dun get what I had in mind to buy... then it might carry over to the next shopping trip...

I'm weird, I know... So sue me...

Yesterday though, I was really in the mood to shop... I went out with the objective of buying a punjabi... At least 1 punjabi top... Otherwise, like I told Jessica, I wouldn't go back to Pathshala... I was a woman with a mission...

Jess & I went to the shops that Shalini recommended us to go... The first one was a shop called Banglar Mela... they even have their own website! http://www.banglarmela.org The prices, we were told, are fixed and the quality is good... So it seemed like a pretty safe place for us to shop at on our own... On top of that, it's just along Mirpur Road and very near Pathshala...

My goodness! It's a really nice place to shop at! There was quite a good range of Saris and Punjabis and Sawas... Even shawls to keep warm... Jessica found a Punjabi for her boyfriend... And a nice white top for herself... I got a full Punjabi suit! With the top, a scarf and pants... The top is a very nice modern print.... Blue, black & white... The scarf is white with a blue print border... And the pants are just white... It cost Tk980!! Which is about S$32... Not too shabby right? I was quite proud of that buy... Later on I bought another shawl! A nice huge maroon one... It's really warm & only cost Tk250! There was this other sawa that I saw... Tk300.. A bright red one... But decided not to buy it... cos I wanted to see the other shops first...

Later on, Jess & I went to another shop that Shalini recommended... It's called Nipun and they also had very nice clothes... But it's more expensive than Banglar Mela... I saw a very nice shawl there... Black with nice little blue flower prints... But there was a run in it and it was the last piece... So I didn't get it.. (That was before I bought the red shawl at Banglar Mela)... Jessica bought a very nice black bag from there though.... Cos her white one is turning black... I got a nice little bracelet from Nipun... cost Tk45...

So after shopping for several hours, I spent a grand total of S$40 and bought a whole new outfit! Believe me, controlling my spending was a big challenge... I may not be great at shopping... but i have a terrible problem... It's called expensive taste... It happened several times! I can be looking at a shelf of punjabis with an average price of Tk700-800... And the ones that I like and pick out... are the ones that cost Tk900-1000... Then when I was looking at the shawls at Nipun, the average price of those were aboutTk300... And the one I picked out was Tk600!! I had to convince myself that I can't spend so much money... So I started to limit myself to the not so expensive stuff...

After the shopping, Jess & I went to a little cafe called Sausly's to sit down, eat some finger food and have a coke... It was amazing to sit there and rest... We were both tired... And then there were these three little beggar boys who were having a lot of fun outside the door... We were so amused by them that Jess wanted to take their pictures... She took two pictures and we gave them each Tk2.... Very very cute...

Tomorrow is Eid... So when we were out on the streets, there were cows and goats being sold or being driven by their new owners... Some were wearing bright ribbons and things... And with more animals around, there's more poop around too... Jess & I saw a cow pee as it was being driven along... the pee made a long swiggly pattern on the road... haha! Never seen that before... Many ppl were also selling these sacks of grain... I figured it's cow feed... We couldn't imagine how the slaughter would be done... the cows were so huge! Jess & I had had the privilege of patting some smaller goats... They look so cute and everything! I actually suggested that Jess & I buy a baby goat for ourselves... We could keep that one alive for another few more months... before we leave and it gets slaughtered anyway... sigh...

And just for interest sake... Animals are not the only ones that pee on the road.... If you ever come here and see a man squatting at the side of the road... don't be alarmed... He's peeing... Dun ask me how they can do it... I guess... When you gotta go... you gotta go... =)

Eid Festival

2005-01-19T08:45:00.000+06:00

This is just gonna be a short one to let you all back home know what's coming up here...

It's the Eid Festival... Where the Muslims here slaughter animals in remembrance of Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac(or Ishmael rather) and how God stopped him... (My dear cell... I hope you know this story well... Sulih dear... Time for bible quiz... haha!) Yes... It is rather interesting how close Islam's Koran is to the Bible... But, I assure you, the two religions are very very different...

For the locals, it's a time to pack themselves into buses and head to their villages for the festival... However, I do know of some who are not gonna do that... They are just going to slaughter here in Dhaka...

For us foreigners, it's a four day holiday starting tomorrow... The Eid also means that the shops will be closed, the streets will be quiet (save for the occasional slaughter which i hear takes place on the streets), and there would be no place for us to eat cos everything is closed... Hmm... Quite an exciting holiday eh?

Oh well... Hope we will be able to scrounge up some food... =)

The one with the happy tidings…

2005-01-19T08:00:00.000+06:00

Before I start, you must tell me what you think this blog is about…

A promotion? Yeah right…
A raise? I wish…
More work? Can you be more imaginative?
A new buy? Quite possible… But no…

Give up? This blog is centred around marriage! =)

No…I have NOT found myself a Bangladeshi Boyfriend and I have NOT eloped with him behind my parents’ backs, and I have NOT gotten myself pregnant with a Bangladeshi baby who will be born in Singapore when I’m in the midst of my exams…. (That one is for my dear friends back home who have the most exciting imaginations… My cousin Darren is one of them…)

And it would be nice if this blog was actually about my own sister’s wedding… But, as seeing how I have spent so little time at home lately and now know very little about her wedding plans… I figured I should leave that bit out… But I will definitely blog about her wedding in March… When I get home to broadband and price tags that don’t ever hit $100… So stay tuned for that one….

Ok… So who’s marriage are we talking about?

It’s not any particular couple actually… It’s about this trend I noticed around here… People here marry very young!!

Perhaps it’s just the people who work here… Most, if not all, of the people here in Drik are married or are married with children… No matter whether they are good-looking or not… They are all married! (And they all have very darling and good-looking children for that matter…) I’ll give a few examples… Not gonna talk about everyone in Drik, but just my favourite people…

Like my boss Reza… He’s married… Though no kids yet… He’s really suave and very good looking… Interestingly, I think he looks better now than he did a few years back… (saw some pictures).. One of the lucky few who look better as they age… (Like my daddy!)

Atiq, my friendly giant with the pleasant disposition, he’s married, and has a very handsome tall son… I have to mention tall cos the boy looks way older than he is… He takes after his dad in height… Atiq also has a darling little girl who has really cute curls and adores him to no end!

Tutul, much more senior than most of us, about 40… Married with two very young sons… They started having kids much later I guess… The younger one is only six months old! The older one, Raiyan is very chatty and friendly…

Siraj, the multimedia team leader with the Japanese wife… Guess that says pretty much everything… Except that his wife just gave birth to a 2.5kg baby boy on Monday night! He was so excited he came to office the next day with sweet desserts for everyone!

Nazrul, from library, with the nice greenish eyes… He looks very striking because of his eyes… And he's very young… He’s my Er Jie’s age… And he’s married too! His wife is only 20… So they won’t be having children until his wife finishes school…

According to my very neutral source Rajib (he’s 28 and not even close to getting married), most of the marriages here are arranged by the family…And only a few are love marriages… I dunno… I find it a strange arrangement… Arranged marriages… I know it happens… But I’m not used to that idea… Guess that comes from my upbringing in Singapore where all marriages are love marriages…

But anyway, I asked Rajib why he wasn’t married… He said it’s cos he doesn’t look good… I dun believe that… I think he looks way better than some other people in Drik (those I didn’t mention) and those people are married… I didn’t tell him that though… cos according to him, his family had tried to arrange a few marriages for him, but no girl wanted him… Ouch! Personally, I think they’re blind… He’s such a nice guy… A little on the soft spoken side… But such a sweet guy!

It’s not to say that love marriages are totally dead here…just may not be quite so popular with the older folk… Shalini’s friend Rokon, who is about 25 and working in his own little advertising firm is married… It was a love marriage and his wife’s family refused to recognize it… So his wife still stays with her family and not with him… Last I heard, I think they are going to elope! Seriously! I’m not kidding!

Oh well… As much as I love attending weddings…(They make me feel so happy for the couple and very hopeful and positive about my own in future…) I am very uncomfortable with the idea of marrying so young! I once had a really terrible nightmare, when I was here in Dhaka… I dreamt that my ex boyfriend proposed to me and I agreed to marry him…

You must be wondering why it was a nightmare… Let me explain… The person I was to marry was not my boyfriend… only a good friend… At the time, I did not have any boyfriend... So in my dream, I was preparing for my wedding… My relatives were coming to me congratulating me on my getting married and asking who it was that I was marrying! That’s quite terrible isn’t it? Then I started questioning myself… “Why am I getting married? I'm not ready to spend the rest of my life with anyone!" I even said… “Why am I getting married at 21? I’m too young to get married!”

That’s when I woke up…

I concluded a few things about that dream…
1) I should not be hasty when I get proposed to… Especially when the person proposing isn’t even my boyfriend… Even if it means being left on the shelf…
2) I must be very clear why I am getting married when I do… And know what I am getting myself into… the commitment needed is for a LIFETIME…(I’m a commitment phobe btw..)
3) I must not get married when I am still so young and have no idea what I really want… And do not even have the ability to support myself… much less a family….

Ok… So it seems like I am thinking too much about marriage… But I’m not really… It’s just that there are far too many divorces in Singapore nowadays… And I really don’t want to be another statistic… Also, you can’t help thinking a bit about it when you look around you, and the people who should be studying in school with you, are married too… Hmm… Still can’t imagine any of my classmates getting married….

Goethe Institut

2005-01-18T23:30:00.000+06:00

So much for having a slow night...

As soon as I finished that blog about the field day... I had another little adventure... Shalini came and asked me to go for an exhibition with her...

It was an exhibition of a few photography students who had taken part in a workshop conducted by a very famous female photographer... I can't remember her name right now... I was keen to go because I knew some of the photographers... One was Nazrul, the other was Prince... I especially wanted to see Prince's work because Jess & I had helped to edit his copy...

The exhibition was at the Goethe Institut... Just for information sake, the Lonely Planet book is wrong... At least the 2000 version that I have... In the book, Goethe Institut is in actual fact... Rifles Square... A FAMOUS LANDMARK! Such a terrible mistake! I found out because I was trying to locate Rifles from the map and found Goethe Institut in it's place... On top of that, Atiq mentioned that Goethe was not even near there... It was much nearer to Pathshala...

Now I even know where Goethe Institut is... Cos we walked there from Pathshala... It's just further south of Mirpur Road... "Take that! Lonely Planet!"

The exhibition hall (room actually) is very nice! When we arrived, the person who's in charge of Goethe was giving a speech... Then afterwards, our Big Boss gave a speech... When that was done, we got to see the pictures...

Seriously, I think most of them need some form of copy editting... The English was really really bad! It's the translators' fault... The photographers wrote their copy in Bengali and got it translated... Good grief! I think it might have spoilt the effect of the pictures...

I like the pictures though... They were very well taken... Whether or not the pictures told the story and whether the copy fitted together is another thing altogether... I think Shyam(my sup) would have told them to go reshoot or choose other pictures to make it go with the story... But they(the photographers) did everything themselves and even managed to fit their stories into the theme of "Resistance"...

I was very proud of them... =)

And for a final note, I really like the rooftop of the Goethe Institut. That's where they were serving refreshments after the exhibition... It was very breezy and nice... Like Arabella said... It's very surreal... (Arabella is one of the two new ladies who have come to Pathshala... She's the one with the assignment... The other one is Diya, the assistant-with-a-mouth-piercing...)

And so with tea(as usual) and cookies, we concluded that trip to the exhibition at Goethe Institut...

Field Day...

2005-01-18T17:25:00.000+06:00

I think I accomplished quite a lot today... Ironically, not in the office... In fact, I'm already back in Pathshala... Surprised? Read on...

Had a bad day today... In the morning at least... Woke up with a headache and was feeling very tired... There wasn't much to do in the studio because the gallery (where we were supposed to shoot the big items) was booked for another exhibition... It's more like a clothing sale... Very fancy clothes and dresses... Jess & I got a sneak preview... It's way expensive!

Something really funny happened at the Studio though... I was sitting in there waiting for the shoot to start... There are these two guys who are in charge of the products... Really nice people... What happened was... Once of them was on the phone... The other standing very close behind... The passage where they were, was rather small because of all the chairs and things lying around... Moin came in and walked between the two guys... The one who was behind stepped backwards, found no place to step on, and fell backwards on to one of the chairs. He nearly fell off the chair too! And it happened right in front of me! The guy and I couldn't stop laughing!! That was the only thing that made me stop feeling sad for a while...

You must be wondering why I wasn't working... I mean, I'd stopped being a slacker hadn't I?

There was some work to do... With regards to the projects that the Big Boss had talked to Jess & I about... The unpleasant thing is this other guy who is supposed to be working on these projects together with us... And believe me... I have a bone to pick with this person... He's been assigning Jess & I work to do when he doesn't know what the project is about... He never even read the proposals that the Big Boss emailed to the three of us... He gave us all the work that he was supposed to do, and continued with the report he's been working on for the last two months! After he gives us the work, he tells us we must get the work done quickly because there is a deadline.... Thanx a lot for being incompetent!

There's a lot more bad air about this guy but i'm going to stop here... I'm just going to say that since Jess & I were expected to work with him, our work morale has dipped to an all time low... At least, Jess & I can work on our own without his help... Not that he was any to begin with... I'm proud to say that I still did my work... Even if I was feeling miserable... Atiq's music helped... I categorically refused to work in the same room as that horrible man and went back to my familiar place... Publications... Atiq is such a nice guy... and the music he plays makes you happy too! Bryan Adams... Never appreciated his music until now...

Faced with that unpleasant working partner... And the horrible headache.. and the fact that there was little to be done in the studio and I had no laptop to do work on, I got really depressed... Again... Kept feeling miserable until Jess finally got me to go down for tea with her... (Tea sort of saved the day again)... We had tea... Then went out to the mini store just outside drik...(Drik property too..) First time I went there... I love it... It's really cute... We bought a butter cake... (Now that I mentioned it... It's in Drik's fridge... Oh well...) Then Jess said she wanted to buy stationery... I knew where the place is in theory... Siraj told me about it... So, armed with that little bit of knowledge about the place, Jess & I went to explore...

And we found the place! It's a shopping centre called Shankar Plaza. There isn't much there, but there are a few stationery shops.... And we found a cyber cafe with broadband connection! cost Tk25 per hour! And they open 7 days a week! You know what's the best part? There is this little clothing shop with very nice punjabis costing about Tk400 and Tk500... And the designs were really quite nice! Jess & I are so going back there to buy some clothes... I already saw an outfit I liked...

And if you think that's all the things we did today? You got another think coming... When we got back to the office, Jessica received a little receipt from the office... It was the parcel her family had sent her... Or at least, it was a little notification that her parcel had arrived... We had to go down all the way to the General Post Office in Motijheel(The economic centre of Dhaka) to pick it up... It's a half an hour journey by CNG or cab... If there is no traffic jam...And if we didn't go and get it in two days, it would get thrown out or get lost during the long holidays coming up this weekend...

So Jess, Shalini & I left work early to pick up the parcel... It took forever to get a cab... We couldn't even get one... We got a CNG instead... The trip there was quite ok... The journey was really half an hour... Jess & I tried to follow where we were... Using the outdated map in the lonely planet book... We gave up after a while... But the CNG driver knew the place well... And He got us to the place safely... The GPO was chaotic... It's a good thing we had asked Faruk for advice about the place beforehand and we managed to find the department quickly... The place looked a mess! And everyone was directing us everywhere else! Good grief! Thank goodness this man came along... He knew exactly what to do and helped Jess out... The whole procedure didn't take too long... and we were out of the GPO in about twenty minutes... Didn't even get asked for a bribe! Shalini said it was faster because we were foreigners...

The streets there were really really chaotic! The cars there were even more fierce and frightening than the ones on Mirpur Road... There were also a lot more beggars and they were more persistent than the ones we get here at Dhanmondi... There were plenty of street stalls selling nice shawls and clothes... But the place was so messy and plus Jess was carrying a parcel... We just wanted to get away as quickly as possible... It didn't seem too safe for the three of us to explore on our own... We found a cab on the street in the middle of a red light and hopped on back to Pathshala...

So that's why I'm here writing this blog... After that experience at the GPO... I think I'll know what to expect when my parcel from home arrives in two weeks... Right now, I actually want to go explore the shopping on Mirpur road again... (The Motijheel eperience made me appreciate the "peace & quiet" over here more)...And I want to see that Shankar Plaza shop again... But I think... I need to sleep... I don't really want to get another "Matha Batha" or headache tomorrow... I still have to work with that annoying guy... And I'm gonna need my wits and strength...

Look who's working now!!

2005-01-17T09:10:00.000+06:00

Hahaha! I'm working!

We started work on the catalog yesterday... Shooting the products in the studio. I was the “art director”... that's what my boss introduced me as... It just means that I help to give opinions and ideas for the arrangements. As a sort of proof that I was doing work, Amin took pictures of my doing some arrangements.. too bad he didn’t manage to catch the moments when I stuck my tongue out at him for doing something so silly…

It's really like some fashion shoot... the way we fuss over every detail and how everything must look perfect... eg. the fruits had to be treated with mustard oil to make them look fresher... the stems had to be freshly cut before every scene so that everything looks fresh... even the flowers had to be carefully chosen... but we let up sometimes... when the flowers dun look all that great... my boss says it's ok... that can be edited in the photoshop afterwards...

With all this fuss, it's just like how my sister had her wedding shoot... ok.. so my models were little containers and vases and such... but you know... same thing...

You wanna know what’s cool about the whole photo shoot? We used food… To put in the containers… and you know what happens to the food after the shoot? We eat them! (The eatable ones of cos..) I had cake, puffed rice balls, popcorn, and a strange fruit… this fruit that grows inside a coconut... once the coconut started sprouting a plant… smells and tastes just like coconut oil... chewy… can’t get used to it…. My boss and everyone likes to make jokes... Eg. Make you eat something that isn't edible or nice or something... So the rule of the thumb is, I only eat what I see them eating...

Work finished about six... and the rest of the guys stayed later... to do more shoots... My boss joked and said he'd dock one hour worth of my pay... then i told him i wasn't getting paid... haha! Now seriously, my boss is a really funny guy... Recently, he had taken to not translating everything he says to me... It used to be that he'd speak English to me and jess and Bengali to everyone.. Now, it's Bengali to everyone else and me! Just because I once guessed correctly what he was saying to Shalini.. And come on... anyone could have guessed that one... He had gotten his tea... then came back in again and said something about "chini"(sugar).. what would you think? He was asking for more sugar for his tea! From then on, he's convinced he must help me understand Bengali...

The other people in my department are really cool too... Atiq has been doing funny things like cluck his tongue so that it makes a loud sound... and snapping his fingers at my face... I'd been trying to do them back... but the clucking sound i make is really pathetic compared to his... Yup... Now you know what really goes on in a photoshoot... that was just during the in between moments when my boss and the photographer Moin are in deep discussion about the lighting... Not that we don't help... but we try not to get in the way... And besides... we're very good at holding reflectors and table cloths for the shoots... I think table cloth holders and reflector holders should not say too much in case you distract the photographer.. what do you think?

Here's the other accomplishment that I think I have to mention… Jess and I have gotten more and more independent with every trip out on our own.. We've been going out on our own to go shopping and changing money and looking for food... We'd explored a large part of mirpur road on our own already.. that's the major road... and dhanmondi 27.. the road leading to mirpur from Drik.... and of cos panthapath... the road outside Pathshala... Yesterday, we went looking for a very highly recommended bookstore... It wasn't all that great... didn't have a lot of stuff... I wanted to buy a thin book... imported... about poetry... it cos 9.99 pounds... and do you know how innocent that sounds?? it costs over Tk1000!! That's insane!!! I know that's S$30 but I still don't like the idea of paying over a thousand dollars on any book... whatever currency it is... I'm getting the book from Borders...

There's one more thing... The three of us have started sitting three to a rickshaw now... It's really fun and it saves us a lot of money... This is how it works... The person sitting at the top gets on first, sits on the backing of the seat (it's thick enough and sturdy)... The next person sits between the legs of the top person and the last one squeezes in the seat... It's easier than it sounds... and you get a great view at the top! I really like sitting on top now... The only thing is... with no cushioning, it really hurts the behind when the rickshaw goes over a pothole.. Not as bad as the poor rickshaw driver who has to move us all...

So yup... that's the report of yesterday... gotta go for breakfast now... I'm late for work!

Things are starting to happen!

2005-01-15T23:55:00.000+06:00

The old days of slacking are over!

The Big Boss is finally back in Bangladesh… For the past few weeks when I was here, he had gone down to Sri Lanka to see if he could be of any help… He gave out necessities and took pictures and has tons of stories of accounts of survivors…

When he got back on Friday, he came to visit me and Jess at Pathshala that evening… “A social call” he called it… He’s really approachable and knowledgeable… He’s got a head of black hair, and a graying beard and moustache… Always wears traditional Begali outfits… Yet still looks rather cosmopolitan… He speaks English exceedingly well, and sounds really mature and sophisticated if you know what I mean… He’s got a certain air about him… the air of a really capable man…

Now that he’s back, the whole place is starting to buzz with activity… Slackers are coming to work on time, (this time I don’t mean me… I’m always on time…) or are coming to work at all… (when they previously never bothered..)… The Big Boss spoke to Jess and I about some new ideas that he hopes we can help out with… It sounds like a lot of fun…Just hope Jess and I are up to it… There are also two new ladies at Pathshala from England… One is a photographer with an assignment to complete, the other is her travel companion and assistant… They’re gonna be here for some 3 weeks… And they all seem like a lot of fun to talk to!

Just tonight, we went to Tutul’s home for dinner… The Big Boss, Shalini, Jess, Atiq, Reza, the two new ladies and I… Tutul’s elder son Raiyan is so cute! Too bad I couldn’t quite understand him… All I tried to say to him was “Ekhane Asho” or “come here”… But he couldn’t even understand that…Sad eh? But he understands when I point out something and say “Ekta Ki?” (What’s that?)… And I could make out when he said camera… Yay!

Tomorrow, we’re finally starting the shoot for the catalog of cane handicrafts… I looked the products over and you know what? I think my mum would love all that stuff!! She’s crazy about cane furniture and baskets… The studio was full of those things… Too bad I can’t buy those…They’re for exports… But I’d definitely try to buy stuff like it for my mum… Think she’d be pleased to no end!

More tomorrow!

The Thing I Miss the Most

2005-01-14T23:55:00.000+06:00

~Listening to John Mayer’s “Daughters”~

"Fathers be good to your Daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers
Who turn into Mothers
So Mothers be good to your Daughters too"

I never knew until now, that when you’re away from home for so long… There’s only one thing that you’ll miss more than everything else… Something that you’ll miss so much that you’re willing to spend twenty minutes everyday just dialing to make an international call… Your family…

I may have stayed in hostel for all of my University life. But, I’ve never missed home or called home as often as I have done here… My roaming sim card is carefully locked up… I refuse to bring it around with me in case I lose it or get mugged… I figured that no matter how bad things get here, with that sim card, I will still be able to call home and hear everyone’s voices… And that would make everything ok…

The photos of my parents, my sisters and my brother-in-law (to be), are proudly displayed on my shelf, where I can see them as soon as I get back to my room… Whenever I get homesick, I would re-read the card they all wrote for me… or read the emails they send me... (Thinking about it even brings tears to my eyes now…)… In fact, this blog is kept updated because I know they are reading it... It makes them feel I'm not very far away... The way I feel when I get nice emails from them...

At one point, I was even taking my vitamins every day because it reminded me of my mother…

In the song “Daughters”, John Mayer was trying to teach fathers and mothers to love their daughters… But, my parents don’t need to learn that… This daughter is the most loved girl in the world… Together with her two other equally loved sisters…

I think my family is pretty great in that way…

My parents always made time for us… We’d celebrate every special occasion… (usually a fancy dinner out… and if it’s a birthday… then a cake and presents as well)… We’d go shopping together… go on holidays together… And we discussed everything together as a family… Things like holiday destinations, major changes/plans/decisions/problems, or any expensive item that someone wants to buy… We’re pretty democratic in that way…

My Daddy is the kindest man in the world… Even his employees love working for him! He can chat up any stranger and make the person feel very at ease. (I’ve seen him do it tons of times and it still amazes me…) He hardly ever scolds, only hit me once (when I’d been really disobedient, and even then, he was tearing when he did it) and he’s very loving and careful with us… You know, he’d always come to me and my sisters and tell us that we’re the most beautiful girls in the world… Because we’re his daughters...

My Mummy spends all her time and energy to make sure we turn out all right… She takes time to know us, know our friends, and to find out what is happening with us. Whenever I’m alone with her, I would just tell her everything… I can’t keep anything from her… She’s the disciplinarian, and also the comforter… I still run to her for hugs... And let her sniff my forehead… (Her favourite habit…) She knows exactly what food we like and dislike and prepares for us wonderful “ai xin can” (meals made with love)… Home just wouldn’t feel the same without the smell of good home cooked food wafting out of the kitchen…

We aren’t filthy rich or anything… My sisters and I never got everything we wanted… (I was pretty close to that… But that’s just the privilege of being the youngest…) But that was ok… We live very comfortably… (I may be biased but I think our home is the coziest and most beautiful place ever…) My sisters and I share one room… kinda like the goldilocks’ three bears with 3 beds side by side… It’s very conducive for doing silly things (like dancing around and singing, or making silly jokes) and talking at night when we can’t sleep… Sometimes we’d leave notes for each other… on Er Jie’s Magna Doodle… That was rather nice…

There’s one other thing about my family. They are very very brave… To have let me come to Bangladesh on my own… I know they were all very worried… (Probably still are) My mother was so worried she couldn’t sleep for nights before I left… It’s a big adventure for them and for me… It’s kinda like the song by Corrinne May “Fly Away”…(I have a link to the MTV.)

“You can fly so high.
Keep your gaze upon the sky.
I’ll be praying every step along the way.
Even though it breaks my heart to know
we’ll be so far apart.
I love you too much
to make you stay.
Baby fly away.”

I may have decided to come to Dhaka, in part because I had to stop being babied by them… To learn to make decisions on my own, and to grow up… But I could never turn my back on them… They are God’s wonderful gift to me… My family has been my strength and refuge. Even when the world is mean and horrible, I know I will find love and acceptance in them… All of them… My Daddy, My Mummy, My Da Jie & My Er Jie…

My little oasis...

2005-01-13T20:45:00.000+06:00

This afternoon, I discovered a tiny little piece of Heaven... Right in the middle of Dhaka... And it's but a 10min walk away from Drik!

It's a tiny little cafe called "Grill & Chill"... And believe me, it's really a great place to chill...

The whole place is really nice, air-conditioned, with nice tables and seats... The deco is very modern and pleasing... Even a corner table with a sofa... When we were in there, they were playing John Mayer and the mood of the whole place was so cosy and comfortable... (Think I want to get that album now...)... The place is owned by Benson & Hedgers (I could tell cos the logo was embossed on a glass panel right in the middle of the restaurant, and they were selling Benson cigarettes at the counter), but smoking isn't allowed in it, so the place doesn't smell musky at all...

Most of the customers are middle class University students(there are several private universities around the area), with time on their hands, and money to spare. Even though the place is different, their dressing and language are different, they just remind me of me... You know... Like University students behave the same way wherever they are... Interesting...

"Grill & Chill" serves really nice food... Like steak, and pasta... Jess & I had started to miss having other types of food besides the usual curry and rice... So this was a really great discovery... Although the price is a little more than other places here... But it was basically about S$3.50 for a Double Beef Burger Meal, or a rice meal, and the most expensive dish, the steak... is only S$7... Yup!

I couldn't believe I'd find a place like that here... Right in the middle of a dusty road... Rather surreal if you think about it... It's just the kind of place I loved to hang out in, reading and having coffee... Just like I do back home...

So, if I ever need a place to chill out... I'm heading for my little oasis... =)

Occupation: Professional Bummer [In Transition]

2005-01-13T19:30:00.000+06:00

You didn't see that wrongly.... This professional bummer might just be on her way to a better career! What that career will be though, still remains to be seen.

In the previous two days, (meaning yesterday and yesterday's yesterday) she has been actually doing some work!

On yesterday's yesterday, she did cataloging of rejected slides. It was boring, mundane and it had to be done... She was actually doing someone else's job... (That someone else came into office late...)

Then yesterday, she helped to clear out the store room in publications. It was dusty! She couldn't stop sneezing, and her nose wouldn't stop running... (yeah... the nose is pretty atheletic... quite unlike the owner...) But all that did not stop her from helping to sort out all the posters and roll them up neatly and label each roll so that everyone would know what posters they were. In fact, she helped out until Atiq stopped the clearing up for the day... He stopped it before lunch...

And you know what? They didn't continue it today either! Cos Atiq said it's thursday. (Believe me, I asked him what that had to do with anything. I guess it's just the day-before-off-day syndrome) He also said it takes a lot of energy to clear out the storeroom and he didn't have the energy today. They're not that much on efficiency when it comes to these mundane tasks...

Ok... So the bummer is still a bummer... What's with the transition?

Well, here's the thing... Yesterday, Abir came to tell me about this month long "photojournalism" workshop which is going to take place here. There will be students from Pathshala, and students from Norway, and perhaps (if the big boss allows) Jessica and I could take part in it! I jumped at the offer! Jess & I both agreed that we are going to go for it!

Also, the big boss is coming back tonight, and when we get to see him, we'd probably be able to talk to him about the workshop and about the departments that we are interested in helping out in. Like Audio visual, Studio, & Publication. No library. Jess has been miserable in there all this time! We might probably be able to start doing real stuff with the different departments... Not that we haven't... Just more stuff...

And this part is the icing on the cake!

Reza came in today and told me that they took on a new project! It's a publication/ brochure about the local handicrafts... Shooting starts on Sunday, and we get to help out through the whole process! From the phototaking, to the layout, to the printing.. Everything! I was so excited that I jumped at the opportunity! Now, Jess & I are gonna get to do some REAL work!!

Say goodbye to the professional bummer! (Ok... Maybe after friday... It's my offday after all!)

Light in the Darkness

2005-01-11T23:50:00.000+06:00

What does a blackout teach you?
1) Always have a torch, a candle and some matches at hand.
2) Stock up on appliances that can run on batteries alone.
3) It is impossible not to take electricity for granted. Really.

I speak from experience. For the first time since I got here, it rained. Rained for the whole day. Almost like Singapore weather. A little miserable, a little gloomy. But hey, feels just like home! I had no complains about the rain. Besides the fact that I had put out some laundry to dry. But that’s all right… I can always wash it again…

But you know what happens when it rains in the winter? It gets really really cold. My goodness it was cold. It was so cold whenever Jess and I went up to the roof to take a break from work (yes! I worked today! Cataloging rejected slides..). We were also freezing in the rickshaw on the way back, despite the excitement of sitting in a rickshaw with the canopy up for the first time. Good thing it’s all toasty in my room now.

That’s not all. When it rains and is very cold, everything electrical starts to malfunction. There were three “explosions” at Drik today. Allow me to explain before you overreact.

The transformers are housed within the building. Whenever there is a surge in the voltage, the transformers will kinda make this really loud sound like an explosion, to correct the surge. Reza said that because of these explosions, we were kept safe. And I take his word for it. He also said that not all explosions are good… you know, like the bomb kinds… He was trying to be corny there btw… Pretty pathetic attempt, if you ask me. But he’s my boss, so I dun wanna say more.

Things were a bit worse at Pathshala. The electricity was completely out when Jess and I arrived here. Good thing we both had torches. For the beginning part, we just wandered around Pathshala playing with Noyl and Al Amin. Then, when we wanted to get warm, we went to the kitchen to boil some hot water on the stove and make some hot drinks. We didn’t even have to do a thing! Peter had enough foresight to leave us a kettle of hot water on the stove. So we made our drinks and sat in the kitchen, taking in the warmth and the whole atmosphere around us. It was really nice! All quiet and everything.

Then the lights came on!

We went back to our rooms, thinking everything was back to normal. I left my computer on, rewashed my clothes, and didn’t bother to take a shower or anything. I thought of heating up dinner, and boiling hot water for drinks. But I just assumed that the power would stay on, and went to the computer room, hoping to read my mail, write my blog and download winrar to read a rar file I got from my friend. I even started watching TV. (We get HBO & Star World btw…)

Then the power went out again.

I couldn’t believe it! This time, I didn’t know where my torch was anymore. And I was seriously upset that I had not taken care to savour every bit of electricity that I had enjoyed. Al Amin had to run out and help us buy candles. (It’s actually safer for him to run around the streets on his own at night than it is for any of us grown up girls… Says something about Kid-Power eh?). He even helped me to light it and set it up in my room cos I didn’t have any matches of my own.

Somewhere along the line, I got fed up sitting around in the dark, staring at walls and hoping that the lights would come on. I started clearing up my room with a torch. To entertain myself, and the two kids, I played my guitar, and sang the most apt song for the evening… “Light of the World”…

Lights came on again… And guess what?

I forgot about the matches, still didn’t heat up the food or boil water. I just wanted to relax, thinking that the power can’t possibly go off anymore.

It did.

So it’s true. You really don’t stop taking electricity for granted. Perhaps it comes from living in Singapore all your life, where the only time you get a blackout is like once in a long time. And even then, everyone complains and gets pissed with the power company. I think you’d get pretty hoarse if you tried complaining every time there is a blackout (already happened a few times today) or a power flicker (happens all the time.)

But let me tell you what 3 consecutive blackouts teach you.It Teaches you how to survive without electricity.

You do that by
1) Appreciating the quiet of the dark.
2) Admiring the glow of a single lit candle & listening to its crackle.
3) Being prepared for the next blackout. (The candle is now permanently fixed on my table, with matches next to it, and my torch is right beside me.)
4) Making use of appliances and other things like the guitar, that uses neither batteries nor electricity, as entertainment during the blackout.
5) Saving the battery of the laptop so that you can still write your blog in the midst of a blackout. The notebook & pen is also kept handy.
6) Preparing your things so that you can take advantage of the next power surge to boil hot water, heat up the food in the microwave, and even to take a shower before the hot water runs out. (Note: Internet was not even in the running.)

By living through several blackouts, you start to see things in a different light. (Pun fully intended).Your priorities change. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll see other lights around you. Playing the guitar was a sudden inspiration that came up during the blackout. Al Amin, although unfazed by the blackout, was so excited when I did that. He even took pictures of me, with my torch pointed at me for extra light. (Smart eh?). So, yeah… Even a blackout can be a good thing.

And you can’t even fault me for being optimistic and naïve cos the lights just went out again. =)

Daily Heart Drik News Update Broadcast

2005-01-10T13:19:00.000+06:00

Music~

Shovo Ratri. Good Evening. Here are your Drik News Updates. I am your presenter, Gwen "Yo!"

At exactly 1310hrs (Bangladesh Time) today, a small rowdy procession matched past Drik office today. One of our in-Drik reporter, Goan "Yo!" was extremely intrigued by the noise the procession was making and ran up to the rooftop to investigate further. She brought along her camera to take pictures of the scene, hoping to have something to report on, perhaps another hartal.

However, at the rooftop, the procession had gone too far for any meaningful pictures to be taken. All she could get was a picture of a group of people standing around, between the holes of the dusty trees, looking like they were shopping at the street markets. On top of that, she was told that they were only chanting "Bangladesh! Bangladesh!". The procession was in fact, a group of cricket supporters who were expressing their excitement that Bangladesh had won a cricket game in a match against India or some other country.

Our reporter was much too disappointed and embarrassed to report this piece of news herself and asked me for the favour to report it on her behalf. I hope she will recover from the embarrassment soon, as there are already so few people working on this bulletin, and added workload on this presenter might just force her to quit her job.

Now on to some business news.

The multimedia department of Drik held interviews yesterday for a new team leader. The current team leader will be leaving Drik to go to Japan on the 30th of January together with his wife, who is Japanese. Our only other reporter left Gwon "Yo!" has more.

"Hi Gwen. Although I can't imagine why reading just one more bulletin for one day would force you to quit your job, considering you are a slacker like all of us, I will refrain from saying more. The team leader is indeed married to a Japanese. The reporters of Daily Heart all agree that it is very cosmopolitan of him, despite the fact that she has been living in Bangladesh for some time and can speak some Bengali. It does not change the fact that at least one person in this place does not despise us yellow-skinned people. (Which is not to say that the others despise us, but at least we have concrete evidence about this one person.)"

"The interviews were held yesterday. This reporter found out about it when she saw two very unfamiliar, nervous and extremely tense people sitting outside the Multimedia Room. One was dressed in a nice suit, the other in a shirt with pants that look a wee bit short and with his socks folded down. This reporter undeniably feels that the first rule of having a good dress sense is that the pants should not be too short and socks must not be folded down when the first rule is broken."

"That was already a very queer sight. On top of that, Rajib was found wandering the other rooms of Drik, which is very uncharacteristic of him. He is usually at his computer, or otherwise have meals at Drik Cafe. Nowhere else. (Probably visits the toilet too, but this reporter is not a stalker and does not wish to know such details.) On interviewing the other people in publishing, this reporter found out that teamleader interviews were being carried out. On top of that, the salary of a teamleader ranges from Tk12000 to Tk14000, which is good considering that the others get only Tk8000. No wonder those two men were nervous."

"This reporter had the privilege to read the CVs of the interviewees today, when she walked into Multimedia to 'Kaypo' about the interviewees. She discovered that there was one particular candidate who looks very much like the current teamleader-with-the-Japanese-wife). However, his CV was not in the least impressive. (To this reporter at least, Jess thought it was great!) The reason this reporter was not impressed, was because she first read the CV of the guy with the pants that are too short and the socks folded down. That guy is scary! He's almost brilliant! He can do anything with a computer in terms of web designing and management, graphic and animation designing. He was the total shoo-in for the position!"

"But according to the current teamleader-with-the-Japanese-wife, they are not only looking at the knowledge and experience in Multimedia, they are looking for someone with leadership qualities (namely bigger sized). Do not ask this reporter about the logic behind this whole concept of leadership=big. It is beyond her too."

"Now back to the I-will-quit-my-job-if-I-talk-too-much-presenter, Gwen."

Thank you Gwon. I did not know Daily Heart hired a fashion commenter. She must not be an expert in it I'm sure, since she does not even shop very much or very well, and is not in the least dressy. She only wears jeans, with a tee shirt and a particular maroon jacket, with white sketchers shoes everyday. But that's just my opinion.

And for that matter, all you listeners, this presenter was not that much of a slacker today. She had been making full use of her time to obtain Adobe Illustrator in her laptop to practice what she has been learning from Atiq. She has also been looking at the nice pictures taken by the in-Drik photographers and has tried her hand at taking pictures. So far, she's developed some rolls of film and is waiting for a chance to go and get them scanned at a fuji shop, so that she can send them home via email. She can even proudly say she's learnt abit about FTP and php in web & database management, even if it isn't much.

Now where were we? Oh yes. Some travel tips for you. Please be aware that on the roads, people spit and dogs poop. WATCH WHERE YOU STEP! Also, do beware of the cars on the road. They are driven by mean, rude, arrogant rich people who can't stand anything in their way. So they will not stop for you. And, if you are in their way, you'll know. Cos they'll keep horning you until you clear their path. When this happens, do refrain from calling them a bad word. They are not worth your time or effort to do something so low-down. Instead, you could try annoying them by walking in their path for as long as possible. Although you might get hurt.

Finally, we have our new gossip columnist Gwyneth "Yo!" to fill us in on some of the daily not-at-all-important-happenings in Drik.

"Thank you, Gwen. I am new here today so I will pretend not to be offended by the snide remarks about my column. But I can assure you listeners that my news is very important information. Although there seems to be a lot of tension in this air."

"Lately, the people at Drik have been bringing their families to work, much to the amusement of this reporter and her fellow Singaporean counterpart, Jess. Atiq brought his whole family today, wife, son and daughter. The daughter looks like the mother, and is such a curious little girl, while the son has his father's eyes. This reporter feels that the son is quite a handsome young boy, even though he's rather shy. Perhaps that's his appeal. But I can assure you that this reporter does NOT go for younger guys."

"I'm sure there are other important gossip news to be reported but the air here is too tense and this reporter is now no longer able to recall any of it. So, that's all for gossip news today!"

Thank you, Gwyneth! And that's all for Drik News Updates! Stay tuned for the next update, which will be broadcast whenever this Editor decides to broadcast. After she has dealt with her unruly reporters. Daily Heart News Bulletins. Broadcasting all the news fit to broadcast!"

Music~

Editor & Scriptwriter (Off the record) - Ok! No more missing tea breaks everyone!!

Reality bites

2005-01-09T11:26:00.000+06:00

Bangla Lesson #6
Ami Kelanto - I'm sleepy
Ami Khudarto - I'm hungry

This entry had been brewing in my mind for sometime, but i had been very unwilling to entertain it. I felt that I had presented such a good side of Dhaka & Bangladesh, that I couldn't bring myself to shatter.

You must be wondering if I am feeling depressed again. Don't worry. I'm not. Still feeling optimistic about living here for another 5months or so.

But I knew it would be wrong for me to only present the good side. My journalistic training in school (no matter how little and pathetic that was..) had taught me to be fair and balanced in reporting news. I'm sure that even if I had continued to keep this entry out of my blog, you (my rational & sensible readers) would have started to wonder if I was telling the whole truth. I mean, you'd start to think "this place almost sounds perfect! what's wrong with it?"

So, this is the entry of the low down... Not the "real" side, since everything else I said about this place is also real... This is simply my attempt to balance the good stuff I'd written with some bad stuff... It brings more credibility to my writing, it gives you at home a more holistic picture... and... it just might unclog the block i've been getting everytime I refused to entertain this idea (cos my conscience is dogging me).

There are just so many things here that upset me.

I'm in the region called Dhanmondi. It's quite a posh place. There are lots of very modern apartment buildings. From what I heard from Topu, the apartments here are very expensive. But Dhanmondi is not the most expensive place. The most expensive areas are like Gulshan, where all the filthy rich stay.

I don't know about Gulshan, since I haven't been there yet. But here in Dhanmondi, you see the comfortable looking children staring out of the apartment windows, while out on the street, there are little boys walking around barefoot and are all dirty and don't even have a shirt on in the winter time. Not so bad.

Once a group of about 4 cars drove by Drik as Jess, Topu and I were walking out. Each car held four rowdy guys who were sitting on the doors, shouting to the people on the streets and giving them "the finger". The rich men's sons... With money flowing through their blood and looking down on the less fortunate.

I was appalled! How could they be so horrible? I wanted to call them a bad word/name. But I would rather leave it to your imagination, to know what I mean. I know that I come from a very comfortable environment. I'm not on the same league as those less fortunate that I now see so often. But I would never dream of looking down on them. I have admiration for the way they survive, even though it's so tough! Although, there are exceptions.

I heard from Shalini that the beggars on the streets are sometimes hired by people to go and beg. The money doesn't go to these people. They go to the people who hired them. Even when you see a woman with a baby or a child, chances are, that child is not hers! I'm not too sure about all this but the whole idea is, giving money to beggars on the street may not be the best way to help them.

I know I complained to my family about the lack of job opportunities back home. That's like a total understatement for the people here.

English education here is the most expensive compared to the English schools in the region like in India and Sri Lanka. So, only the really rich can learn English. The people working at Drik with me have been trying to improve their English to be more effective in their work. But there is just no place that they can learn it! They aren't even poor. They are doing ok with their jobs in Drik and outside. Even they can't afford it, so which of the poor people can?

How about domestic violence? Recently, I heard Mothi shouting at his wife. Shalini said that he was beating her. Wife-beating is very very common. Drik once had an exhibition of photos of victims to domestic violence. This is the way men see their wives, as things to be disciplined through beating. What ever happened to loving your wife as your own flesh? Treating her as a precious part of your body? Holding her at your side? Protecting her?

I saw that Noyl was in the room where the fight was going on, and I wondered if he would grow up thinking that women are to be beaten into submission. The thought still sends a shiver down my spine...

Now, let's talk about the hartal, or the strike, that happened yesterday.

What is your impression of strike? Something very spontaneous perhaps? Happens as and when it happens right? Well, whatdyaknow... It was announced in the Daily Star yesterday! "Huh?" FYI, newspapers can't print news that is happening right now. It can only print yesterday's news... This means to say, the strikers announced that they are going to have a strike the day before. It's pretty considerate, I guess, cos then people can know to stay at home.

I still feel rather uncomfortable about the whole thing... From today's newspapers, the police clubbed down the demonstrators. Of which, 50 of them were women. Ouch! The strike was called by the opposition party as a protest against a particular international meeting which was initially scheduled for today. The reporter was unhappy that the opposition parties were always trying to tarnish the reputation of the country in front of other nations.

I don't think i'm in the position to judge which is more upsetting. The women demonstrators being clubbed down or those very same women protesting that their country be involved with international affairs. But what I do know is, I think the general public suffered the most. Chittagong had to declare a half day yesterday and so a lot of businesses in that area were affected. Travel all over Bangladesh was affected because a lot of large vehicles were not on the road. The strike was a full day thing and people stayed off the roads until after 6. If anything, the strike was not benefitting the general public.

Now there is talk about banning strikes here. I think, that as long as the poor people aren't made much worse than they are... Go right ahead!

All these injustices can't go away overnight. Not expecting it to. But, I think, it would still be nice to continue dreaming of a better future... If no one else will, I will....

Hartal!

2005-01-08T11:34:00.000+06:00

Bangla Lesson #5
Hartal - Strike
Shoja Jabo - Go straight
Bam - Left
Din - Right
Rakho - Stop

Disclaimer: (A little late, but oh well.. I discovered that I'm educating a whole class of Singaporeans in Bengali, so i think i better come clean...)

"Ami Dukhito".. That means i'm sorry... (Sounds uncannily like Prophetic class eh?)... The spelling of the words in Bengali are not always the correct ones... Sometimes, I put in my own spelling, the way I heard people pronounce it... In certain cases, the way I spell it could help prospective Begalis from back home communicate better with the real Bengalis over here... (Cos seriously, the way it is spelt here, just doesn't sound the same as how they say it... I would know... When Rajib says something and I ask him to spell it, I'd pronounce it the way it is spelt, and he corrects me... uh.. hmm ok... so sometimes I give up on his spelling.)

The reason my conscience caught up to me today, was the fact that I was talking to Azmat yesterday. He's Lionel's fren. A true blue Bangladeshi. And He was telling me some things in Bengali. I tell you, his spelling is a whole lot classier than mine... Eg. He drinks "dudh cha chini beshi" (beshi is more)... looks better than my "dud cha cheeni kom" right?. He says "thigase" (ok), while i would have spelt it "tik asey". Same thing, different spelling. His definitely looks better right? But I still insist that I will keep spelling it my way cos it's easier to pronounce. At least, now all my "students" are aware that they are not getting the right spelling all the time... But they can be sure that they are getting the right pronounciation. =P

Now back to my main topic... I'm quite long-winded, aren't I? Must be the teacher instinct...

Today is hartal. Yup... Don't panic. I didn't see a single act of violence or any striker anywhere... It just means that all the large vehicles are not around on the road and that rickshaws could go anywhere they want. (or rather anywhere we want).

Jess & I were supposed to go to Drik on our own cos Jess got up late and Shalini was late for work.. was quite funny.. Like we were going for an exam or something... We were asking Peter how to tell the rickshaw driver that we wanted to go to Drik. And over breakfast we were reciting important words and phrases and writing notes into our textbooks... (really Macam morning before exams sia...)

Normally, rickshaws don't come in front of pathshala because it's near a VIP road where rickshaws are not allowed to travel on, but today.. they were streaming down our street... We were amazed and we got on a rickshaw... We had no idea what was going on... Until we saw a string of policemen closing off the road we usually go on... like... Woah! After that, Jess was worried that we were lost... The rickshaw driver just took the next road and I directed him to Drik... Using the most useful words in the Bengali language... "Bam", "Din", & "Rakho". We got to Drik safely.

There's the other perk of having a Hartal... Siraj, whose comp i'm using now, is stuck at his home village cos the large vehicles are not allowed on the road... So i get to use his comp all day!!! yay!!

I don't think I'd be quite so excited about the hartal if i saw the fighting and the bloodshed or something... For now, i'm just stuck in my cosy, safe little haven called Drik... Guess I'll just learn to appreciate the little moments of security I feel now... Until it gets shattered later on or something...

Scent of familiarity...

2005-01-07T19:36:00.000+06:00

Playing in Background - Some Bengali Movie
Screams of a woman being tortured...
A powerful woman enters and shuts up the torturers.
Dramatic music
Cutaway
It is the sinister-looking bad guy! With big hair!
Powerful woman fights him... Loses!
Next enters macho man in red leather sleeveless suit
Argues with sinister man... (Hello?? Start fighting already!!)

Familiar? Not to me... I mean, I can't even understand a word they are saying! I'm just trying to keep myself from trashing the show in front of Alamin, who is obviously enthralled by the show. Fine, I'm not a big fan of Indian or Bengali films... "So sue me"... (But give me a chance ah... Jess Shalini and I are gonna watch Bride and Prejudice tonight...)

So what is familiar around here? Let me put things into context for you Little Island Dwellers..

How about the fried rice Peter made for our lunch today... It smelled totally like our hainanese chicken rice! Last night we had some kind of chicken stew... Jess said it smelt like the kind of dish her mother makes... The cool local snack fushka reminded me of our kweh pie tie... It's an egg shaped shell. They smash a hole at the top and put in mash potatoes mixed with onions and some other stuff... You eat it by drizzling a sour sauce over it and stuffing the whole thing into your mouth.. (Ok, maybe that last bit is just for me..)

The pirated DVD shops here are like those the Nightbirds frequent whenever we go JB. Only these come in proper cases. Talk about service ok. Each disc is Tk90. or S$3. I bet Ivan is drooling already. And the layout of the shopping centre was a bit like queensway.

When we went to Rifles ... A shopping centre... We saw a cool shop that only sells white and black stuff...Clothes mainly... Ok, so they lied... They sold silver stuff as well! If you have known me long enough... You would know of my first hotmail account... blackwhitesilver... There was one little corner that sold the ornaments... And for the moment when I stood at that corner, I felt at home again... (I'm a silver ornament collector...btw) Too bad there was nothing for me to buy... I even felt the familiar boredom from being in a shopping centre with no silver shop or other worthwhile shop to visit. (Sheesh... I tried not to be a nuisance by trying to look around.. But I really couldn't stop the yawning...)

But the one familiar thing that really caught my eye (actually my nose, rather) was the smell I smelt when i was walking along the street of Pathshala. Shalini and Jess and I were looking for a DVD rental shop. That's where we got our Bride and Prejudice. It was a smelt that was locked into my brain for eternity have being subjected to it time and time again in large doses. It was not a smell I enjoyed, but willingly I allowed myself to breathe it in. It was the sacrifice I made, to experience something even more desirable(dubious eh? read on..)!!! Sometimes, I'd smell it twice a week, but usually it was much more. Especially during the last semester!!!!

What was it? Hold your noses cos it was..... [drum roll]

MARK'S CAR AIR FRESHENER SCENT!!!!!!!

"What?? You mean that's it? Why did you ask us to hold our noses for?"

Well, cos it's really not that fantastic a smell... But as all fresheners go... It does it's job... Useful for when the male counterparts of the Nightbirds have been standing around under the hot sun (why they wanna do that, I have no idea...), or if they've been busy helping the only weak and innocent and gentle female counterpart of the Nightbirds to move out of her hostel. (Which she does every semester.. and dun forget the moving in too)... You will be very grateful for ANY kind of freshener...

But, allow me to get back to my point.

The moment I smelt that car scent, I started to recall the fond(and not so fond) memories of the Nightbird. Just to set the record straight... I had absolutely nothing to do with that name. I dunno which one of the two male counterparts of the Nightbirds came up with it. It's supposed to be like one of those car gangs in Initial D (of which we are all big fans)... Somehow we just ended up with a name which is really not cool... But what I do know is, I got stuck with it unwittingly, and I was even coerced into using the strange, but rather cute, logo that our arty farty counterpart came up with using msn icons.

So, Nightbirds. Consists of three members: The driver and perpetual treater(he doesn't offer.. we have to make him do it.. i mean, of cos he has to do it.. he's the only one with $$ to spare!) Mark! His sexy silver civic (new car. old one was red & equally sexy), knowledge of car parts, cars on the road and even the drivers of each car makes us a total shoo-in as a car gang... Even makes up for this particular clueless member who just likes driving... The last member, and the tallest, is Ivan. Affectionately known as "sidekick" by my sisters. He's the poetic, literary one. Been getting pretty emotional and sensitive and all that lately... It's the arts influence, I tell you... Specifically, the arts people (think about it... arts is what? 75% female... and Ivan is straight... Know what I'm getting at?)

Nightbird activity: (FYI, we dun fly or chirp around and peck at worms) We go out at night for a drive in Mark's sexy car (Esp. Ivan's favourite.. KCKW), go watch a DVD at Mark's home, or watch Initial D at my hall... But most importantly, we partake of our most dubious desirable activity... drink tehping... Sometimes at Fong Seng... Actually no... Most of the time at Fong Seng. We did this for a whole semester. As soon as one of us was bored at home, Mark would pick us up, and the Nightbirds would be on their way.

It's been a while since we had a Nightbird gathering... Miss the guys actually. They're quite cool... (Sometimes...) After smelling that car scent, I really wish I could call up Mark and that he could drive up to my door, with Ivan in the front seat. I would climb into the back seat, sit specifically behind Ivan so that I can torture him.. We'd drive around town, sometimes trying to play with the tiong cars on the streets, other times trying to hide from the Fuzz, but most of the time drinking our Tehping and crapping at the coffeshop (Ivan and I have a habit of torturing each other at times... then Mark has to step in... Other times, we share secrets and hid it from Mark till he gets annoyed...) We'd stay there till we got tired and needed to go home cos there's school the next day... And the Nightbirds would return to their nests...

Now... That's familiar...

Anyway, if you're curious about how that Bengali movie ended... Last time I checked, the sinister bad guy with the big hair breathes his last breath and dies. The hero is the man in the red leather sleeveless suit. But even he has been injured in the sword fight and falls dramatically to the ground (with the dramatic background music of cos). Then the women from everywhere (those tortured by the sinister bad guy with the big hair) run to him and surround him and tell him not to die.

What kind of an ending is that? Oh well... At least Alamin liked it..

That little spot of tea....

2005-01-06T16:12:00.003+06:00

Bangla Lesson #4
Decka Hobit - See You
Abat Decka Hobit - See You Later
Chah - Tea
Dud - Milk
Cheeni - Sugar
Kom - Less

To the many of the avid fans of this blog, this entry may come as a surprise to you. So far, this silly gal has been oblivious to the meaning of sadness and disappointment, and every entry she's written has been one of enthusiasm, excitement and optimism, maybe irrational and naive but optimistic nonetheless. (don't count the crying bits)

Well guess what? I got really depressed today....

Not the serious kind that needs medical attention, but the kind that comes and goes. Like a thick cloud that just descends upon you when you least expect or desire it. Once it happens, all you see around you is.... Gloom... I didn't even want to blog!... That could be bcos of the really good blog i wrote yesterday. (someone told me that he chortled thru the whole thing.. Hello? Chortled?.. Serious man...) Was pressured to match up today... Woah... No can do..

So, why did I get this? The depression I mean...

I dunno... The morning was fine... I bummed around all day again today.... (that felt abit lousy...) Like sluggish... I didn't dare to use the multimedia dept's pcs for more than an hour... Felt guilty stealling Siraj's comp... So i stuck myself in the publications dept, trying not to get too annoyed with the macs... (Mind you, Macs & this gal dun mix well... The thing kept hanging!) Also didn't talk to Amin cos there were too many people in the studio... Wanted to ask him about his assignment the day before... But couldn't... Wanted to get my lappy fixed but Wahab from Internet dept was busy again... Went to find Jess & Shalini and discovered they disappeared! (See... that's last straw like...)

And the cloud descended...

After that, I was literally rendered useless. I just felt so sad... Like no one wanted me anymore or something... I didn't feel like taking photos, didn't feel like asking Atiq to teach me Illustrator, even when i went to find Jess to chat(after they appeared again), I was still miserable... Barely wanted to surf the net... (Not that that helped... Ivan's blog really made things worse...)

But.... something really really miraculous happened.... Topu suggested going for Tea....

The tea I drink is called "dud chah cheeni kom" (Milk Tea Less Sugar). Topu made me recite that... Seriously, even though I ask for less sugar, it still doesn't taste any less sweet... And that helped! Think it's the sugar or something... I perked up after that tea session... And then I started to talk to Atiq and he taught me how to create a contact sheet using photoshop.. It's really really clever... After work, I brought Jess to the road she wanted to go... to see books and stuff... (Shalini is teaching a class today)..I even bought a nice toy gun! (For myself... cheap thrill...)...

Sidetrack... A little boy came up to us, to beg for money... Jess gave him Tk2.. And another little girl came along... I gave her Tk1 and Jess gave her Tk2... The little boy was so eager to get more from her that he followed us for 3 streets! Even waited outside the bookshop for her... But she was determined not to give anymore... So he finally got the idea and left...

The main thing is, I'm glad that depression thing went away... It was really upsetting and annoying... It doesn't even make sense to happen today... Cos Bangladesh is a Muslim country and Friday (tomorrow ya...) is an off day!!!! So see? Irrational behaviour... Still, many thanx to the people I ranted to about this depression... I'm ok now!!!

Morale of the story? None, dude, it's not morale!

Moral of the story: Always drink your Dud Chah Cheeni Kom....

Daily Heart Evening News Bulletin Broadcast

2005-01-05T18:00:00.000+06:00

Shovo Shonda. Good Evening. This is the whatever-time-it-is-where-you-are News Bulletin and I’m your presenter… Gwen "Yo!".

We begin our bulletin with the latest from the Tsunami Aftermath. Reports from the Daily Star (the only English International Newspaper available at the Drik Office.) have come in of several cases of rape, theft, and child trafficking from Aceh, Indonesia. Many of these criminals are taking advantage of the chaos caused by the earthquake & tsunami to, well, take advantage of the empty homes, the homeless women and the orphaned children. Our Dhaka correspondent, Goan "Yo!", has more.

“Yes, Gwen. This is a real outrage. Although to our listeners back home, it may not be such a big fuss, since we are only the next-door-neighbours to Indonesia. We are definitely more concerned about our own children going missing for 24 hours after the Huang Na incident. Parents are getting paranoid about their own children, but are not bothered about others. Perhaps this is why Singaporean children nowadays are getting so spoilt and arrogant and are being mean to their own teachers. But I was once a teacher and my mum still is, so don’t take my word for it.”

“But I can assure you, Gwen, children all over the world, at least those that I have seen here in Dhaka, are extremely adorable. Take for instance, Noyl (son of housekeeper Mothi) and Abas (son of Malu and Koli who stay at Pathshala). They are always playing together on the rooftop of Pathshala. All the toys they got is a toy gun that makes noise, and they couldn’t be happier if they had the entire Toys R Us in their rooms. Then there is Al amin, who works at the Chitroshala (developing shop outside Pathshala), he’s slightly older but is very independent and speaks good English. Not to mention the little boy peddling 'badoom' (peanuts) at the street. He stared at me with those cute little eyes, and I couldn't help buying from him. I paid 4 takas for peanuts!! There’s also the little boy who serves coffee at DrikCafe but for the life of me, I can’t remember his name. He calculates the bill in his head, never spills a coffee or drops a plate, and covers the tea with a saucer when he sees that the person who is going to drink the coffee is not around. Could Singaporean kids do that? Sure… But would they? Not if their parents won’t let them. (Which is what happens…) There’s even two young boys minding a street stall next to the lake. When we walked pass, they shouted the only English phrase they knew… ‘Good Morning!’ Adorable? You bet. Utterly endearing.”

That is great, Goan! I’m sure the readers will agree with you. So, the next time you parents want to protect your kid from something, first ponder if you should protect them from yourselves. You could be cramping their potential and adorability factor.

Music~

We interrupt this news bulletin with a traffic update from our Traffic Expert, Gwon "Yo!". She is considered an expert because she rides the Mishu to work every morning (squished between Shalini and Jess), rode a cab and CNG once each, and has ridden countless rickshaws and has learnt the art of not feeling like you are about to fall off.

"This is some essential news for all who plan to come to Dhaka on a holiday. After 9.30pm, take a cab. Do not take a CNG (a vehicle that uses Compressed Natural Gas and has 'CNG' written on it). According to Shalini, there is a high chance that mugging will occur as some drivers are in cahoots with muggers. This transport expert would not really know because she has not been out so late before, and has not been mugged either. She also hopes never to be mugged."

"If you are coming to visit Dhaka, please bring along a Bengali speaking friend. It will prove invaluable, as would a good road map (non-existent here in Dhaka)."

"Also, there is a little technique to sitting in a rickshaw that will prove invaluable to all. Press your feet on the rods behind the seat of the rickshaw driver. In case of sudden braking (very frequent in heavy traffic), you can save yourself from falling out. Also, to get rid of the fear of falling off during a turn, tuck your shoulder on the inside of the hood thing. Then the centripetal force can't throw you off."

"Try to know where you are going before getting into a rickshaw without the help of a Bangla speaking friend, cos you will feel bad when the driver gets utterly lost together with you. And when your friend is a real humanitarian, she would gladly double the bargained price and you have to stop her before she gives all her money away to all the locals"

"Lastly, if you are going to sit in a Mishu, try to squeeze 3 in it. It saves money, and definitely squeezes your butt smaller."

"That's all for traffic update!"

Music~

Now for personal news. The precious resources of Dhaka has once again been leeched by a particular slacker in Drik agency, who spent some time surfing the web, checking mail and playing a bomberman-like game. But she leeched a little less than yesterday. Left with no work to do, she went to visit Amin (photographer) in the studio to see his portfolio and learnt some photoshop tricks of the trade. She also exchanged some knowledge of getting proper exposures for studio shoots. Later on, she bugged Atiq to teach her how to retouch photos and even learnt about a program called photo stitch that puts together panoramic photos digitally. Lastly, she visited two galleries to see the art exhibition of renowned Bangladeshi painter Zairul Abedin. Now, she is a huge fan and expert curator of his work. It has indeed been a hard day's work for her.

Finally, we want to thank our dear sponsors for making this bulletin possible. The main funder, Mr "Yo!", who commented that when he reads these bulletins, it makes him feel that this presenter is next to him. The positive comments given by super critic & only commenter Mr Soh-Sue-Me have been a great encouragement to the Main Editor & Scriptwriter (Me again). Also, the letters coming from fans have fanned this Editor's urge to write. The crew of Daily Heart sends their warmest thanks to all who have been reading (in between lessons & fyps). We will keep on presenting all the news fit to broadcast for as long as possible.

Yet another slacker leeching Dhaka's precious resources...

2005-01-04T17:58:00.000+06:00

Bangla Lesson #3
Abat Decka Hobit - See you later

Seriously... I think I'm a real leech... Bummer like.... Then again... I was always one...

Jess is in the photo library department... And they're really busy cos they are cataloging the entire photo library... Dun get me wrong... They aren't like so busy that they aren't getting time to rest... Tea breaks are a total must in Drik... It's just that they have some work to do... and from what Jess says... it's really really boring... repetitive and mundane... Good point: She gets to see a lot of photos... Not sure if she remembers them though cos i think she seemed a little numb when i visited her....

And what have I been doing?? Yes... that is the question... Ans: Absolutely nothing... Ok... I'm in the publication department... And they haven't been doing anything either... Atiq promised to show me how to maintain digital photos... but he hasn't got any pictures to maintain... He's just checking mail and playing computer games... Reza said he'd let me try to do layout... for a cover of a calendar... but that day, the computers weren't cooperating so he couldn't download the pictures from his thumbdrive...

Normally, when that happens, I'd troop into Multimedia department... Talk to and learn Bangla from Rajib, surf the internet, check my email, maintain my blog, and chat on MSN.... Or, I'd wander around on my own taking pictures of Drik... Finished 2 rolls so far... (guess what.. the developing shop is just outside Pathshala where I stay... and it's Drik property...)

That was what I did today too... But then, I did end up talking to Tutul about the budgeting job he has from Chobi Mela, and to Abir (excellent photographer) about his wife (who came to visit today) and son... Then later on, Abir invited me to go sit in on the fashion shoot at the studio later that day.... While waiting for the models and clients to come, I had the privilege of getting to see Abir's photos... Fantastic work btw...

In one of them, two men were burying a small child who died during a flood..The child was placed on a cane raft, wrapped in burial clothes, and put on the river cos the parents had no dry land to bury the child... That one made me cry... There were others that made me smile... Pictures from a Miss World Pageant that was organised and held in a village... the contestants were the little girls in the village... and there were ppl like Miss Norway, Miss Australia etc... haha! Hilarious... The girls got all dolled up with make up, henna, and saris... very cute...

Then the clients came along... There was this male model who was super confident of himself... (really egotistic)... He looked really good... eye candy like... The outfits really looked quite good on him i must say... But then Topu and I started joking that he didn't really have a lot of poses... always looked the same way and stood the same way... There was this really lovely sari that this female model was wearing... She was quite pretty and that helped it too i guess... (Jess and I decided that we are not going home until we have our own lovely saris... and of cos lots of nice tees from here... really cheap...)

When I got sleepy in the studio, I went to the Gallery... There's a new exhibition that opened today... And the press was there... I was just lingering outside when Topu got me to go in... Before I knew it, the cameraman was filming me looking at the pictures and hearing explanations from Nazrul... Talk about sabo! I think i'm gonna be on the 1030pm news...

Here's the thing... Jess wasn't around much cos she had to do her work at Library... (Dun think she's seen the exhibition yet... and she couldn't stick around much for the photo shoot....) While I had the freedom to roam around the place and see what everyone else was doing.... So, although I didn't really get any work done... For a slacker like myself, I feel I've done quite a bit today... (My sisters are not gonna like this)

But still... Hope I can figure out something for myself to do soon... Before I really rot....

Just a little titbit... No one here calls me Yixin, or Xin, or Gwyneth... Those were way too difficult for them to grasp.... I'm Gwen over here... (No offence to the real Gwen).. and even that's a bit difficult... I get called Gwon or Goan or something equally horrendous.... But everyone remembers Jessica's name... So jealous! haha! Oh well... Just a little gripe...

Abat Decka Hobit!

A Real Humanitarian

2005-01-04T08:46:00.000+06:00

I was talking to Shalini, Jess and Shalini's friends after work yesterday... And they were joking about my being a Christian and being very religious... (My not drinking or smoking didn't help one bit...) They even said I would use holy water and the cross to exorcise ghosts and such... I wasn't offended or anything... But I just realized how clueless they were... (fyi... holy water and the crucifix are for catholics.. I'm a protestant... )

Really... Christianity is not about rituals or routines… It is about a relationship and restoration…I dun believe in holy bread or holy water (no offence to my catholic frens)… I dun believe in making a picture or a statue out of my impression of God... Because He is so big! He cannot and would not be fitted into a fixed item... I feel these things are man made….Man's creations... To make us religious and to distract us from having a very personal relationship…. Can the creation really recreate the Creator? I doubt it... Perhaps some can have these symbols around and not be distracted... But that's not me....

I believe God doesn't want us to be distracted from Him… I mean... Which person would like their frens to talk to them routinely… like the conversations I have with the security guard at drik… ami pathshala jabo (i'm going pathshala)…or tomi kamon achen (how are you?)… bhalo achi(i'm good). God is a person… like us… and he wants a lively and interesting conversations with us... like the kind we have with our best friends and loved ones... The most interesting part is... Even if you are not Christian… He still hears you… cos He loves all of us... When you know Him, we are placed at a higher position than angels! (That's biblical btw...)

A relationship with God (I realized) is never boring or routine… but ever changing and interesting…. I really learnt to see more and more of that as I came here... Cos I had more time to talk to Him... And because I am far from home, He is my source of familiarity... Just last night, I (surprisingly), I did not feel homesick... Instead, I felt a joy in being able to feel secure in a foreign place... That security was not by accident... I knew that people at home were praying for me and I too was constantly spending time talking to God... That made all the difference....

But to some, this might be abit over the top... Like it's hard to understand... Then perhaps we can talk about Jesus... The man who was on Earth and did great things... He was known as the Son of God... Not because people said it... But because God from heaven said that this is His Son... In who He is well pleased...

What was Jesus like?

Jessica (the other girl with me in Dhaka) is very interested about helping the less fortunate… She’s quite a human rights activist… Got the humanitarian blood… Many people are like her… But they all dunno that the one person they are emulating is Jesus… the real Human Rights activist…

In the 3 years of Jesus’ ministry… He did everything that NGOs and volunteers attempt to do now for the third world countries or war torn countries: bring food, bring medical care, look for justice. He fed the less fortunate people… like the poor and the widowed and the young… He did not despise anyone, not even the ones that the people themselves despised… except those who were abusing their power… The Pharisees etc… He came to heal the lame, the blind, the sick…. He brought restoration to people who were miserable or discouraged… like counseling… only better…. These incidents were all described in detail in the bible...

And He did even more! He died for us….Took away the consequence of sin… So that for eternity we would be taken cared of too…. Can any NGO promise that? The promise of not having to suffer the consequences of our own wrong doings... I doubt it….

What is most unfair... is that many of these NGOs and volunteer groups are getting the recognition for all they are doing... Yet no one is willing to acknowledge the one who started it all... Instead they just brush Him aside as another religion....

Being a christian is not in anyway an excuse to not do anything for the needy... (Just cos everyone is going to heaven... or wat not)... Instead, it is a discipline to be like Jesus in the way He served people... met their needs physically, emotionally, and spiritually... But rather than take credit for myself for the things that I do... I want Jesus, the one who first loved us and did all this for us, to have all the credit...

Ten little incidents....

2005-01-03T11:47:00.000+06:00

Bangla Lesson #2
shovo shokal - good morning
shovo shonda - good afternoon
shovo ratri - good night
et - one
dui - two
tin - three
cha - four
pach - five
choy - six
shat - seven
utt - eight
noy - nine
dosh - ten

I know I said I'd come here to learn things... I had no idea how true it would be when I said that....

et - I just found a little mouse hiding in my room yesterday... Although I didn't scream or anything, I started taking some precautions against the little fella... Like wearing my shoes in the room (so it can't accidentally on purpose bite my feet), locking everything in the metal cabinet (i hope it can't bite thru that) and putting my guitar on the chair (I checked it for bite marks... none so far)...

dui - It's good to have running water... Even better to have hot running water... But when there's no hot water... Just be thankful when you can finish bathing or washing a sock or a mug without having to wait for the pathetic little trickles... I dun even need a shower head anymore... Just figured out the shower yesterday night... before that I was showering from the sink and that was good... Especially when you get spurts of hot water...

tin - Nights here really are quite dodgy... Especially in the crowded dark areas... Have to be on your toes all the time... Cos either everyone is staring at you funny when you jostle with them, or you're afraid of losing your guide in the crowd, or you just might get run over by a rickshaw or a car... Then there's the worry about being mugged cos you're the only asian face around and to some, that might mean... $$... (I'm not sure... But I think i would have been quite a funny sight to some ppl... Imagine a young asian girl walking closely behind an old and shorter Bangladeshi man... clutching her bag with all her strength and having a scowl on her face to ward off muggers... Hilarious!!) Given another chance to walk around at night... I might give it a pass... or just get thru it in a CNG... Or... I could coal my face... and wear a sari...

cha - Whether it's 56K or cable... As long as you have internet connection that is working... Praise God... Then you can finally check your mail... And go online... And blog... And when you're lucky, a certain special someone will email you and totally make your day! =p (...of cos i'm talking about Jess... Her boyfriend is totally sweet... haha...yeah right...)

pach - It would be nice to have a washing machine... And have a good place to hang everything... But, all I ask for now, is a pail to wash my clothes... And some sun so that whatever I wash will actually dry.... Talk about simple pleasures man.... According to Il Mare the movie, it's therapeutic to do laundry... I wouldn't know actually... I haven't started washing the big things cos I've only been here what... 3 days... Plus, I haven't got my pail yet....

choy - Never thought I'd say this... But I would actually like to have something to eat which isn't too salty, too oily or too sweet... Not a chance over here... Everything is too sweet, too salty, too oily... And if they could do it, it'd probably be all three! Either I'm gonna get diabetes, heart disease or high blood pressure... Otherwise, I'd just go back home fat! On top of being completely unrecognisable because I'm darker and when I talk I bob my head from side to side... (That's for you racists out there....) But seriously, there goes the plan of going home stick thin and having nicer arms when I wear my dress for my sister's tiffany inspired wedding.. Gotta figure out a way to eat healthier... (bet my mum's gonna have a lot to say to me when she reads this bit...)

shat - No matter how many times you take a rickshaw... You will always feel like falling off.... It's just the way it is... I decided that rickshaw riders are very skillful and they make sure the wheels dun get into any potholes in the ground... so there's no chance of the thing falling to the side... but you still feel like you might fall... It's also freaky when the cars drive right next to you... or when everyone horns at everyone else... kinda like morse code or something... Still, it's not as bad as China... Where people drive with their hand on the horn... Only stopping to take a breather....

utt - Once you've walked around enough on the roads, you get used to the air looking like there's sand in it that hasn't settled.... For that matter... the sand never settles... Everything has that brown sheen to it... Shalini's grossed out by the dust that gets on her face... I'm grossed out by the black snot that you snuff out of your nose at night... (ok... shall stop with the gross details)

noy - This is the first time I find that jeans and a long sleeved sweater isn't conservative and decent enough.... Need to get a sari or a shawl... So that I can cover myself... It's not really that I think anything is wrong.. But I'm quite attention grabbing i discovered...(like Wu Bin said... It's the first time I'm the centre of attraction to so many men) And it's good for the summer when a sweater would be way too hot for the 35 deg midday sun...

dosh - When you're far away from home, everything that reminds you of home is a good and bad thing... Good thing - It makes you feel an affinity with it... Bad thing - the affinity makes you cry... I spent the whole of last night looking at old videos and pictures of family and friends... It's interesting that little 3x4 pieces of glossy paper with faces on them can have such a great impact on you... (ref. family photos that my sister printed for me...) Huimei made a mistake and burnt me a copy of her birthday video instead of the camp video... But i think that was more fun than the camp video... Cos the Chou Kuan & NIE gang was there too.. There's this picture done by a singaporean here in Drik.. A collage of 9 square pictures taken from singapore... I have to stare at it everytime i walk pass... There's also the good thing about autoroam... I can make and receive calls and sms to Singapore anytime I want... (that's a hint to all lazy bums & utter cheapskates who dun wanna email me... your charge would be singapore rates... it's only when i reply that it's expensive...)

So that's ten things I've learnt so far... I'm sure there are others that I can't recall now... There's also the problem that I can't count beyond ten... will get back with more stuff soon I guess... In the meantime,

"Shovo Shonda!"

A religious exchange...

2005-01-03T09:45:00.000+06:00

It was really strange...

I went to visit Peter's church and guess what? It's a Catholic Church and they only speak Bangla!!! Oh man.... I took it as a sort of learning experience... But seriously, I couldn't quite tell the difference between this church and any other religious gathering. Ok, so the building is really nice... It's called the Lady Rosary Church and it has the nativity scene on the outside of the main building... They have pictures of Jesus' resurrection and Noah's ark...

But then, it just looks... Religious... With a huge Jesus' on the cross at the front, with an equally large necklace surrounding the whole thing... The priest seems all high and mighty and powerful with the weird garb... He bows before taking out the holy bread, and he commands when everyone sits, stands, eats bread and all that sort of thing. No one was holding a bible at all, and the worship is... routine... Maybe cos it just sounds like Indian music to me... I dunno, with all that religious rituals, it almost reminded me of the Buddhist rituals and what not... That gave me the creeps...

When I thought about that, God reminded me that I was a sinner... Just like them... No difference... And they were all looking for Him and to Him... The way I was... Guess I should start to be a bit more humble....

There's one thing though... I remembered looking at the grave yard and I saw the grave of a very prominent Father... He wasn't a Bangladeshi... Came to Dhaka in 1933 to be a Father, and died here in 1988... As I looked at his grave, thinking over his 55years here in Dhaka... I wondered what he came here for... What had he hoped to see or achieve? Was he hoping to see a revival of the Church here? What kind of resistance and opposition did he face? And did he die seeing what he came for? Or did he die having regrets? Wondered if he would be happy with what things are today...

I really pray that God will start a revival here in Bangladesh...

First greetings from abroad...

2005-01-02T13:20:00.000+06:00

Bangla Lesson #1
"Tomi Kamon Achen" - How are you?
"Ami Bhalo Achi" - I'm good
"Ami Bhalo Nai" - I'm not good

This is the first time I got to use the internet. The one at the place where I stay, network was down... Frustrating... Technically, I start work tomorrow.. But I'm in the office already... Getting to know the people and their names and portfolios... Doesn't look like there's gonna be much work to do soon... Cos they just finished a major project and they are taking a break.. Chobi Mela.. A Photography festival... www.chobimela.org

I had such a long day yesterday that I tot today was the 3rd & I wished my mother happy birthday a day in advance. She had to remind me it was only the 2nd... So brace yourself... cos this is gonna be one long entry...

Arrived here at 3am (Singapore Time), at the Zia International Airport. The arrival was delayed by a few hours because of a stopover at KL... Was doing last minute revisions on the plane (i.e. reading the Bangladesh travel book). Felt really miserable cos my nose was blocked and during the descent I experienced a horrible earache.

That was the least of my worries. That night, I cried as I unpacked. Not the entire time... Just bouts of crying... I was just missing home so bad and feeling really alone... (Also because I was opening presents and gifts given by my family & my entire section who came to send me off! Mark & Ivan gave me a card with Ivan's voucher for a free coffee from starbucks. Valid for 6 months. We're supposed to go back and drink it when I return in June...So sweet right??) Thank God for his presence in the room as I worshipped. And I was comforted after every time I cried...

Drik Photo Gallery... http://www.drik.net/ ... The place where I work... It's very cool. Three storeys, but the satellite dish goes much higher up... It's got a studio, several departments (publishing, multimedia, gallery, photo library, and a school Pathshala, where I stay), even got a little cafe called Drik Cafe where everyone goes to drink tea & eat (Best thing, it's discounted for Drik Employees!). The whole place looks really good. The stairs have cool drawings at the steps, there's a lot of excellent photos put up everywhere, and the Gallery is very modern (think a decent fully furbished art gallery in Singapore and you'll know what I mean) . Their work is very very professional.. Even better than a lot of design work in Singapore.

I stay at Pathshala, the photography school set up by Drik founder Shahidul Alam. My room is really nice... red bricked, with two huge windows... A large bed (like super super single)... Desk & Shelves... Huge metal cabinet... Attached toilet & shower... It's way better than Hall 15! It even has an in-house cook, Peter... His cooking is fantastic! When I get to develop my photos, I'll post them up... Think I'll take photos of his food too...(He's a Christian btw, and he's bringing me to his church tonight.. Yay!)

The people are nice too... Both @ Drik & Pathshala... Jess & I have been trying to learn Bangla from them... It's really confusing but they are all very patient... There's Shalini who stays with us at Pathshala... There's hilarious Topu (assistant to Shahidul) who resembles Osama Bin Laden when he wears a Turban... There's the interesting Abir who is a photographer... His work is on the Chobimela website... Then there's Singaporean Wubin who's been here for a month and left last night... There's also the really cute Rajiv who does the website programming... & several others. Most of them are really young! About late 20s to early 30s. But all very creative, motivated and capable people.

But really... It's been all about first time experiences. First time I'm away from home so long, first time I sat in a Bangladeshi rickshaw and felt like i was gonna fall off (the CRG is much more secure), first time I showered halfway and then the water ran out (I prayed and waited and water came back), first time I walked around on the streets experiencing the dust and air pollution and the first time I ate curry and rice with my hands.

Dhaka is a very cool place. It's more than what our society portrays. (Construction workers, people who run around trees, eat curry and hold hands) Their lifestyle is pretty simple. The streets are always so full of bustle, lots of little food hawkers, you can buy anything you need from the supermarkets. Plus, everyone loves going for tea, kinda like the coffee drinking culture back at home... Ok, so there are the young boys peddling chocolates on the streets, beggars who come up to your car to ask for alms, women all wrapped in their saris and cover their head for modesty. But overall, it's very quaint.

Maybe in 6 months, all I would be thinking of is going home...But for now, I believe I'm gonna like it here and I might want to come back again in future... As the Bangladeshis say...

"Ami Bhalo Achi"

The very beginning of it all...

2004-12-31T09:10:00.000+06:00

It's a strange feeling... In a few hours time, I would be going to a new place... to start a new life... to explore a new place... to experience something beyond my wildest imaginings...

I'm going to Dhaka, Bangladesh to live and work for 6 months.

Think I never ever expected myself to do something like this... I was always so comfortable with where I was and how I lived my life... I didn't even want to go on exchange because I would have to celebrate my birthday overseas... My greatest worries in life were things like "how to maintain my careless lifestyle when i finished school"... (My close friends have been on my case for being so lazy...)

This is how it all started..

This overseas thing is an internship. I'd tried to get one in Singapore...Mostly research firms.
Not by choice, but because of the lack of opportunities. (I'm a research student by allocation. So all the production companies did not offer me production internships.) Anyway, I didn't get anything. Applied for 3 companies, went for 2 interviews, didn't get a single 1. Then I spoke with my lecturer. He said that he had the contacts for an internship company in Bangladesh, asked me if i wanted to go. He tot it would be a great experience for me.

I went back to pray and ask God whether I should go... God was quite firm in saying "YES'. I was surprised! He never does that any other time... Everytime I prayed "it's ok.. You don't have to say yes.." I felt uneasy... God was telling me "Go"...

I wasn't convinced. Had to ask my leader. Told God that if He wanted me to go... Then let my leader give me the green light. Normally she's really strict with me... Like my conscience or something... Even she wanted me to go!! No hesitation!
Believe me, it's never happened before...

At home, my dad and sisters tot it was a great idea. Mum wasn't quite so keen... Took a whole lot more praying and asking God to be sure that this is what He really wanted... Took even more family conferences to be sure that this is what I wanted... At one point, I started considering other options like Sri Lanka & India (more of my lecturer's contacts). But I finally decided to go to Bangladesh...

The preparation was gruelling... Had to settle documents and medical checkups with the school...get visa (it took such a long time!)...get air tix...get vaccinations (I took 4!)... pack (oh man, the whole family was involved with that one)...

Then the tsunamis came and went... 80000 ppl lost their lives... A large part of them were in Sri Lanka... 2 ppl died in Bangladesh... Panic swept the region & hit home hard... My mum started panicking... But my sister prayed... She felt that God had protected Bangladesh and left that door open for me... So that I could go... (Disclaimer: this does not mean I am in anyway gloating about Sri Lanka or Acheh... My heart and prayers still goes out to those who have lost their families, lives and homes...) It was just an indication to her that this was God's plan for me...

Now, it's gonna happen... I'm leaving behind my home, my loved ones, and all things familiar to me...

But it feels different... It's not so scary anymore... Not so unbelievable...God had started to put acceptance and anticipation into my heart... I know it's gonna be difficult for a pampered little girl to live in a harsh place like Bangladesh... where crime and poverty actually exists... But I know that my family's love (& prayers from da jie) will be with me... And I know, that since it was God's idea for me to go... He'll take care of me...

I feel that God wants to change me in this 6 months... To grow up, to grow strong, and to learn to trust Him no matter what situations come up... To learn to relate to different people, and to be a more accepting, forgiving and loving person as a whole... Of cos there's more that I can't imagine now... Just got to wait and see...

Wonder how I'd turn out after 6 months...

Always a first time for everything...

2004-12-30T09:35:00.000+06:00

I hate blogs... Always thought they were pathetic excuses for people to feel important about themselves and their thoughts... I mean... Why do you wanna sun your dirty laundry in public?

So you ask... Why sell out now?

I don't know...
Maybe because Ivan posts really cool poems on his....
Maybe because Mich revamped hers and it looks way cool...
Maybe because I actually like writing but I can't find another place for it...(typing is easier)
Maybe because I'm going away to Bangladesh and EVERYONE wants to know what happens to me there....
Maybe also because I discovered I can have a blog that no one actually sees... How cool is that?

So for all these reasons... lame or otherwise (you decide)... I finally got myself a blog...
If my pride ever dogs me hard enough about selling out, you'll know... Cos i'd never write another post ever again...

Last question... What's "whitefairblessed" supposed to mean?

It's the meaning of my christian name "Gwyneth"...
A female variant of the name "Gwynedd"...
which is derived from the Welsh word "gwyn" meaning "white, fair, blessed"...

There's another meaning to my name...(If you're interested)
A derivation from the Welsh word "gwynaeth"

It means "happiness"....